Hi! Remember me? I'm the person who writes this blog. I know it's been a while, but lately I have been adverse to most things "computer". It's not because I have renounced technology or anything like that. I'm just tired of changing passwords. You see, over about the past month, someone has been hacking my computer accounts on a regular basis and changing my passwords. In fact, it may not even be me writing this blog. How can you know? Maybe I am someone with an evil plot to take over the world through the blog of Robin Berube!
But seriously, what are these hackers trying to accomplish? So far, they have only managed to post one spam ad on my Facebook account and to annoy the crap out of me. I have changed my passwords a dozen times, upped my security features, had Mike run several virus scans. All to little avail. So you can see why it has been easier for me to avoid technology altogether. Maybe I am letting the terrorists win, but my will is weak. I wasn't made for fighting cyber wars. I may have a chance at a war of words or even possibly a physical fight. But computers confound me for the most part, and this one even has my two "Michael" computer geeks stumped. (That's my husband and my brother, if you didn't know.)
I was never a huge advocate of privacy, because I never really had much to hide. I thought of privacy as personal secrets about your sex life or what I write in my journal. But this whole hacker situation has me thinking of privacy in a whole new way. Now I am scared that someone can access my bank account or use my credit card. I'm worried about someone using my private information to cause a lot of trouble for me. And for what? I'm not rich person. I don't have much to take. Yet there are people out there who will kick someone who is already down.
So if you are a cyber criminal and you happen to read this blog, think for a second about the people you are hurting with your crimes. They are people who probably don't have much and who would still probably help you out if you needed it. They are people who work hard for what little they have, and don't deserve to have it taken away. They are people who have enough problems in their lives already. It makes me very sad to think that these kind of people are being preyed upon. But if you decide, even after my little speech, that you still want to hack into my accounts. At least write a good blog.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
The Good And Bad
Even though I don't find much time to blog anymore, I think it's nice when I can do it because it's a bit of a creative outlet. Even if no one reads it, I find it relaxing. So here is my therapy for the evening.
Much has happened since my last post. I had my 31st birthday. Halloween came and went. We had another presidential election. All of those things had good and bad that came with them.
The good of my birthday was that Mike treated me to an amazing dinner at a fondue restaurant called The Melting Pot. It was a full four course meal that truly had everything I could want. It was a wonderful night out, mostly because I got to spend it with the love of my life. The bad of my birthday is that my family is really lame when it comes to birthdays. I barely get any recognition from most of them. Also, getting older is never, fun. But I have learned that life is what you make it, so I try to stay positive about both of those things. Getting older comes with wisdom and, hopefully, respect. Having a less-than-perfect family teaches you to appreciate what you do have.
Halloween was a bit of a bust. The good part was that Mike came up with an awesome Amish costume. I would post pictures, but the pictures are on the other computer, and I am too tired at the moment to figure out how to transfer them. It was also cool that I got to carve a pumpkin that looked like Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas, and paint another pumpkin white, with sparkly red designs. The bad part with Halloween was that I was going to paint my face like a Day of the Dead skull, but I couldn't perfect my technique enough to want to show it off. We didn't have any Halloween parties to go to anyway. Also, hardly any trick-or-treaters came to our new house. Oh well. That's just less candy we have to buy next year.
Just a few days ago we had the presidential election, and Obama won! Obviously, the good part of that for me is that I wanted Obama to win. The bad part, however, is almost overwhelming anything good. The bad part is that there was so much anger and hate during the election, that it made me loose a little more faith in people. I don't know what it is that made this election such a hot debate. Maybe it is the increasingly precarious state of our country. Everyone seems so upset about what the president did or didn't do. What they don't seem to understand is that the president has little to do with the actual state of our country. WE created this nation, and WE make up this nation. WE are as much to blame as the president for anything we don't like. I don't expect anyone to understand this concept, since people seem much more willing to place the blame than to accept responsibility. But at least I put my two cents in. I just wish there could be less hate in the world. When you start to have anger toward the president, just remember that he wants the best for this country. I don't think he would want to hurt anyone on purpose. If you think you can you can do a better job, go ahead and do it.
This post is getting lengthy, and it is getting late. So I will close with this thought - There is good and bad in every part of life. Focus on the good and you will be richer for it.
Much has happened since my last post. I had my 31st birthday. Halloween came and went. We had another presidential election. All of those things had good and bad that came with them.
