Friday, March 21, 2014

Being Myself

Look at me flexing my writing muscles and writing more than once in a month! At least I am trying, hey?

When I was younger, I felt like it was was very hard to be myself. Not that I truly knew who I was because most young people are still discovering who they are and trying a lot of different things to get there. But I felt a lot of restrictions growing up - restrictions from my family, restrictions from religion, restrictions from myself. I was afraid to try something different because I was afraid to venture out into unknown territory, beyond what I knew I was comfortable with. Then, in my early twenties, certain events in my life almost forced me to leave that comfort zone. It was scary at first, as any change is. However, with time, I enjoyed my new freedom more and more as I started to make wonderful discoveries about myself and about life.

I feel very lucky that that I went through this transition, even though it was a struggle at times. I am grateful because I think many people never get to experience that freedom. They go their whole lives feeling stifled by social pressures that tell them they must be a certain way, and sometimes they don't even realize it. Sometimes the pain of breaking free is more than a person can take, and it is definitely harder for someone who grows up with more of that pressure on them. The security of conformity disguises itself as happiness. I don't blame these people. I only feel sorry for them and wish for them to find a way to find their true selves and true happiness.

All of this is not to say that I am a perfect person who has found the perfect road to happiness. I still conform in a lot of ways and feel pressure to "fit in". I don't always know what it right or what I should be. But I also feel a lot of joy and freedom that I never knew in my younger years. I feel freer to try new things, to think a different way, to speak my mind, and to do what I want to do. I would not trade any of that for the world.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Second Chances

So I guess having more time to blog didn't turn into more blogging. I have a hard time coming up with acceptable topics to write about. When I have time to write and a topic doesn't come to mind easily, I tend to move on to other things. Hopefully I can find a way to brainstorm better topics, or this blog will get really sparse really fast.

Over my lifetime, I have become well aware that I don't always give off a great impression. Frequently, when I wish to speak my mind, the words come out much differently than I imagined in my mind, and I come off sounding stupid or uneducated. For this reason, I have learned to keep my mouth shut in the vast majority of social situations. As the saying goes, "Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt."

I am also human, and therefore prone to error. I have made plenty of mistakes in my life, including everything from saying something rude or hurtful, to making poor decisions, to being ignorant. Once again, I have learned to keep most of my actions private, since the judgement of others can often be more harsh than I can handle.

All of this is to say that when you are judging others, perhaps it is a good policy to look past fist impressions and mistakes. People are never perfect, so you may miss out on a great friend by judging too harshly. I have known plenty of people who are awkward or who have done and said things I don't agree with. I try not to think less of these people, but rather to inspect their motives and reasoning. Very seldom do I conclude that their actions come from a mean or evil place. They are just imperfect people, just like me, trying to make their way through life as best they can.

Even when I don't like a person right away, I usually give them many chances to show their true character. Sometimes, the process of understanding and getting-to-know someone can even last a lifetime. It could be said then, that the only real mistake and ignorance is to close yourself off to someone once you believe them to be a bad person. Keep yourself open, and there is no limits to the ways you can learn and grow from others.