Obviously I have been severely neglecting my blog for some time, but that is only because I find it hard to type or even think while I am coughing my lungs out and spraying snot at the computer. Yes, I have a cold. But not just any cold. This is the Mother of All Colds. This is the cold that gave birth to every flimsy baby cold out there. I have literally barely been able to function for the past week. The only thing that gives me any solace is when the time comes that I can take more medicine. That is what I live for at the moment. Oh sweet drugs, take me away!
I finally relented and called into work and went to the doctor today. For those of you who know me, it is a REALLY BIG DEAL when I call into work. I never call into work. Even last Friday, which happened to be the biggest shopping day of the year, I worked 10 full hours. How I survived, I will never know. The doctor prescribed antibiotics and a cough medicine that as I speak is blowing my mind. WHOA MAN! Hopefully this blog will make sense when I go back and read it later.
As I sat at Wal-mart today and waited for my prescription to be filled, I watched all the young mothers shopping with their children, and I longed to be them. I wanted to be them not because there was anything particularly amazing about them, but because their hair was done, they didn't have snot dripping from their noses, and they weren't coughing their brains out every two seconds. So here is hoping for an end to this misery and a return to a normal, unspectacular life.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
I Think I Can
Tomorrow I go to the dentist. I can't say I am looking forward to it except for the possibility of getting a clean bill of teeth health. When I was a kid, I was as obsessive about my teeth as I was in many areas of my life. Not brushing at least twice a day was never an option, and at one point I would brush after EVERY, SINGLE, THING I ATE. When I got braces, it got even worse because I had to follow the doctor's orders to the T. No hard foods. No sticky foods. Floss every night using the annoying floss-threader-thingy to thread the floss between your braces. Oh the time I wasted! On second thought, it wasn't all for nothing. I didn't ever get a cavity until I was 20-years-old, and I have some pretty fabulous teeth if I do say so myself. I have lightened up slightly on the whole brushing thing, but I still have a hard time if I ever go a day without it.
I know some people are absolutely terrified of the dentist. While the dentist can be a scary place for me, I look at a dentist visit as a challenge. Can I get a shot in my mouth and be OK? Can I put up with the pain of cold water on my sensitive teeth? Can I survive this appointment? I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. This attitude has lead me to many successful appointments. When I got my wisdom teeth removed, I survived, even though I was literally trembling in the dentist chair. Now I feel stronger and braver every time I go to the dentist.
I know some people are absolutely terrified of the dentist. While the dentist can be a scary place for me, I look at a dentist visit as a challenge. Can I get a shot in my mouth and be OK? Can I put up with the pain of cold water on my sensitive teeth? Can I survive this appointment? I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. This attitude has lead me to many successful appointments. When I got my wisdom teeth removed, I survived, even though I was literally trembling in the dentist chair. Now I feel stronger and braver every time I go to the dentist.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Don't Worry, Be Happy
As the weather gets colder and the days get shorter, many people start to get a little depressed. Depression that comes during different seasons (most often winter) is an actual disorder called Seasonal affective disorder (SAD). The fact that I think it is funny that the acronym spells "SAD" should be proof enough that I am not depressed at the moment. Yet, I am not ignorant of how dangerous depression can be. It can make your life a living hell, and I feel lucky to have only experienced it to a small degree in my life. I say "a small degree" because I have never been depressed enough to consider suicide, and I have never felt like I needed therapy or medication. I have learned quite a bit about depression in my 29 years, and I know what to do when I start to feel a little down. First of all, you have to stay active and not isolate yourself. Exercise is great for banishing depression, as is being around people who love and support you. Sometimes just getting out of bed when all you want to do is lay there is enough to jump-start your happiness. Writing and music are also very effective at fighting depression. When I feel down, I can listen to a song or write in my journal and feel much better, if not 100 percent better, afterwards. Being in the sunlight is another thing that can help with depression. It may sound silly, but lack of sunlight is one of the reasons people get more depressed in the winter.
