To Be Or Not To Be

Not much action in the Berube household to speak of. It has been a rainy/snowy overall BLAH sort of day. Never in December would I believe there would be rain, but there it was. At least it has finally turned to snow and I can feel less freaked-out about global warming. I'm sure it didn't help that Mike and I watched a t.v. show last night about studies at the polar ice caps and predictions of melting glaciers and rising sea levels. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Well maybe I need to just take a deep breath and chill out for a second. I know the world probably isn't going to end any second, so I can at least finish this post. But I really can't believe how ignorant and careless most people are about global issues. I know it doesn't do any good to worry constantly, but most people seem totally oblivious to the human impact on the planet. People worry more about the things they will buy and how they will make more money then they do about the planet they live on. So for those of you out there who are not concerned, let me inform you. Evey single thing that you buy and use has an impact on the planet! Cars, gas, clothing, electronics, soap, food, electricity, paper towels, airplanes, water bottles, EVERYTHING! Are all the extra things that you buy and use worth the destruction of our planet? Is it that hard to cut back on what you use, even a little? I know I sound like a freaky, raging environmentalist, but I feel like it has to be said. Obviously, few people are thinking about it on their own. What kind of world are we leaving for our children? A hostile place where it is hard to get water, let alone survive? Don't put it out of your mind, because what if it happens in our lifetime? Will you be fine living with no electricity? No clean water? No modern conveniences? Can you fend for yourself?

Whisperings

I am late again on posting, but being sick sort of makes you not want to do ANYTHING. Yes I used the s-i-c-k word only because I am running out of patience and options. I might as well admit I am sick. Now please avert your eyes and plug your ears while I cry like at little baby.........OK, I'm done. *sniff, sniff*

Christmas was nice this year even if it did seem to come way too fast because of my many sicknesses. But that is the thing I love about Christmas - You always have next year to try again. The only sad thing is the taking down of decorations and the long wait through a dreary winter. This winter has been unusually snow-less, but dreary all the same. At least if it snowed I could go sledding.

One thing that has been bugging me recently that has nothing to do with Christmas (or maybe it does because Christmas seems to put a lot of people on edge) is people who are nasty and rude. I know I have written about this before, but I think the subject always deserves a revisit now and then. It drives me crazy when people are inconsiderate to others. This is not coming from a saint who has never made the same mistake, but from someone who knows how it feels to be treated badly. One little trick I use when people make me feel bad is to imagine something embarrassing or slightly painful happening to that person. It may be counter-productive, but at least I am not acting out on my frustrations. There is a quote that I like that describes what I mean -

"There is something powerful in the whispering of obscenities, about those in power. There's something delightful about it, something naughty, secretive, forbidden, thrilling. It's like a spell, of sorts. It deflates them, reduces them to the common denominator where they can be dealt with."
Margaret Atwood

See? I am only deflating the mean people in my mind so that I can calmly sit here now and give a lesson on treating others nicely. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Light Memories

Once again the cruel fates have aligned against me. I won't say I am "sick" because that is an evil and vile word, but I will say I am "not quite well". Also, Mike is suffering from an infection from getting his wisdom tooth pulled. Nothing but soup and yogurt and lots of pain for him. So you can imagine we are quite a jolly bunch this Christmas season. I am only writing this entry to distract me from the misery that is my life at the moment.

I love Christmas lights! More precisely, I love Christmas lights in moderation. I don't love when people cover every inch of their house in some sort of light. One or two strands of colorful (not blinking) lights is good for me. When I was a kid, I always had a small Christmas tree of my own in my bedroom. I always would ask my mom to turn the tree lights off after I went to sleep because I loved looking at them while I went to sleep. The fact is, I wish everyone would keep their Christmas lights on as long as it is dark. It's just so sad to me when a place that once had beautiful lights is dark. The lights are somehow comforting to me.

I have many memories of putting up Christmas lights with my family. Me and my brothers were always so excited to break out the brown paper bags containing the lights and test each strand to find burnt-out bulbs. Then it was on to the roof, a strange and new land, to spend hours placing the lights. Afterward, we usually had hot chocolate and listened to Christmas music.

One of my brothers was so into Christmas lights that he would cover the entire ceiling of his bedroom with blue icicle lights. Why blue and why icicle? I'm not sure. But we all loved being in his room even though it was about 100 degrees in there from all the lights. Ah, Christmas memories. Maybe I love Christmas lights because they bring back so many memories.

Here is a picture of Mike and I's little tree. It's not much, but I still love it.

Venting

As the title suggests, this post will be dedicated to my venting. So if you prefer to stay in Happy Fluffy Land, don't read any further.

If anything will be the death of me, I'm pretty sure it will be medical insurance. First of all, medical insurance should be for EVERYONE. Oh, but it's not. It's for people with no preexisting conditions. You know, PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT SICK. Sick people are the ones who need medical insurance the most, yet they can't get it because the the insurance companies can't make money off of them. Even if you do get medical insurance, be prepared to be fought tooth and nail on every expense you incur. Currently, I am having to prove to my insurance company that I am married to my husband, AGAIN, because I guess they didn't understand my marriage licence the first time. They want to deny me coverage unless I can prove I am related to my husband because he is the primary member under the insurance. I wouldn't even mind faxing my marriage licence again if I knew that would solve the problem in a timely manner. But last time this happened, it took literally MONTHS for the insurance company to approve anything, and even then it was because we called them up several times to ask, "ARE YOU DOING YOUR JOB?!" In the mean time, the doctors wanted payment, so I had to keep asking them to hold off while the insurance company pulled their heads out of their asses.

I am so sick and tired of insurance companies holding people hostage for money. There should be no cost on human life. I know healthcare in America is some of the best in the world and we should be willing to pay for it. However, the cost is too high, and I don't only mean the monetary cost. (Although the monetary cost is absurdly high in and of itself.) The cost includes physical and emotional abuse from insurance companies and doctors and, sometimes, even your life. Please please please can't we all help each other without greed and endless bureaucratic negotiations?

Take A Break

Since when did it become commendable to not take breaks at work? It seems like so many people feel like they need to keep working and working because there is just so much work to do and so little time. But I think there is a reason there are laws about giving employees breaks. THEY ARE IMPORTANT. Why kill yourself for your job? Yes there are a lot of important jobs out there, but none of them will make the world come to a crashing halt if you sit down for 15 minutes. Why do we rush through life as if there is a prize for finishing first? Finishing first is just another way of saying dying, and I am in no rush to die. There will always be work to do, and yes, even work that is important to get done quickly. But, to me, there is no work as important as my peace of mind and happiness. Most people now live in a time and place where they are not forced to work every minute of their lives. So I say, appreciate it. Take advantage of it. Enjoy it. You are privileged, so why make yourself a slave?

Practicality Out The Window

Sometime in last few weeks, during the haze of my sickness, I created a pottery piece. I don't remember a lot about the actual painting because I have steadily been trying to forget every minute of when I was sick. But I know I made it because this is now in my kitchen -



Not bad for my first time, eh? Well, actually this was my first clay creation -



A snowman, made in preschool or kindergarten. Of course I only painted it with a clear glaze because I couldn't have a snowman that was anything but white. (I was very literal even at that age.) But I did sculpt it, which is more than I can say for my most recent project. I didn't sculpt the utensil-holder, and I only picked it because if its usefulness. I have always wanted a jar for my bigger kitchen utensils but, in general, I never like to buy things unless I am fairly positive I will get a lot of use out of them. I don't like to clutter my house with a bunch of stuff that serves no purpose. That is the practicality in me, but on the other hand.......THEY ARE SO FUN TO PAINT! I am already wanting to paint another one so I can get the full experience without being sick. In spite of my best intentions, I'm sure someday my house will be filled with useless pottery.