The good of my birthday was that Mike treated me to an amazing dinner at a fondue restaurant called The Melting Pot. It was a full four course meal that truly had everything I could want. It was a wonderful night out, mostly because I got to spend it with the love of my life. The bad of my birthday is that my family is really lame when it comes to birthdays. I barely get any recognition from most of them. Also, getting older is never, fun. But I have learned that life is what you make it, so I try to stay positive about both of those things. Getting older comes with wisdom and, hopefully, respect. Having a less-than-perfect family teaches you to appreciate what you do have.
Halloween was a bit of a bust. The good part was that Mike came up with an awesome Amish costume. I would post pictures, but the pictures are on the other computer, and I am too tired at the moment to figure out how to transfer them. It was also cool that I got to carve a pumpkin that looked like Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas, and paint another pumpkin white, with sparkly red designs. The bad part with Halloween was that I was going to paint my face like a Day of the Dead skull, but I couldn't perfect my technique enough to want to show it off. We didn't have any Halloween parties to go to anyway. Also, hardly any trick-or-treaters came to our new house. Oh well. That's just less candy we have to buy next year.
Just a few days ago we had the presidential election, and Obama won! Obviously, the good part of that for me is that I wanted Obama to win. The bad part, however, is almost overwhelming anything good. The bad part is that there was so much anger and hate during the election, that it made me loose a little more faith in people. I don't know what it is that made this election such a hot debate. Maybe it is the increasingly precarious state of our country. Everyone seems so upset about what the president did or didn't do. What they don't seem to understand is that the president has little to do with the actual state of our country. WE created this nation, and WE make up this nation. WE are as much to blame as the president for anything we don't like. I don't expect anyone to understand this concept, since people seem much more willing to place the blame than to accept responsibility. But at least I put my two cents in. I just wish there could be less hate in the world. When you start to have anger toward the president, just remember that he wants the best for this country. I don't think he would want to hurt anyone on purpose. If you think you can you can do a better job, go ahead and do it.
This post is getting lengthy, and it is getting late. So I will close with this thought - There is good and bad in every part of life. Focus on the good and you will be richer for it.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Mo' Money Mo' Problems
I've been noticing how some people are very focused on getting more money. They are usually so focused that they will work way more than 40 hours a week to get that extra money. I think that's fine if you are really dedicated to your job or you are extremely poor and have to work that much to make ends meet. But I think there is a point at which more time spent with those you love or doing the things you love outweighs working overtime for a little extra cash.
I've had jobs where I was required to work overtime, and I will say there were many times I wanted to quit because I didn't need the extra money as much as I needed time with my family and friends.
I feel like people who already have a lot of money who work long hours, are missing the point of life. The goal in life should not be how much money you have and how many things you bought. It should be about your relationships and time spent doing things that make you happy.
Many people think buying things will make them happy, and I agree to a certain extent. If you want to work overtime so you can buy that one thing you have really been wanting, then go ahead. But if you make a habit of it, you run into a vicious cycle of always wanting more and needing more money to maintain what you already have. I would argue that you can be just as happy with your life with buying less things.
I know my words won't mean much to those who are already working themselves to death to maintain a lifestyle. But maybe I can make them think a little more about what they truly "need" and what is important in life.
I've had jobs where I was required to work overtime, and I will say there were many times I wanted to quit because I didn't need the extra money as much as I needed time with my family and friends.
I feel like people who already have a lot of money who work long hours, are missing the point of life. The goal in life should not be how much money you have and how many things you bought. It should be about your relationships and time spent doing things that make you happy.
Many people think buying things will make them happy, and I agree to a certain extent. If you want to work overtime so you can buy that one thing you have really been wanting, then go ahead. But if you make a habit of it, you run into a vicious cycle of always wanting more and needing more money to maintain what you already have. I would argue that you can be just as happy with your life with buying less things.
I know my words won't mean much to those who are already working themselves to death to maintain a lifestyle. But maybe I can make them think a little more about what they truly "need" and what is important in life.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Getting Risky
I really wish I was blogging more, but this full-time-job-business is just like it sounds. It takes most of your time. I do enjoy the paycheck, but sometimes I still wish for the days where I had oodles of free time. On the other hand, this is probably the best full-time job I have ever had. It isn't too hard or stressful and the pay is decent. So I really can't complain.
Last night I was reading Thinking Fast and Slow, (Yes I am STILL reading it. Work takes away from more than just blogging.) and I learned that most people weigh losses much more than gains. In other words, people will try much harder to avoid risk than to gain something. You may think this is a good thing because who wants to risk their health, life, or regret on something that could have been avoided? But the author suggests that it is more beneficial to balance risks with playing it safe. Yes, there is the chance you will regret your choice, but if the odds are in your favor, you should probably go for it. Otherwise, nothing will ever be gained.
The author calls avoiding risks the precautionary principle and he says,"when interpreted strictly, it can be paralyzing." He then goes on to list some things that would have never been invented if the precautionary principle was followed - airplanes, air conditioning, antibiotics, automobiles, chlorine, the measles vaccine, open-heart surgery, radio, refrigeration, smallpox vaccine, and X-rays. I think we can all agree these are some pretty great things that we wouldn't have if people had been "too careful".
The author says that being loss adverse is embedded in our subconscious. But I think there is hope for more people taking calculated risks because of all the wonderful inventions I just listed. You can overcome your avoidance of risk by remembering there is risk in every decision, and there will be always be some losses and some wins. It is how you look at these consequences that makes it easier to take risks. When you feel regret about a bad decision, just remember - without some risky behavior, little is accomplished.
I am probably the worst person to be giving advice about taking risks. I am as afraid of making a wrong choice as anyone. But if I can work on taking more risks, so can you. So get out there and get risky!
Last night I was reading Thinking Fast and Slow, (Yes I am STILL reading it. Work takes away from more than just blogging.) and I learned that most people weigh losses much more than gains. In other words, people will try much harder to avoid risk than to gain something. You may think this is a good thing because who wants to risk their health, life, or regret on something that could have been avoided? But the author suggests that it is more beneficial to balance risks with playing it safe. Yes, there is the chance you will regret your choice, but if the odds are in your favor, you should probably go for it. Otherwise, nothing will ever be gained.
The author calls avoiding risks the precautionary principle and he says,"when interpreted strictly, it can be paralyzing." He then goes on to list some things that would have never been invented if the precautionary principle was followed - airplanes, air conditioning, antibiotics, automobiles, chlorine, the measles vaccine, open-heart surgery, radio, refrigeration, smallpox vaccine, and X-rays. I think we can all agree these are some pretty great things that we wouldn't have if people had been "too careful".
The author says that being loss adverse is embedded in our subconscious. But I think there is hope for more people taking calculated risks because of all the wonderful inventions I just listed. You can overcome your avoidance of risk by remembering there is risk in every decision, and there will be always be some losses and some wins. It is how you look at these consequences that makes it easier to take risks. When you feel regret about a bad decision, just remember - without some risky behavior, little is accomplished.
I am probably the worst person to be giving advice about taking risks. I am as afraid of making a wrong choice as anyone. But if I can work on taking more risks, so can you. So get out there and get risky!
Friday, September 14, 2012
Rudeness
Please excuse me while I get something off my chest.
Is it just me, or is it incredibly rude to ignore a text from someone? I know not everyone is into the whole texting thing, and that is fine. But if I know you can and will text when you want to, and you don't respond within a few hours, then I will take it as a huge insult.
Why is it ok to totally ignore someone just because they are not talking to you in person? If some walked up to you and said,"Hi! How are you doing today?", would you feel perfectly comfortable pretending like you didn't even hear them? NO! So why is ok to do the same thing via text?
One of the great things about texting is convenience. If you are busy when you get a text, you can put it aside until you have time to text back. If you don't know what to say in response, you can think about for a while before you respond. When I send a text, I don't expect a response immediately. I give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and wait up to a full day for a response. But any longer than that, and you better have a pretty damn good excuse, like your phone blew up the moment you got my text, and it was impossible for you to get a new phone because you where lost in the Grand Canyon. Something like that. Even then, I might have an inkling that you are blowing me off.
So what can I do about other peoples' bad texting manners? Not much. But if I seem really annoyed with you next time we meet, try to remember if you ignored my text.
Is it just me, or is it incredibly rude to ignore a text from someone? I know not everyone is into the whole texting thing, and that is fine. But if I know you can and will text when you want to, and you don't respond within a few hours, then I will take it as a huge insult.
Why is it ok to totally ignore someone just because they are not talking to you in person? If some walked up to you and said,"Hi! How are you doing today?", would you feel perfectly comfortable pretending like you didn't even hear them? NO! So why is ok to do the same thing via text?
One of the great things about texting is convenience. If you are busy when you get a text, you can put it aside until you have time to text back. If you don't know what to say in response, you can think about for a while before you respond. When I send a text, I don't expect a response immediately. I give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and wait up to a full day for a response. But any longer than that, and you better have a pretty damn good excuse, like your phone blew up the moment you got my text, and it was impossible for you to get a new phone because you where lost in the Grand Canyon. Something like that. Even then, I might have an inkling that you are blowing me off.
So what can I do about other peoples' bad texting manners? Not much. But if I seem really annoyed with you next time we meet, try to remember if you ignored my text.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
In The Negative
I really feel bad for neglecting my blog, but maybe this way someone can stop by my blog and get a little surprise because I finally posted. We like surprises, right? I have been a little busy lately with the house, the new job, the dead yard, and whatnot. What? You have no idea what I am talking about? Oh, that's right! I haven't written about any of that! Silly me. Well, the house is fine, except for the window screen that Bear devoured so that she could jump through the window. I didn't know she had it in her, but apparently a second more than nine hours away from Mike and I is just too much for her to take. She had to jump out the window to get to us. Which brings me to the next topic - the new job.
I was hired where Mike works for a seasonal job checking tax forms. I can't say it's exciting, but since it is full-time, the pay is enough to excite me. If you want to know more about it, just imagine reading tax forms all day and looking for things like missing commas and periods. Are you asleep yet? WAKE UP! I do, however, like working in the same building as Mike and being able to go to lunch with him everyday. On the other hand, Bear does not like it at all. She is a bundle of nerves when we get home. I guess she doesn't appreciate us bring home the bacon. She would rather just spend time with us. What's that all about? Geez, you would think she loves us or something.
As for the yard, we received at notice from our city that we have 15 days to green it up or we get a $125 fine. Never mind that is was already dead when we moved in, and that we have no secondary water, and that we have more weeds than grass, and that it costs $50 just for a few bags of mulch. NEVER MIND ALL THAT! We will just wave our magic wands and make it beautiful! If that doesn't work, all we can do is hope the city will work with us. It is tricky knowing if they will, since almost every attempt we have made to contact them has been ignored. So here's to hoping that 15 days from now, we won't be $125 poorer. (Oh yeah, plus all the money we have to pay to fix up the yard and water it.) I guess I have already passed the $125 mark.
I was hired where Mike works for a seasonal job checking tax forms. I can't say it's exciting, but since it is full-time, the pay is enough to excite me. If you want to know more about it, just imagine reading tax forms all day and looking for things like missing commas and periods. Are you asleep yet? WAKE UP! I do, however, like working in the same building as Mike and being able to go to lunch with him everyday. On the other hand, Bear does not like it at all. She is a bundle of nerves when we get home. I guess she doesn't appreciate us bring home the bacon. She would rather just spend time with us. What's that all about? Geez, you would think she loves us or something.
As for the yard, we received at notice from our city that we have 15 days to green it up or we get a $125 fine. Never mind that is was already dead when we moved in, and that we have no secondary water, and that we have more weeds than grass, and that it costs $50 just for a few bags of mulch. NEVER MIND ALL THAT! We will just wave our magic wands and make it beautiful! If that doesn't work, all we can do is hope the city will work with us. It is tricky knowing if they will, since almost every attempt we have made to contact them has been ignored. So here's to hoping that 15 days from now, we won't be $125 poorer. (Oh yeah, plus all the money we have to pay to fix up the yard and water it.) I guess I have already passed the $125 mark.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Reasons
When I was growing up, I would always hear people giving reasons for why bad things happen to good people:
"That person died because God wanted to put him out of his suffering."
"That person died because God had a special plan for her."
"That person is disabled to help others appreciate not being disabled."
"I went through some hard financial times so I could learn to appreciate what I have."
"That person is terminally ill because God wanted to teach us to appreciate the time that we have on earth."
I have heard all of these phrases in some form or another over the years, and many other similar ones. I don't want to say I don't believe in God (although I don't accept his existence as readily as most people do). All I am saying is that people have no way of knowing these statements are true. They say things like this to make themselves feel better when they are going through hard times.
I have no problem with people thinking of reasons for their suffering, but I would also like them to realize that it is possible that there is no reason for their suffering. Most times, people don't want to admit that because it makes them feel worse. I understand that, believe me. But it seems crazy to me to believe anything you come up with as a hard and true fact. Some people are even willing to die for these ideas, even though they have nothing to show their truth.
I don't want to debate the whole "faith" issue because people get way too heated about it. I just want people to open their eyes to other possibilities. Is it possible you are wrong whether you think you are are not? Yes! But most people will never admit that, especially if they are very religious.
I know I am writing a loosing argument, so I will just say this - Think of reasons to ease your suffering if it makes you feel better, but leave a little room in your mind for other alternatives.
"That person died because God wanted to put him out of his suffering."
"That person died because God had a special plan for her."
"That person is disabled to help others appreciate not being disabled."
"I went through some hard financial times so I could learn to appreciate what I have."
"That person is terminally ill because God wanted to teach us to appreciate the time that we have on earth."
I have heard all of these phrases in some form or another over the years, and many other similar ones. I don't want to say I don't believe in God (although I don't accept his existence as readily as most people do). All I am saying is that people have no way of knowing these statements are true. They say things like this to make themselves feel better when they are going through hard times.
I have no problem with people thinking of reasons for their suffering, but I would also like them to realize that it is possible that there is no reason for their suffering. Most times, people don't want to admit that because it makes them feel worse. I understand that, believe me. But it seems crazy to me to believe anything you come up with as a hard and true fact. Some people are even willing to die for these ideas, even though they have nothing to show their truth.
I don't want to debate the whole "faith" issue because people get way too heated about it. I just want people to open their eyes to other possibilities. Is it possible you are wrong whether you think you are are not? Yes! But most people will never admit that, especially if they are very religious.
I know I am writing a loosing argument, so I will just say this - Think of reasons to ease your suffering if it makes you feel better, but leave a little room in your mind for other alternatives.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Yeeeehaw!
Yesterday, Mike and I went to our first ever rodeo! I don't know if that sentence warrants an exclamation mark, but I feel that it should for people who love the rodeo. Since I was trying to blend in, I thought I should get excited about it.
We went to the Ogden Pioneer Days Rodeo, and the reason we decided to go is because it takes place only a couple of blocks from our new house. We wanted to see what all the hype is about, because around here people seem to love the the rodeo as much as air conditioning on a hot day.
When we got there, I have to admit it seemed promising in the excitement department. There was music playing, and a very energetic, cowboy-sounding announcer. There were plenty of concessions, horses, and people walking about in cowboy gear. Let me stop right there and say I DID NOT DRESS LIKE A COWGIRL. I wanted to blend in, but those outfits have never appealed to me. Thankfully for us, there were plenty of other people not wearing their rodeo getup.
When the rodeo began, I was loving it because there were lots of horses, and I am practically in love with horses. I like to watch them, but after a while, I start to wish I had my own horse, or that I could at least go horseback riding. This jealousy was part of what spoiled the rodeo for me.
The other part that made the rodeo not-so-appealing was that it seemed to be like a long advertisement for various businesses, beer, and patriotism. This advertisement was only periodically interspersed with horse riding, cattle wrangling, and a very un-funny rodeo clown. I have nothing against advertising and patriotism, but when I go to a rodeo I want to see a rodeo. I don't want to spend half the time standing with my hand over my heart for America or listening to incoherent babble from the rodeo clown.
Mike and I ended up leaving about halfway through. I didn't hate the rodeo, but I probably won't go back either. Next time I have a horse craving, I will find a place where I can ride a horse myself. The rodeo is just not for me.
We went to the Ogden Pioneer Days Rodeo, and the reason we decided to go is because it takes place only a couple of blocks from our new house. We wanted to see what all the hype is about, because around here people seem to love the the rodeo as much as air conditioning on a hot day.
When we got there, I have to admit it seemed promising in the excitement department. There was music playing, and a very energetic, cowboy-sounding announcer. There were plenty of concessions, horses, and people walking about in cowboy gear. Let me stop right there and say I DID NOT DRESS LIKE A COWGIRL. I wanted to blend in, but those outfits have never appealed to me. Thankfully for us, there were plenty of other people not wearing their rodeo getup.
When the rodeo began, I was loving it because there were lots of horses, and I am practically in love with horses. I like to watch them, but after a while, I start to wish I had my own horse, or that I could at least go horseback riding. This jealousy was part of what spoiled the rodeo for me.
The other part that made the rodeo not-so-appealing was that it seemed to be like a long advertisement for various businesses, beer, and patriotism. This advertisement was only periodically interspersed with horse riding, cattle wrangling, and a very un-funny rodeo clown. I have nothing against advertising and patriotism, but when I go to a rodeo I want to see a rodeo. I don't want to spend half the time standing with my hand over my heart for America or listening to incoherent babble from the rodeo clown.
Mike and I ended up leaving about halfway through. I didn't hate the rodeo, but I probably won't go back either. Next time I have a horse craving, I will find a place where I can ride a horse myself. The rodeo is just not for me.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Communication
I am getting really lazy about posting, so hopefully I can pick it up. Today I don't have to work and I think I am coming down with a cold, so it is a good day to relax and do some blogging.
Lately I have been more fascinated with how people communicate. When someone speaks in your language, you know instantly what it means. Not only that, but speech can promote a wide array of thoughts and ideas and convey huge amounts of information. Think about if you were looking for something. If you can speak to someone, you can easily ask where it is and that person can just as easily tell you where it is if they know. But now think about trying to find something without being able to speak or write. It would be much more difficult if not impossible.
I think we take speech for granted a lot of the time. We get lazy about our communication, and that's when misunderstandings happen. We don't give allowances to people who have a hard time communicating such as deaf people, blind people, autistic people, people who can't read or write, and many others. Why are we so harsh on those who can't do what we take for granted and those who communicate in a different way? We should try our best to understand everyone, no matter how they communicate.
Maybe the reason I have been thinking about communication is because I have been reading a book called Thinking Fast and Slow. This book deals mostly with the way people think, as the title indicates. It describes two systems of thinking - System 1 and System 2. "System 1 operates automatically and quickly, with little or no effort and no sense of voluntary control. System 2 allocates attention to the effortful mental activities that demand it, including complex computations."
Anyway, I won't go into the book too much because I haven't finished it and I also wouldn't do it justice. But it is very fascinating, and I would highly recommend it.
I only mention it because System 1 makes me think of nonverbal communication because it allows us to do things like understand someone is mad just by looking at their face or detect hostility in a voice. Although nonverbal communication cannot convey complex ideas, it can sometimes give as much information as verbal communication.
I think I don't write as well when I am sick, so at the risk of being convoluted, I will wrap up this post. I just think communication is interesting, both verbal and non verbal. I think it is important to not take communication for granted and to be careful how you communicate, because you might end up communicating the wrong message. Also, go easy on those who have a hard time communicating because someday you may be the one who no one understands.
Lately I have been more fascinated with how people communicate. When someone speaks in your language, you know instantly what it means. Not only that, but speech can promote a wide array of thoughts and ideas and convey huge amounts of information. Think about if you were looking for something. If you can speak to someone, you can easily ask where it is and that person can just as easily tell you where it is if they know. But now think about trying to find something without being able to speak or write. It would be much more difficult if not impossible.
I think we take speech for granted a lot of the time. We get lazy about our communication, and that's when misunderstandings happen. We don't give allowances to people who have a hard time communicating such as deaf people, blind people, autistic people, people who can't read or write, and many others. Why are we so harsh on those who can't do what we take for granted and those who communicate in a different way? We should try our best to understand everyone, no matter how they communicate.
Maybe the reason I have been thinking about communication is because I have been reading a book called Thinking Fast and Slow. This book deals mostly with the way people think, as the title indicates. It describes two systems of thinking - System 1 and System 2. "System 1 operates automatically and quickly, with little or no effort and no sense of voluntary control. System 2 allocates attention to the effortful mental activities that demand it, including complex computations."
Anyway, I won't go into the book too much because I haven't finished it and I also wouldn't do it justice. But it is very fascinating, and I would highly recommend it.
I only mention it because System 1 makes me think of nonverbal communication because it allows us to do things like understand someone is mad just by looking at their face or detect hostility in a voice. Although nonverbal communication cannot convey complex ideas, it can sometimes give as much information as verbal communication.
I think I don't write as well when I am sick, so at the risk of being convoluted, I will wrap up this post. I just think communication is interesting, both verbal and non verbal. I think it is important to not take communication for granted and to be careful how you communicate, because you might end up communicating the wrong message. Also, go easy on those who have a hard time communicating because someday you may be the one who no one understands.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
One Day At A Time
It's been a little while since I have blogged, but this time I can blame it on moving. