Yesterday, my mom would have been 61 years old. Sadly, she only made it just shy of her 48th birthday before passing away from breast cancer. I think the hardest part about losing someone you love is not missing them, but wondering how life could have been if they were still here. Would I go out to lunch with my mom? Would she give me advice? Would she tell me more about her past? Would she be proud of me on my wedding day? How would she interact with her grandchildren? Would she have traveled with my dad? Those questions can never be answered now, even though I have a pretty good idea what the answers would be. Still, wondering what life would be like with her today still gets to me sometimes. A mother is a very hard thing to go without.
I guess the only thing you can do when you lose someone is go on living and remember the ways they changed your life. My mom gave me her love of reading and writing, music and nature. She also gave me her taste for cucumbers and vinegar and her big teeth and round face. But most of all, she gave me life and a wonderful mother for 15 years.
This is one of my favorite pictures of my mom just because she looks so happy. I like to think of her as a young women, before life got difficult. I like to think that wherever she is now, this is how she looks - peaceful and happy.
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