Unpredicted Chaos

I woke up today expecting a very restful day off of work, since working at 4:00am most days has not been kind to my body. Sleeping in was about as far as I got for rest. A short time after getting up I was brushing my teeth when I noticed the toilet bubbling like a witches' cauldron. I thought that was quite odd, but I figured it was just your standard clogged toilet. So I did what any germ-fearing woman would do.....I called for my husband. He came into the bathroom and immediately flushed the toilet, which angered it greatly. It began flooding all over the bathroom floor. Out of sheer panic, we poured some Liquid Plumber into it and began plunging furiously, but that only intensified the mess and the anger raging from the toilet. Finally, we relented and called our landlord who immediately sent a plumber.....who arrived about an hour later. During all this, our neighbor who lives in our duplex called us to tell us that her bathtub wasn't draining. As we found out later, tree roots had likely infiltrated our pipes and taken them over as we slept, unsuspecting. THIS WAS WAR! Good thing we had a plumber on our side who was very suited for the job since he seemed to have no aversion to things of a gross nature. NO FEAR OF GERMS! NO FEAR OF TRACKING TOILET WATER THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE! Those were his battle cries because, although he was a very good plumber, he had no thought of the carnage left in his wake. Hiring him was like using a power hose to clean a spot off your kitchen floor - Messy, yet effective. After hours of work, the plumber was finally done, and we were left with a hazardous bathroom and very little of a restful day off. So much for rest.

Why So Serious?

I have always felt a little unconventional when it comes to following the "rules" of society. I would much rather live my life doing what I want to do rather than only doing what is socially acceptable. I feel I am lucky to live in a time and place where being "different" doesn't always mean "bad". A hundred years ago, and even sometimes still today, people were tortured and killed for not conforming to the rules of society. If you had a baby out of wedlock or had homosexual feelings, you were in big trouble. Thankfully, things have changed for the better, and hopefully they will continue to get even better.

I am not about to start any revolutions, but I like to be quirky and unconventional in little ways. That may mean doing a silly dance, or laying under the Christmas tree to look at the lights, or piercing my nose, or dying my hair, or reading a book that some people don't approve of. Basically, I don't want to take life too seriously. Of course there are times were being serious is appropriate. But, I don't want to miss out on living life because I was too worried about being appropriate. So many people seem to be so uptight about work, money, and relationships, that they forget to enjoy life. Sometimes you just have to stop worrying about what people will think and live the way that makes you happy. Maybe I only have this attitude because I am still young, but I hope it is an attitude I can keep my entire life.

Putting Myself Back Together

It has been a week since my last post, and I am only just beginning to feel somewhat normal again. When I get sick, I get SICK, as in weeks and weeks of recovery time. Being sick has made me appreciate my health more than ever. Of course I always know I could get sick at any time, but I tend to forget just how miserable life can be when an intense illness takes over. I have a deep and sober respect for all those people out there who live with chronic diseases and pain every day of their lives. I hope with every ounce of my being that I am never one of those people, because I'm pretty sure I couldn't take it. I think life is to be enjoyed, and if you can't enjoy it, it is hard to keep on living.

One residual effect of being sick is that I have the urge to wash my hands every five seconds and sanitize everything in sight. The only thing that keeps me from doing this is the knowledge that extreme hand washing and cleaning only makes you more vulnerable to bacteria. I also avoid other sick people like the plague. Just the thought of getting sick again makes me nearly hysteric. But there is one good thing about my whole ordeal. I had my husband by my side, day and night, watching over and caring for me. If I have to fall apart, it is good to know I have someone there to pick up the pieces.

Writing In Misery

Obviously I have been severely neglecting my blog for some time, but that is only because I find it hard to type or even think while I am coughing my lungs out and spraying snot at the computer. Yes, I have a cold. But not just any cold. This is the Mother of All Colds. This is the cold that gave birth to every flimsy baby cold out there. I have literally barely been able to function for the past week. The only thing that gives me any solace is when the time comes that I can take more medicine. That is what I live for at the moment. Oh sweet drugs, take me away!

I finally relented and called into work and went to the doctor today. For those of you who know me, it is a REALLY BIG DEAL when I call into work. I never call into work. Even last Friday, which happened to be the biggest shopping day of the year, I worked 10 full hours. How I survived, I will never know. The doctor prescribed antibiotics and a cough medicine that as I speak is blowing my mind. WHOA MAN! Hopefully this blog will make sense when I go back and read it later.

As I sat at Wal-mart today and waited for my prescription to be filled, I watched all the young mothers shopping with their children, and I longed to be them. I wanted to be them not because there was anything particularly amazing about them, but because their hair was done, they didn't have snot dripping from their noses, and they weren't coughing their brains out every two seconds. So here is hoping for an end to this misery and a return to a normal, unspectacular life.

I Think I Can

Tomorrow I go to the dentist. I can't say I am looking forward to it except for the possibility of getting a clean bill of teeth health. When I was a kid, I was as obsessive about my teeth as I was in many areas of my life. Not brushing at least twice a day was never an option, and at one point I would brush after EVERY, SINGLE, THING I ATE. When I got braces, it got even worse because I had to follow the doctor's orders to the T. No hard foods. No sticky foods. Floss every night using the annoying floss-threader-thingy to thread the floss between your braces. Oh the time I wasted! On second thought, it wasn't all for nothing. I didn't ever get a cavity until I was 20-years-old, and I have some pretty fabulous teeth if I do say so myself. I have lightened up slightly on the whole brushing thing, but I still have a hard time if I ever go a day without it.

I know some people are absolutely terrified of the dentist. While the dentist can be a scary place for me, I look at a dentist visit as a challenge. Can I get a shot in my mouth and be OK? Can I put up with the pain of cold water on my sensitive teeth? Can I survive this appointment? I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. This attitude has lead me to many successful appointments. When I got my wisdom teeth removed, I survived, even though I was literally trembling in the dentist chair. Now I feel stronger and braver every time I go to the dentist.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

As the weather gets colder and the days get shorter, many people start to get a little depressed. Depression that comes during different seasons (most often winter) is an actual disorder called Seasonal affective disorder (SAD). The fact that I think it is funny that the acronym spells "SAD" should be proof enough that I am not depressed at the moment. Yet, I am not ignorant of how dangerous depression can be. It can make your life a living hell, and I feel lucky to have only experienced it to a small degree in my life. I say "a small degree" because I have never been depressed enough to consider suicide, and I have never felt like I needed therapy or medication. I have learned quite a bit about depression in my 29 years, and I know what to do when I start to feel a little down. First of all, you have to stay active and not isolate yourself. Exercise is great for banishing depression, as is being around people who love and support you. Sometimes just getting out of bed when all you want to do is lay there is enough to jump-start your happiness. Writing and music are also very effective at fighting depression. When I feel down, I can listen to a song or write in my journal and feel much better, if not 100 percent better, afterwards. Being in the sunlight is another thing that can help with depression. It may sound silly, but lack of sunlight is one of the reasons people get more depressed in the winter.