Although I am pretty good at controlling my occasional depression, I know there are many people out there who need medication to help with depression. While I don't have anything against the people who do use medication, I personally hope to never have to use it. I just believe a lot can go wrong when you start messing with the mind. Side effects can sometimes be almost as bad, if not worse, than the actual disease and I think many people jump to medication as a "quick fix" too soon. For me, medication is a very very very last resort. It is for when I feel like I can't endure another second of my life, and for people who feel that way, I say 'go for it' if medication makes you feel like you have a life again. I will deal with depression when it comes, but for now I am always hoping for a deliriously happy life.
Although I am pretty good at controlling my occasional depression, I know there are many people out there who need medication to help with depression. While I don't have anything against the people who do use medication, I personally hope to never have to use it. I just believe a lot can go wrong when you start messing with the mind. Side effects can sometimes be almost as bad, if not worse, than the actual disease and I think many people jump to medication as a "quick fix" too soon. For me, medication is a very very very last resort. It is for when I feel like I can't endure another second of my life, and for people who feel that way, I say 'go for it' if medication makes you feel like you have a life again. I will deal with depression when it comes, but for now I am always hoping for a deliriously happy life.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Unsolicited Leaves
Today was my day off work, so I decided to rake the leaves in our yard. I don't mind raking, but the part I do mind is bagging and or putting the leaves in the trash can. That requires a lot of bending and awkwardness trying to keep the bag open and trying to smash as many leaves as humanly possible into one bag. It also requires touching a lot of leaves which may or may not have dog poop mixed in. So I decided to skip the bagging process and just put the leaves directly into our giant garbage bin. However, the bin turned out to be not so giant, so I was only able to complete half of the yard. That works for me since I could put off doing the area that usually includes the dog poop. Here is the yard before I raked -
Notice one tree is already void of any leaves. That is not because it is a good tree and lost all its leaves before I raked. That is because it is dead. Never would I rejoice a dead tree other than this occasion because it means less leaves for me to pick up. In fact, most of the leaves in our yard came form the next-door-neighbor's tree. This is frustrating, but you can't very well go next door and say, "Could you kindly collect your leaves from my yard?" This is especially true since the people next door are about 100 years old and I think they are vampires because I never see them outside except for in the very early morning when the sun has not completely risen. They use a lawn care service for their lawn, so their side always looks completely spotless while our side is covered with THEIR leaves. Whatever. Someday I too will be a yard-service-hiring-vampire.
Notice one tree is already void of any leaves. That is not because it is a good tree and lost all its leaves before I raked. That is because it is dead. Never would I rejoice a dead tree other than this occasion because it means less leaves for me to pick up. In fact, most of the leaves in our yard came form the next-door-neighbor's tree. This is frustrating, but you can't very well go next door and say, "Could you kindly collect your leaves from my yard?" This is especially true since the people next door are about 100 years old and I think they are vampires because I never see them outside except for in the very early morning when the sun has not completely risen. They use a lawn care service for their lawn, so their side always looks completely spotless while our side is covered with THEIR leaves. Whatever. Someday I too will be a yard-service-hiring-vampire.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Heaven and Hell
I have long been confused by the idea of heaven. Sure, everyone wants to believe in heaven. What else is there other than hell? But what is heaven, really? A place where everyone is perfect and happy all the time? But doesn't that sound absolutely, well, BORING? The first rule to writing a good story is, you have to include conflict. Some sort of problem to solve. Something to figure out. Without that, your story is boring and pointless. Humans are inquisitive creatures by nature. But what does that mean if they are put in a place where nothing bad happens and they already know the answers to EVERYTHING? No more science. No more discovery. No more problems to figure out. No more life......
I have thought that maybe reincarnation is the solution to the heaven problem. But it is really just the same problem. Reincarnation is just another way of saying you live forever, and if anyone lives long enough they are bound to discover everything, therefore becoming bored with life. Even if you forget everything from your past lives, who wants to be stuck in an endless circle of being born and dying and having to learn everything all over when you are born again?
I am far from having any of the answers to life. These are just some of the things I think about from time to time. If anyone has the answers, let me know.
I have thought that maybe reincarnation is the solution to the heaven problem. But it is really just the same problem. Reincarnation is just another way of saying you live forever, and if anyone lives long enough they are bound to discover everything, therefore becoming bored with life. Even if you forget everything from your past lives, who wants to be stuck in an endless circle of being born and dying and having to learn everything all over when you are born again?