Although I am pretty good at controlling my occasional depression, I know there are many people out there who need medication to help with depression. While I don't have anything against the people who do use medication, I personally hope to never have to use it. I just believe a lot can go wrong when you start messing with the mind. Side effects can sometimes be almost as bad, if not worse, than the actual disease and I think many people jump to medication as a "quick fix" too soon. For me, medication is a very very very last resort. It is for when I feel like I can't endure another second of my life, and for people who feel that way, I say 'go for it' if medication makes you feel like you have a life again. I will deal with depression when it comes, but for now I am always hoping for a deliriously happy life.

Unsolicited Leaves

Today was my day off work, so I decided to rake the leaves in our yard. I don't mind raking, but the part I do mind is bagging and or putting the leaves in the trash can. That requires a lot of bending and awkwardness trying to keep the bag open and trying to smash as many leaves as humanly possible into one bag. It also requires touching a lot of leaves which may or may not have dog poop mixed in. So I decided to skip the bagging process and just put the leaves directly into our giant garbage bin. However, the bin turned out to be not so giant, so I was only able to complete half of the yard. That works for me since I could put off doing the area that usually includes the dog poop. Here is the yard before I raked -



Notice one tree is already void of any leaves. That is not because it is a good tree and lost all its leaves before I raked. That is because it is dead. Never would I rejoice a dead tree other than this occasion because it means less leaves for me to pick up. In fact, most of the leaves in our yard came form the next-door-neighbor's tree. This is frustrating, but you can't very well go next door and say, "Could you kindly collect your leaves from my yard?" This is especially true since the people next door are about 100 years old and I think they are vampires because I never see them outside except for in the very early morning when the sun has not completely risen. They use a lawn care service for their lawn, so their side always looks completely spotless while our side is covered with THEIR leaves. Whatever. Someday I too will be a yard-service-hiring-vampire.

Heaven and Hell

I have long been confused by the idea of heaven. Sure, everyone wants to believe in heaven. What else is there other than hell? But what is heaven, really? A place where everyone is perfect and happy all the time? But doesn't that sound absolutely, well, BORING? The first rule to writing a good story is, you have to include conflict. Some sort of problem to solve. Something to figure out. Without that, your story is boring and pointless. Humans are inquisitive creatures by nature. But what does that mean if they are put in a place where nothing bad happens and they already know the answers to EVERYTHING? No more science. No more discovery. No more problems to figure out. No more life......

I have thought that maybe reincarnation is the solution to the heaven problem. But it is really just the same problem. Reincarnation is just another way of saying you live forever, and if anyone lives long enough they are bound to discover everything, therefore becoming bored with life. Even if you forget everything from your past lives, who wants to be stuck in an endless circle of being born and dying and having to learn everything all over when you are born again?

I am far from having any of the answers to life. These are just some of the things I think about from time to time. If anyone has the answers, let me know.

Registration Nightmare

Can I just take a moment to talk about how much I hate registering my car? Every year I just dread doing it almost as much as I dread ever going to the doctor. I think the reason I dread both of these things is because it is almost never good news. When I get my safety and emissions inspection done, I am always waiting with baited breath for the bad news.

You need new windshield wipers.
You have a leaky hose.
Your tires need to be replaced.
You might as well just scrap the whole car.

I know it is important to keep your car in good working condition, and the same goes for your body. But much of the time I want to live in ignorant bliss, because, really, I almost never have the money to fix these problems. Who has thousands of dollars laying around for just such an occasion? Not me, and if you answered 'yes' to that question, please be so kind as to send some of that money my way.

Even after you get your car all fixed up to pass inspection, you still have to pay to get it registered. As if it doesn't already cost enough to own and maintain a car, you have to pay for......what? What are you paying for when you register? The privilege to say you own a car? I thought that's what my loan payment was for. If you ask me, registration should be FREE or at least very low cost. Like $10 low. Maybe if someone explained to me where the money was going I would be less angry about paying for nothing. But for now......ROBIN ANGRY!!!!!!!

Discovery of Music

The holiday season is here, which means more time at work for me and less blog for you. It's not that I don't want to blog, but by the end of a long day, I usually don't have much brainpower left to think of something to write. So bare with me as I try to navigate this holiday season without going insane.

As a child, I really didn't know of any kind of music other than classical, musicals, or Disney music. That was all we listened to in my family. On long family car rides we would listen to things like "Cats" or "Phantom of the Opera" or "Beauty and the Beast". I don't have any regrets being raised this way other than I wish I could have been a little more informed as to the existence of other music styles. When my friends would talk about "New Kids on the Block", I literally had no idea what they were talking about. I just thought maybe there were some new kids living on our block.

By my early teen years I finally began to discover other music styles. C.D.s were just coming out at that time and my older brother would let me borrow his C.D.s like The Fresh Prince, Weird Al, and The Red Hot Chili Peppers. That last one is what really got me hooked on different music styles. Once I heard "Under the Bridge" there was no going back, and it is still my favorite song to this day.

Today I am proud to say I am a lover of all musical styles. There is no kind of music I won't try and very few I really dislike. I have written before about disliking modern music, and that is true only because I feel there is no real meaning or passion behind most of it. It is just created to make money and show off. I love music that can tug on your emotions or that amazes me with its complexities. There is already so much amazing music out there that it wouldn't bother me if no new music was ever written again. I could listen to what there already is for a lifetime.

Self Analysis

I have often heard people describe themselves as left-brained or right-brained. In my case, I have always thought of myself as a mix of both. My suspicions were confirmed when I took this quiz and got this result -

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others. Left Brain Dominance: (16) Right Brain Dominance: (16) Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

The same on both sides! Can you believe it?! I know this quiz is probably not entirely scientifically accurate, but it does give some insight.

On the left side I can be very logical and rational. On the right side, I also love art and being creative. If I were totally honest with myself, I would probably say I am slightly more left-brained, just because I like organization so much. But I don't want to be honest with myself at the moment. I want to think I have the best of both worlds!

I also took another quiz, recently, that calculated my Autism Spectrum Quotient. That means it calculated my tendency toward Autism such as Asperger Syndrome. Well I scored 30 which is very high considering the average score for women is 15. Most people with Asperger Syndrome score 35 or higher. So yeah.....I am right up there. The results really didn't surprise me. I have long suspected that I am border-line autistic. It comes off as shyness, but it's nice to know that it may be an actual medical condition rather than something I can just "get over". Not that it makes much of a difference to me what my diagnosis may be. I am what I am, and I don't think there is any diagnosis or therapy or prescription that can change that. Besides, I am pretty happy with the way I am.

Headless Love

Recently, Bear did this to her toy -



It used to be a turtle, and, believe it or not, it was actually pretty cute before she savagely ripped the head off. I think she actually thinks she is killing something because she shakes her toys violently and once they rip open she spends her time pulling the fluff out as if it was guts. I promise she is really a very nice dog, although all the dog haters out there are sure to not take my word for it. Honestly, I think she just gets bored. What would you do if you were locked in a house with nothing to do for several hours? You would probably start ripping things apart too. I just feel lucky that Bear is not one of those dogs who destroy the entire house while you are gone. If a new toy to rip apart every so often keeps her happy, then I'm all about it. Besides, she loves her headless turtle -

Losing My Hair

Yesterday was trick-or-treat night. I don't say Halloween because technically it was the day before Halloween. Since Halloween fell on a Sunday this year, it gets celebrated the day before. The same thing happened with the 4th of July this year. Weird. Anyway, what big plans did I have for Halloween fun?......I dyed my hair.......again.



Not too bad, right? Well it took a lot of work to get it this way. I first started the hair-dying journey on the 29th. I asked Mike to help me dye it that night since I am too cheap to hire a professional. Cheapness does not pay off. He tried so hard to do a good job. Bless his little heart. He just doesn't have the cosmetology gene. So last night I went through and re-dyed my hair. At this rate I will lose all my hair before I get to dye it because dying my hair is a stressful process to me. I about have a heart attack any time hair dye gets on anything other than my hair. Then there are the hours spent in the shower trying to rinse all that dye out. Come to think of it, I'm not sure why I even do it. Boredom I suppose.

We Have Gone Too Far

I have felt slightly melancholy today, and I think it has something to do with what I see in stores. Grocery stores. Clothing stores. Restaurants. Basically all stores. What I see is unbridled waste and greed. So much "stuff", manufactured just to be wasted. What I mean by that is, excessive amounts of cheap products being made and shipped to stores. When they get to the stores, there are so many of them that they don't all get sold and end up thrown away or sold at a huge loss to the store. So much "stuff" made for nothing. Resources wasted for the greed of company owners and shoppers. This is coming from someone who likes to shop, and even I realize we have gone too far. People don't need so many choices. There doesn't need to be 50 different kinds of bread at the grocery store. There doesn't need to be 20 different coats for me to chose from at the clothing store. And I'm just talking about one store. Just think of the millions or billions of stores to chose from! I am scared to even think of the waste that is happening on such a gigantic scale. I have a warm house, and clothing, and food. Everything beyond the bare minimum is a blessing and should not be taken for granted or wasted.

Let The Cupcake Feast Begin!

Happy birthday to me.....happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear meeeee! Happy birthday to me!

Yep, that's right. Today is my 29th birthday. One more year until the big 3-0. Being almost 30 doesn't freak me out, but getting older in general does freak me out. Let's face it. We live in a society obsessed with youth and beauty, and the older you get, the more obsolete you become. Also, the less time you have left to do everything you want to do with your life. My only comfort is that I have my wonderful husband to grow old with.

I thought about making this blog about the things I have learned so far in my life, but then I remembered two things -

#1 I hate when bloggers list things like that because it usually comes off cheesy and stupid like - "I have learned that it is always better to wait until after dinner to eat dessert."

#2 I really haven't learned anything.

I swear the idea that I haven't learned anything doesn't come from feeling high and mighty and better than everyone else. Quite the opposite. It all come from a college philosophy class that really messed with my head. The course gave me the idea that we never really know anything for sure. Everything is subjective. What made it worse is that course was an at-home course. So I just read about all this stuff and then had no one to talk to about it. I hate philosophy........ But I think I am a philosophical person. Wrap your head around that.

To distract me from all this philosophy, Mike bought me cupcakes!



These are not just any cupcakes. They are from a place called Vintage Cupcakes, which means they are REALLY, REALLY GOOD. I love Vintage Cupcake because it is none of that from-a-box, processed crap that usually makes up modern cupcakes. The owner obviously cares about quality, which is something that is missing from almost every part of modern life. So I say, "Let the cupcake feast begin!"

Neither Stylish Nor Cool

Curses! Why do I wake up at 6:00 am on a day when I don't have to work, and then lay in bed for a half-hour trying to go back to sleep? WHY?! My body must hate me. Since I am up, I guess I might as well blog.

Yesterday, Mike got me an early birthday present. There really is no such thing as an "on time birthday present" with him. He is worse than a 10-year-old when it comes to waiting for things. I didn't mind this time, though, because I got to pick out what I wanted at the mall, which was......JEANS! I have a jean addiction like it's nobody's business. Actually, I love clothing in general, but mostly jeans. I have a theory that my clothing addiction comes from being a less-than-fashionable Mormon child who really had no clue what "style" or "cool" were. I'm not saying I am stylish or cool now, but at least I am less oblivious to the ways of the world. I would post a picture of my new jeans, but in case you didn't know, it is still REALLY EARLY, and Mike is still sleeping, and I just don't feel like doing anything but sitting here typing. I have also become keenly aware, as of late, that my photography skills are sorely lacking. Occasionally, I have the thought that I should take some sort of photography class, but I am reluctant to get into any hobby that would require large amounts of $$$. I would then be frustrated by my lack of proper supplies and the money to get them. So hobbies are off the table. Except for this, blogging. This is FREE! Yay! However.......no hobbies means nothing to blog about. We seem to have reached an impasse.

The Blackest Of Days

Even though black Friday is not going to be here for about another month, I wanted to write about it just because I am dreading it so much. Black Friday is the one day out of the year that I almost completely lose faith in the human race. I am disgusted by the behavior of so many people on that day. The overwhelming greed and selfishness is astounding to me. People have been killed on this day, for crying out loud! And for what? A t.v.? A video game? If it was up to me, I would stay home on black Friday and try to think happy thoughts. Unfortunately, I work in retail, so I am required to participate in the madness. I actually understand why businesses do what they do on black Friday. They want to make money and black Friday is the day where their finances change from the negative "red" to the positive "black". Hence the name, black Friday. But for me, the name is ironic, because "black" can also mean "dark and evil", which is what the day is to me. My only hope is that, someday, people will all decide to stay home on that day, or at least learn to treat everyone with love and respect.

Losing My Mind

This morning I was thinking today was the 17th of October. Come to find out, it is actually the 19th! Where those two days went, I couldn't tell you. Time just speeds by for the most part, and I am left standing there saying,"What just happened?" One clear sign that I am losing it happened just yesterday, when this occurred -



I planned on spending some time relaxing and scrapbooking, only to find out that I had just made the same page that I had already made sometime in the past. Ugg The moment was ruined, and even worse, I will be reminded of my forgetfulness every time I turn to those pages. I could just get rid of one of them, but I couldn't bring myself to throw away my hard work. (Not to mention, every piece of scrapbook paper costs at least $0.59.)

I kept plenty busy this last weekend. (Not that much of it will be remembered by next weekend.) So I better write some of it here, so I don't completely forget.

Friday, I babysat my niece Ezzie. Here she is being amused by Mike's shoes -



She is also growing up way too fast. I can remember, not long ago, she didn't even know how to throw a tantrum. She's quickly becoming a pro.

Mike and I went to a corn maze on Saturday. It was the first one we had ever been to together, and I have to say, it was pretty fun. It wasn't really that hard to find our way out, but maybe the sounds of chainsaws and screams nearby gave us a little extra motivation.

I also recently vacuumed the house, and when I went to empty out the dirt I was confronted by this -



I should have warned you that that picture is not for the faint of heart. It is a picture of my vacuum filter, and it still makes me ill every time I look at it. That is all dust and fur. YUM! Needless to say, I spent some time washing that thing.

So there is my weekend in miniature form. Now, what time is it? I think I just lost a few hours.

1 Child = 1 Chicken

There has been a lot of debate where I live as to whether restrictions should be put on pit bulls. These restrictions would include: having insurance on the pit bull, always having the dog on a leash, being subject to random searches of your home, and having a certain fence height to keep the dog enclosed. The random searches one was thrown out because it violates 4th amendment rights. But if you ask me, the whole thing should be thrown out. To me, discriminating against a certain kind of dog is the same as discriminating against a certain kind of person. If you are going to make laws about pit bulls, do it for all dogs or don't do it all. In my opinion, all dogs have the ability to be aggressive. It just depends how they are raised, whether or not they become aggressive. Even if it doesn't have to do with how they are raised, that doesn't mean it is only pit bulls that become dangerous. I think if this law passes, it will just discourage people from adopting pit bulls, and then all those pit bulls will wind up dead. Is that what people want?

One person wrote her opinion in the local newspaper. That person said she was grateful for leash laws because she had a (admittedly irrational) fear of dogs. I don't necessarily have a problem with leash laws. But if someone has a fear, does that mean we have to make laws to keep that person from being afraid? If someone is afraid of cats, do we have to put limits on where cats can roam? I see cats wandering around without a leash or collar all the time. What if they are dangerous? The person who wrote to the paper actually suggested that people should replace their dogs with cats or chickens. As a dog owner I find that insulting. My dog is like a member of my family, and could never be replaced. That is like saying you should replace your children with chickens. Maybe society needs to lighten up on making laws, and realize that life comes with all kinds of risks that everyone cannot always be protected from.

The Spirit Is Still There

Last weekend, Mike and I went to a pumpkin patch with my younger brother, Michael, his wife, Kristin, and their daughter, Esme. Here is a picture of Mike and I with Esme. Try to ignore how dorky we look.



I haven't been to a pumpkin patch since my elementary days, but I have to say it was pretty enjoyable. There is just something about getting out in the fresh air on a farm. You feel more connected to the land. More connected to life.

We rode a "hayride" to get to the pumpkin patch, which was really more like bales of hay on a trailer being pulled by a tractor. No horse or wagon or piles of loose hay. For once in my life I would like to go on an actual hayride, the way they were originally. No motorized vehicles. I guess the spirit is still there. The hayride has just been modernized like everything else. Who is to say if the old way or the new way is better?

Squishy Balls

A few weeks ago, when Mike and I went to the last farmer's market of the year, we got these -

BALLS!



To you un-fun people out there these may seem stupid. But to Mike and I they brought days of pure enjoyment. We found them at a stand that was run by a sweet Asian lady who didn't speak English very well. I didn't understand half of what she was saying, but she showed us these little balls and we fell in love. Only one dollar for a tiny bag that fit in the palm of my hand. But here is the amazing part. When you put them in water, they grow, within a few hours, into squishy, slimy, bouncy, balls! Their intended purpose has something to do with nourishing plants, however, I couldn't get much information from the instructions which were badly translated from Chinese. So Mike and I just spent days running our hands through them and squishing them between our fingers. We have high hopes of someday filling an entire bathtub with them, but we have no idea how to find the mysterious Asian lady again. The only similar thing we have found was a toy kit that cost $24. Say again? Maybe I just dreamed the Asian lady with the $1 balls........

What Is More Natural Than Water?

I don't like when people use the excuse that something is "natural" to justify its use. You know, things like marijuana, or any medication or treatment that uses plants or herbs. Haven't these people ever herd of POISONOUS PLANTS? Plants can kill. Just because it is NATURAL, doesn't mean it is SAFE. Tornadoes, volcanoes, hungry bears, and black widows are all "natural", yet all of those things can be deadly. Those things may be more obviously deadly than a plant, but that is no excuse for ignorance. Most people seem to think that the more "natural" a medication is, the safer it is to use. But the truth is, even some vitamins can be deadly if taken incorrectly. Heck, water can kill you if you drink too much at one time. What is more natural than water? So the next time you think something can't hurt you because it is natural, just remember........YOU'RE BEING STUPID!

Parties Of Old

My birthday is coming up this month and it is hard to believe I have been on this planet almost 29 years. That may seem really young still to many people, but when I think of how many people die young, it makes me grateful to be alive. The one thing I don't like about getting older is the way birthdays become less of a big deal. I'm not the type of person who likes all the attention on me, but it's nice to have one day out of the year where you feel extra special and you get excited for any surprises that might happen.

When I was a kid, my birthday was almost like Christmas to me. Not because I got tons of amazing presents, but because the planning and anticipation of a party were almost as great as the actual day. It helped that my birthday is near Halloween, so I always had an automatic party theme. I'm not sure if my love of Halloween came from having my birthday around that time or the other way around. But, my birthday parties always included things like bobbing for apples, pumpkin decorating, and a cake that usually looked like a jack-o-lantern. I always made my own cake, which people think is weird, but I love baking and decorating, so it was all part of the fun for me. So maybe my excitement for my birthday all came down to my love of decorating, cooking, and planning. Come to think of it, I did those things even for my brother's birthdays.

As I get older, the kinds of parties I liked to plan don't really fly anymore. Decorations, games, and treat bags are more for kid's parties. Adults just go to the bar or out to dinner (which is great also, don't get me wrong). I just sometimes miss the kid parties. All the more reason for me to get some kids of my own.

Halloween Splendor

On October 1st I promptly put up my Halloween decorations because I find that one month is the perfect amount of time to have them up. Any longer than that and they start to lose their appeal. Here is a picture of just a few of the things I have collected over the years.



Can you tell I have a thing for pumpkins? I figured I would put pictures on my blog since Mike and I rarely have house guests, and all this Halloween splendor would never be seen by the world. I try to stay away from decorations that look too cheap or tacky, but I suppose not everyone would agree with my taste anyway. For example I love these bats and little skeleton garland -



I made the bats, so they are cheap for sure, but I love sitting on the couch and gazing up and feeling like I am in a bat cave. It just gives the living room a whole different feel. The tiny skeletons are plastic, which I try to stay away from, but I have a weakness for miniature things. Almost anything is cute in miniature form. Besides, the skeleton garland reminds me of something from a witch doctor's office, so it helps create the feeling that you are somewhere creepy. Maybe "creepy" is not for you, but it is for me. At least for one month.

I like to think that if I had an unlimited budget I could create an amazing Halloween room. Until that happens I will revel in my knick knacks.

Discrimination

Discrimination has been a touchy subject for just about forever, but for me it is just another fact of life. Of course we always want things to be as fair as possible. We make laws to ensure equal treatment for everyone, and many of those laws are needed to prevent violence and hate. However, discrimination cannot be totally eliminated. EVERYONE discriminates every day whether they know it or not. You discriminate between your clothing to decide what to wear. You discriminate between different houses to decide where you want to live. Discrimination could really be called judging, and people usually have no problem with it until it involves other people. But don't we all judge people every day? When you see a guy walking down the street who looks kind of shady, do you try to avoid him? When you see a person who you think is ugly, do you want to be friends with them? Would you take an overweight person's advice on how to lose weight? Those are just a few examples of the countless ways we discriminate. So when does discrimination go too far? When you discriminate against someone because of the color of their skin? How is that any different than discriminating against someone who is ugly? I recently saw a guy on t.v. who admitted that if he wanted to hire someone, and he had two candidates with equal qualifications, he would hire the better-looking person. WHAT? If he said that about a black person and a white person, I'm sure he would have had all kinds of people very upset with him, and he probably would have lost his job. Yet, everyone seemed to accept it as a fact of life that prettier people get breaks that ugly people do not. So tell me, how can an ugly person change the fact that they were born ugly any more than a black person can change the fact that they were born black? Don't give me that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" bullshit. Everyone knows that certain people are just not as good-looking as others. That's a fact of life, just like discrimination is a fact of life. So what do we do about it? ACCEPT IT. Don't accept major injustices, but don't be too sensitive either. As you may have heard, life isn't fare, so don't expect it to be. Maybe you didn't get that job you wanted because you weren't good looking enough or even because of your race or religion. Move on. Find the people and things that make you happy, and forget about those who don't accept you.

We Are All Doomed

I sure didn't mean to go so long without posting, but life just seems to get in the way sometimes. I'm sure you have all been waiting in the edge of your seats, so here it goes.....

Yesterday, Mike and I watched a t.v. show about the crumbling infrastructure of America. Bridges and damns collapsing, huge pipes bursting and leaking. That sort of stuff. It was enough to make a person want to crawl into a bomb shelter and never come out. Yet that would not even protect you, because we also watched a show about how, eventually, the sun will burn out. Great, just great.

Sometimes I wonder why we even try. Do we hope for God to save us when the sun burns out, or do we have to find a way to save ourselves? It seems very unlikely to me that we could possibly find a way to save human kind when the sun burns out, but what do I know? If you are wondering why I am even worried about the sun burning out because it won't happen for a very long time, here is what I have to say about that - It is more a philosophical issue for me. If God exists, why would he give us a sun that would eventually burn out? Are we supposed to find a new plant? Will we all die and go to heaven when the sun burns out? Where is heaven if there is no sun and no one left on earth? I really have no idea. So I try not to worry about the end of the earth too much. If it comes it comes, and then I will see first hand what happens. If I die before the end of the earth, then hopefully I will be a floaty spirit, off being happy somewhere. Until that happens, I guess we just live life the best we can, try to take care of the earth, and think really hard about ways to save the earth when the sun burns out.

Sixty-One

Yesterday, my mom would have been 61 years old. Sadly, she only made it just shy of her 48th birthday before passing away from breast cancer. I think the hardest part about losing someone you love is not missing them, but wondering how life could have been if they were still here. Would I go out to lunch with my mom? Would she give me advice? Would she tell me more about her past? Would she be proud of me on my wedding day? How would she interact with her grandchildren? Would she have traveled with my dad? Those questions can never be answered now, even though I have a pretty good idea what the answers would be. Still, wondering what life would be like with her today still gets to me sometimes. A mother is a very hard thing to go without.

I guess the only thing you can do when you lose someone is go on living and remember the ways they changed your life. My mom gave me her love of reading and writing, music and nature. She also gave me her taste for cucumbers and vinegar and her big teeth and round face. But most of all, she gave me life and a wonderful mother for 15 years.



This is one of my favorite pictures of my mom just because she looks so happy. I like to think of her as a young women, before life got difficult. I like to think that wherever she is now, this is how she looks - peaceful and happy.

Wait

Every year I anxiously await the local Greek food festival. There is now less than a week until it arrives and I am practically salivating in anticipation. I don't think it is even so much about the food as it is about the tradition and the anticipation. If I ate Greek food every day of my life, you could bet I wouldn't be going to the festival. But as it stands, that two-day festival is the only time and place I can get some of my favorite Greek foods without traveling far and wide. The waiting for it and thinking about it makes it so much more enjoyable when I actually get it. In my opinion, American society is WAYYYYYYY too addicted to instant gratification. I am a strong believer that there is something to be said for waiting. Waiting often makes you realize how much you do (or don't) really want something. It helps you savor life. If you are always jumping from one thing to the next, it makes it very difficult to really appreciate or enjoy anything. Also, when people don't wait they tend to do things that they later regret because they didn't stop to think about it. So next time you want to jump into something, maybe just wait and think a little.

People Of The World Unite

If there is one thing that really annoys me, it is people who are mean and rude for no good reason. Notice I said no "good" reason. They might have a reason, but it is usually not a good one. People of the world, why not make it a mission and a goal to be nice more often then not? Why not be helpful rather than hurtful? It is probably the easiest thing you could do to make the world a better place. You are still allowed to have your bad days when you just can't bring yourself to be nice, but unless your life is hell, you have no excuse. Even then, you don't have much of an excuse, because even if your life is hell, that is no reason to not try to uplift yourself and others.

The place where I work has a policy where the employees have to greet everyone that comes into the store. I have no problem with that, but I want to be genuine about it. If there is one thing I hate more than mean people, it is fake people. With mean people, at least you know where you stand. With fake people, you are manipulated, and I think that is much worse. This seems to happen more often with girls than with boys, so you can bet I experienced fakeness first hand many times. Who needs people who lie and manipulate? I, for one, try to clear them out of my life. I want to live in a positive way, and I want to be around people who feel the same.

That is all.

Room With A View

Ever since I can remember I have loved having a window in my house with a view. I am not one of those dark basement dwellers. I need light and something interesting to look at. Give me a good window and a comfortable spot in front of it and I can stay there for hours. Granted, I also like having a book or some sort of project to work on in front of the window, but the view itself can be quite entertaining.

The first good view I remember was from my room when I was about 9 or 10 years old. I had a room on the second story facing the back of the house, so I could see the backyard and far into the neighborhood. When my family moved from that house to Utah, I remember hoping so much for another room on the second story. It didn't really work out that way since my next room was in the basement. That room had two windows, but they looked out into window wells full of spiders and all kinds of creatures that you don't want to see. Subsequently, I spent a lot of time in the living room, where I could look out onto the street and see what was going on.

My last apartment had the best view out of the entire complex because it was on the second floor and right in the middle of everything. I miss it terribly now that I am in my current place. Now, my front room has those tall skinny windows from the 70's, and half of them are frosted. Even when you do crawl behind the couch and peek out, you only see the boring cul de sac that we live on. That doesn't stop Bear from finding things to bark at, however. I think she barked less as our last apartment simply because she could see more. For now I will live with my bad view, but the next place that I live better be making up for my suffering.

Addicted

Fall is approaching and with it comes whole new seasons of some of my favorite t.v. shows. I never wanted to be a t.v. junkie, but I somehow seem to have become just that. Not that watching t.v. is all I do, but I do watch far more than I would like. I would like to be one of those people whose life is so busy and full that they have no time for t.v. but I don't see that happening any time soon. I'm hooked. One of my favorite shows that just started up again is America's Next Top Model. Not only am I a t.v. junkie, but I am a sucker for reality shows. Mike can't stand ANTM and I can understand why. Even for me Tyra Banks is just a little too crazy and the girls on the show are just a little too obsessive over her and catty with each other. But I don't watch it because of that. I love the artistic side of the show - posing, lighting, hair and make-up. Everything that goes into a beautiful picture. It all appeals to the artist in me. Not that I am a great artist, but I still love art. I guess the creativity is also what appeals to me in other shows like interior decorating shows, cake decorating shows, and cooking shows. I hate to admit it, but Martha Stewart's show was one of my favorites back in the day. I think Martha Stewart is a little crazy too, but it seems like all the good t.v. personalities are.

However, I can't claim creativity for the reason I like all my t.v. shows. I also like the show Teen Mom, which really has nothing to do with creativity. That show appeals more to my desire to see how other people live. I think I have mentioned before that I am very interested in different lifestyles, and if I can't live them all at least I can watch other people live them. This may be rather nosy of me, but they are the ones who decided to put their lives on t.v. Wrong or right, I will probably be watching shows like Teen Mom and ANTM for a very long time.......unless my t.v. breaks.

There's No Place Like Home

As much as I like to travel, I have always been the sort of person who needs a place I can call home. As a kid, my family moved quite a bit because my dad was in the military, and while I loved all the places I experienced, I always felt happiest when my family was together at home. I have lived in Utah now for about 18 years, so I guess it is safe to say it is my home. I love Utah for it's beautiful places and family-friendly atmosphere. But I dislike it for all the restrictions on things like alcohol and strip clubs and the general intolerance of different people like gays. (Just if you're wondering, I think you can still have a family-friendly environment without such strict limits on alcohol and strip clubs.)

Sometimes I dream about moving away, but I know I would miss my family like crazy. When my brother moved away to for four years to go to college, it was really hard to deal with, even though he visited frequently. Now that all of my brothers are grown and married, it is a little easier because they all have their own lives and families. But family and home will always be important to me. I like to be in a place where I know the roads and where certain businesses are. I like having my family be just a phone call away. What else could you really ask for?

Up Close And In Person

I had a few extra minutes before work this morning, so I decided to browse for clothing online. It was a very unsatisfying experience, and that is something coming from someone addicted to clothes shopping. As popular as online shopping has become, I am fairly certain it will never replace actually going to the store. Online shopping may be good for price comparison or things that you have to buy but don't really car about. (That would be auto parts in my case.) But for almost anything else, you can't beat being in the the store. I love the atmosphere, seeing things in person, and especially touching them. Some online stores let you zoom in on the product to examine it in great detail, but somehow that is still not enough. Maybe this is a personal problem of someone who likes to shop, but I don't see real stores being replaced any time soon. Phew! I was worried there for a second.

Passion

I have always been envious of people who know exactly what they want. You know, the sort of people who say things like,"Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a firefighter." or "I always knew I wanted three kids." What bliss and simplicity it must be. For me, and probably for many people, finding out what you want to do with your life is half the battle. After that it is all downhill because you just have to do it. Sure, many things are very difficult to achieve, but if you have a true passion for it, you are rewarded greatly. If you don't know what your passion is, then you could waste years or even your whole life trying things that don't make you happy in the end. Of course it also helps if you have some sort of natural talent associated with your passion. If your passion is to be an artist but you are horrible at art, you may also waste much of your life being frustrated at not being able to realize your passion. So, I guess, more accurately, I envy people who have a passion AND a talent. But if you have ever been to any kind of church, they always tell you that being envious is bad. Envy supposedly corrupts the soul and wastes time as well. So, I should probably get to work finding a passion because that seems to be the better of the two time wasters.

Camping

As I said in my last blog, Mike and I went camping last weekend. It actually turned out to be really fun after Mike got over his initial reaction of "I'm never going camping again!" Granted, he said this shortly after we arrived at the campground.....in the dark......in the rain......without a coat.......without a tent. I may have had similar thoughts for a few moments. Fortunately, our friend showed up right about then with our tent. Then his truck promptly broke down, blocking the campground entrance. At least we had a tent. So Mike spent most of that night helping our friend out by driving on treacherous roads, in the dark, dodging cows, so that they could find a place to buy fluids that might fix the truck. Didn't work.

But really, after that first night I swear it was fun. Maybe not so much for our friend, Gil, who borrowed a tent that unfortunately looked like this -



I can't help but laugh every time I look at that. Later on, Gil borrowed a much better tent from our friend with the truck.



Of course, me and Mike's tent was the best. We were very cozy in there on our new air mattress, and we didn't mind the rain at all.



Bear enjoyed the trip almost too much. I don't think she sat still for more than 3 seconds aside from the time she was hunting squirrels. Apparently, squirrels rule the campground we stayed at, and they were very upset we were on their land. They had no fear of us or Bear and regularly came within feet to taunt us and throw pine cones. It took all that Bear had just to keep from chomping one of those little guys in half.




Even though it rained 90 percent of the time and we had to make several trips into town to get cell phone reception to make arraignments to get the truck towed, the whole trip was worth it for the stunning scenery.






Mike has already vowed to go back with everyone he knows and to make that campground our regular camping spot. I didn't disagree.

Maybe Just A Little

I know I have been majorly slacking on my blogging. I guess it comes from a combination of working at 4am, Mike smashing his foot and becoming incapacitated, and preparing to go camping.

Let's start with the 4am thing. I don't mind working at 4am. I like getting things done before all those bothersome customers start showing up. The problem is, contrary to some people's beliefs, there is more to life than work. If I only had to worry about work, 4am would be no problem. But this silly little thing called "life" gets in the way all the time. I have to go grocery shopping, or put gas in the car, or take Bear for a walk, or a million other little things. Then there are also the unexpected things like Mike injuring his foot. Now I can't bring him anywhere because he has a hard time walking and because the motorized chairs at Target don't go more than 3 feet before they run out of batteries. Also, it takes extra money to go to the doctor, just for her to tell you there isn't much she can do aside from prescribing Lortab which, when he takes it, subsequently makes your husband think he can perform in Riverdance because his foot doesn't hurt anymore.

The one thing that has kept me going through all this is that we are going camping today. It is a miracle I even got Mike to go since he doesn't like camping and we have never been camping together aside from that time we went to the cabin in Colorado. This time we will be staying a tent......we will see how that goes......
Now he is all excited about it, but we will see what happens after two days in the woods without electronics and......with BEARS.

Mike has me to do all of the actual planning. Here is the stuff I have gathered so far -



Mike thinks it is a lot of stuff, but if left to his devices, we would be eating uncooked hot dogs and using leaves as toilet paper. NO THANK YOU. I guess being the planner is the the price I pay for getting Mike to go camping. He thinks I do it because a like it. Well.....maybe just a little.

Precious Time

It seems to me that many people today are choosing to live a fantasy life rather than a real life. I think this comes, at least partially, from boredom. Gone are the days when we had to fight to make a living or even stay alive. Long hours working on the farm are replaced by long hours of nothing to do. All the necessities for life - food, clothing, shelter - come so easily to us now. If anything, survival is much more psychological these days. We have to think about how to make money and how to avoid debt. But we also have to fill the time where we are not thinking about survival. That's where video games and movies come in. Whereas our ancestors had little time to spare when they were not working to survive, we have days and even years of idle time to fill. What to do with all this time? Many people who are not satisfied with their "real" life turn to video games or movies to fulfill their fantasies. Instead of actually doing something with their lives, it is like they are just keeping themselves entertained until they die. Is our goal in life to be entertained or to make a difference? I am not trying to place blame on anyone. I am as bad as the next person when it comes to idling away my life. I would rather like to issue a friendly warning to myself and everyone to not take life for granted. Really think about how you use your time. Try not to waste it, because it is a precious thing that is gone all too fast.

Stubborn

Bear can be a very stubborn dog when she wants to be. Here she is waiting for Mike to get out of the shower. I know she likes Mike more than me because she never waits for ME to get out of the shower. She also gets WAYYYY more excited when Mike walks in the front door than when I walk in the door. Sometimes she doesn't get excited at all when I come in the door. She goes straight to her bed and lays down and looks at me like she has done something very bad. You would think I beat her or something. Mike says I should be glad she doesn't jump up on me when I get home because her claws are very rough on the stomach. But if clawing someone in the stomach isn't love, I don't know what is.

Lately, Bear has taken to not performing her morning duty. When we take her outside first thing in the morning and tell her to go potty, she almost immediately lies down in the grass. It is like she is saying, "This 'going potty' is way too much effort for me." Quite possibly she does this on purpose so that we have to continually take her out throughout the day.....and because she knows it really annoys us. Here is Bear when I told her to go potty -



But in the end she always wins because who couldn't love a face like this?

Farmer's Market, Food Network, And Fries

As I may have mentioned, last Saturday was Mike and I's second wedding anniversary. We decided to go to Salt Lake for the afternoon, since we have already explored every nook and cranny of Ogden. Our original plan was to stop by a certain book store that we both like and then get lunch at a place that we saw on Food Network. So easily influenced by t.v. are we. So we headed out to the book store without any address because Mike "knows where it is". Well, after driving around Salt Lake for what seemed like a long time, and becoming increasingly frustrated, we couldn't find the book store. Someday, Mike might decide to look up the address even if he "knows where it is". Even though we couldn't find the book store, luck was on our side, because in all our driving we drove right past the SLC Farmer's Market, and we were like, "Let's go there!" We finally found parking in a lot with a very unusual payment system. Basically, you shove $3 into a slot that has the number of your parking space on it. Neither Mike nor I knew how they would tell if we didn't pay, but being the wimps that we were, we paid anyway.

The farmer's market was enjoyable if not for the VERY hot weather. It probably wasn't too hot in some people's books, but I felt melted by the end of it. After the farmer's market we got back in the car to find the place that we saw on the Food Network. Unlike Mike, I had printed out an address and map for the place. However, after several minutes of driving around in our car, which, by the way, has very poor air conditioning, we realized that the restaurant we were looking for was directly across the street from the farmer's market. Ok, so maybe having a map isn't always helpful. But at least we found it. I'm glad we did find it, because this place has the most amazing homemade waffles and fries you have ever had. Mike ordered a large fry which should be called a "So you think you can eat this gigantic serving of fries by yourself?" Even though I had a waffle with delicious sliced peachs on top, I also ate a fair amount of Mike's fries, and we still couldn't finish them. But ohhhhhh were they good! They were so good, it almost made me not mind that my hair got incredibly tangled on the way home because we had to drive with all the windows down due to the impotent air conditioning.

Going The Way Of The Dinosaur

I really thought I wouldn't have time to write today with it being my second wedding anniversary and all. But my brain decided it would be fun to wake up at 7AM, so here I am waiting for Mike to wake up.

When I was younger I never thought I would live to see things become obsolete, but I was wrong in a big way. Things become obsolete so fast now you can barely get them home from the store before they become obsolete. Think your cell phone is the greatest thing ever? Not five minutes from now. There will be something newer and better by then. When I was a kid we didn't even have cell phones. GASP! I know. I figured I would never utter the phrase "When I was a kid...." or at least not until I was much older. But seriously, when I was a kid, I loved going to the video rental store to rent a VHS movie. Don't forget to rewind it when it's over! There are still a few video rental stores, but they a quickly going the way of the dinosaur. Now you can order a movie online and watch it without ever stepping foot outside your house or handling any sort of DVD or VHS. I admit that is pretty amazing, but it also cuts out a lot of contact with the outside world. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be shut up in my house my whole life. I want to see the world first hand, not in a travel show.

Another thing I remember as a kid is cassette tapes. CDs came around when I was still a kid, but I remember thinking, "CDs will never replace cassette tapes. We will just have both now." It didn't quite work out that way. Now, CDs are almost old fashioned. You can download music directly to your I-pod without ever seeing a CD. Excuse me for sometimes wanting to deal in more concrete terms. Everything is floating around on the internet, but where does it come from? What is it exactly? For example, is my bank account just and "idea" since I rarely see the cash? Yet ideas can get you in big trouble like, if you overdraw from your bank account. You may have never seen the cash, but now you owe an overdraft fee. Music and movies are the same way. They don't just come out of thin air. People make them using a lot of time and effort. I think many people that buy movies on the internet have no respect for how much work it took to make that movie because it is so easy to get. Movies are a dime a dozen now and are treated as such.

Anyway, I know when I am ranting, so I will just stop right now. Hopefully there will be many fun, concrete anniversary experiences today!

Pardon My Dust

In the past four years since I have lived with Mike and Bear I have seen more dust than I have seen in my entire life. I'm guessing most of it comes from Bear since she can shed insane amounts of hair, she probably also sheds skin cells, which, if you didn't know, makes up most of all dust. (Sorry if I ruined your illusion that dust comes from fairies.) Then again, the amount of dust in our house is so great, I don't know if any one living being is capable of producing that much dust. Just the other day I cleaned out the bathroom ceiling fan which was COMPLETELY CLOGGED WITH DUST. I had no idea that was even possible! It's FAN! It's supposed to blow dust away! What kind of sick, superhuman dust is this?

To keep up with all the dust and shedding, I try to vacuum at least once a week. I am one of those weird people who actually don't mind vacuuming. It sucks away the dirt to an undisclosed location, and then I can rest at ease. However, I have several problems with my current vacuuming situation. First of all, the power switch to my vacuum broke long ago, and since I couldn't afford a new one I brought it to my dad who "fixed" it by placing the power switch in the "on" position permanently. This means that my vacuum turns on as soon as I plug it in and stays on until I unplug it. That wouldn't be too much of a problem, except for my second issue. Whoever designed the placement of the electrical outlets in my duplex obviously was three-years-old. All of the outlets are in very inconvenient locations and half of them don't work or have to be turned on by means of a switch on the other side of the room. Thus, vacuuming becomes a full-fledged work out as I scale furniture and run from room to room to plug/unplug the vacuum. Finally, my vacuum has a feature where it filters the air in the room as you vacuum, which is wonderful! That is, unless the thing you are vacuuming the most is dog hair. Then the vacuum spreads the lovely "Odor 'O Dog" throughout your house. Oh well. I suppose I will be vacuuming dog hair as long as I love Bear, and that is forever.

It's Curtains For You

Yesterday I suddenly decided that I wanted curtains for the living room. Well, maybe I didn't suddenly decide. There are many things I would love to do to improve my poor little duplex. But, being a renter, I really wish to save my money to put into a house of my own. Curtains are something I can take with me when I leave this place. Also, the vertical blinds that were there before were testing Bear's patience. Every time the wind blew through the window, the blinds would hit each other making a clicking noise. Bear is so afraid of this noise, or perhaps wind in general, that she will hide as far away from the blinds as possible. So I basically put up curtains to give Bear some peace of mind.

Buying the curtains and the rod was the easy part. Putting them up was something else entirely. You would think putting up curtains would take maybe five minutes. Well, that's not the case when you have no tools and you have to borrow a drill from your dad. Then your dad gives you a 20 minute lecture on how to install a curtain rod, complete with pictures. Never mind that you already know how to install a curtain rod. Oh how I long for my own tools! Right now my tool collection consists of a free screw driver from Wal-mart that had an unnatural odor about it when I got it, a pair of pliers, a tiny tape measure that only goes up to 60 inches, and a hammer that I have borrowed from my dad indefinitely. (Shhhhh! Don't tell him I have it.) Such a pathetic collection of tools. Anyway, it probably took me over an hour to finally get the curtains up. It was then that I discovered they were too long. *sigh* Luckily, the curtains came with some iron-on adhesive to shorten the curtains. So I spent another hour measuring and ironing. *double sigh*

The positive side to all of this is the final result. I couldn't be more happy with how they look. Yes they are plain and white, but I love them for their simplicity. They soften the room and keep out just enough sunlight. The very best part is, when the wind blows, there is nothing but sweet, sweet silence.