I am far from having any of the answers to life. These are just some of the things I think about from time to time. If anyone has the answers, let me know.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Registration Nightmare
Can I just take a moment to talk about how much I hate registering my car? Every year I just dread doing it almost as much as I dread ever going to the doctor. I think the reason I dread both of these things is because it is almost never good news. When I get my safety and emissions inspection done, I am always waiting with baited breath for the bad news.
You need new windshield wipers.
You have a leaky hose.
Your tires need to be replaced.
You might as well just scrap the whole car.
I know it is important to keep your car in good working condition, and the same goes for your body. But much of the time I want to live in ignorant bliss, because, really, I almost never have the money to fix these problems. Who has thousands of dollars laying around for just such an occasion? Not me, and if you answered 'yes' to that question, please be so kind as to send some of that money my way.
Even after you get your car all fixed up to pass inspection, you still have to pay to get it registered. As if it doesn't already cost enough to own and maintain a car, you have to pay for......what? What are you paying for when you register? The privilege to say you own a car? I thought that's what my loan payment was for. If you ask me, registration should be FREE or at least very low cost. Like $10 low. Maybe if someone explained to me where the money was going I would be less angry about paying for nothing. But for now......ROBIN ANGRY!!!!!!!
You need new windshield wipers.
You have a leaky hose.
Your tires need to be replaced.
You might as well just scrap the whole car.
I know it is important to keep your car in good working condition, and the same goes for your body. But much of the time I want to live in ignorant bliss, because, really, I almost never have the money to fix these problems. Who has thousands of dollars laying around for just such an occasion? Not me, and if you answered 'yes' to that question, please be so kind as to send some of that money my way.
Even after you get your car all fixed up to pass inspection, you still have to pay to get it registered. As if it doesn't already cost enough to own and maintain a car, you have to pay for......what? What are you paying for when you register? The privilege to say you own a car? I thought that's what my loan payment was for. If you ask me, registration should be FREE or at least very low cost. Like $10 low. Maybe if someone explained to me where the money was going I would be less angry about paying for nothing. But for now......ROBIN ANGRY!!!!!!!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Discovery of Music
The holiday season is here, which means more time at work for me and less blog for you. It's not that I don't want to blog, but by the end of a long day, I usually don't have much brainpower left to think of something to write. So bare with me as I try to navigate this holiday season without going insane.
As a child, I really didn't know of any kind of music other than classical, musicals, or Disney music. That was all we listened to in my family. On long family car rides we would listen to things like "Cats" or "Phantom of the Opera" or "Beauty and the Beast". I don't have any regrets being raised this way other than I wish I could have been a little more informed as to the existence of other music styles. When my friends would talk about "New Kids on the Block", I literally had no idea what they were talking about. I just thought maybe there were some new kids living on our block.
By my early teen years I finally began to discover other music styles. C.D.s were just coming out at that time and my older brother would let me borrow his C.D.s like The Fresh Prince, Weird Al, and The Red Hot Chili Peppers. That last one is what really got me hooked on different music styles. Once I heard "Under the Bridge" there was no going back, and it is still my favorite song to this day.
Today I am proud to say I am a lover of all musical styles. There is no kind of music I won't try and very few I really dislike. I have written before about disliking modern music, and that is true only because I feel there is no real meaning or passion behind most of it. It is just created to make money and show off. I love music that can tug on your emotions or that amazes me with its complexities. There is already so much amazing music out there that it wouldn't bother me if no new music was ever written again. I could listen to what there already is for a lifetime.
As a child, I really didn't know of any kind of music other than classical, musicals, or Disney music. That was all we listened to in my family. On long family car rides we would listen to things like "Cats" or "Phantom of the Opera" or "Beauty and the Beast". I don't have any regrets being raised this way other than I wish I could have been a little more informed as to the existence of other music styles. When my friends would talk about "New Kids on the Block", I literally had no idea what they were talking about. I just thought maybe there were some new kids living on our block.
By my early teen years I finally began to discover other music styles. C.D.s were just coming out at that time and my older brother would let me borrow his C.D.s like The Fresh Prince, Weird Al, and The Red Hot Chili Peppers. That last one is what really got me hooked on different music styles. Once I heard "Under the Bridge" there was no going back, and it is still my favorite song to this day.
Today I am proud to say I am a lover of all musical styles. There is no kind of music I won't try and very few I really dislike. I have written before about disliking modern music, and that is true only because I feel there is no real meaning or passion behind most of it. It is just created to make money and show off. I love music that can tug on your emotions or that amazes me with its complexities. There is already so much amazing music out there that it wouldn't bother me if no new music was ever written again. I could listen to what there already is for a lifetime.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Self Analysis
I have often heard people describe themselves as left-brained or right-brained. In my case, I have always thought of myself as a mix of both. My suspicions were confirmed when I took this quiz and got this result -
The same on both sides! Can you believe it?! I know this quiz is probably not entirely scientifically accurate, but it does give some insight.
On the left side I can be very logical and rational. On the right side, I also love art and being creative. If I were totally honest with myself, I would probably say I am slightly more left-brained, just because I like organization so much. But I don't want to be honest with myself at the moment. I want to think I have the best of both worlds!
I also took another quiz, recently, that calculated my Autism Spectrum Quotient. That means it calculated my tendency toward Autism such as Asperger Syndrome. Well I scored 30 which is very high considering the average score for women is 15. Most people with Asperger Syndrome score 35 or higher. So yeah.....I am right up there. The results really didn't surprise me. I have long suspected that I am border-line autistic. It comes off as shyness, but it's nice to know that it may be an actual medical condition rather than something I can just "get over". Not that it makes much of a difference to me what my diagnosis may be. I am what I am, and I don't think there is any diagnosis or therapy or prescription that can change that. Besides, I am pretty happy with the way I am.
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(16)The same on both sides! Can you believe it?! I know this quiz is probably not entirely scientifically accurate, but it does give some insight.
On the left side I can be very logical and rational. On the right side, I also love art and being creative. If I were totally honest with myself, I would probably say I am slightly more left-brained, just because I like organization so much. But I don't want to be honest with myself at the moment. I want to think I have the best of both worlds!
I also took another quiz, recently, that calculated my Autism Spectrum Quotient. That means it calculated my tendency toward Autism such as Asperger Syndrome. Well I scored 30 which is very high considering the average score for women is 15. Most people with Asperger Syndrome score 35 or higher. So yeah.....I am right up there. The results really didn't surprise me. I have long suspected that I am border-line autistic. It comes off as shyness, but it's nice to know that it may be an actual medical condition rather than something I can just "get over". Not that it makes much of a difference to me what my diagnosis may be. I am what I am, and I don't think there is any diagnosis or therapy or prescription that can change that. Besides, I am pretty happy with the way I am.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Headless Love
Recently, Bear did this to her toy -
It used to be a turtle, and, believe it or not, it was actually pretty cute before she savagely ripped the head off. I think she actually thinks she is killing something because she shakes her toys violently and once they rip open she spends her time pulling the fluff out as if it was guts. I promise she is really a very nice dog, although all the dog haters out there are sure to not take my word for it. Honestly, I think she just gets bored. What would you do if you were locked in a house with nothing to do for several hours? You would probably start ripping things apart too. I just feel lucky that Bear is not one of those dogs who destroy the entire house while you are gone. If a new toy to rip apart every so often keeps her happy, then I'm all about it. Besides, she loves her headless turtle -
It used to be a turtle, and, believe it or not, it was actually pretty cute before she savagely ripped the head off. I think she actually thinks she is killing something because she shakes her toys violently and once they rip open she spends her time pulling the fluff out as if it was guts. I promise she is really a very nice dog, although all the dog haters out there are sure to not take my word for it. Honestly, I think she just gets bored. What would you do if you were locked in a house with nothing to do for several hours? You would probably start ripping things apart too. I just feel lucky that Bear is not one of those dogs who destroy the entire house while you are gone. If a new toy to rip apart every so often keeps her happy, then I'm all about it. Besides, she loves her headless turtle -
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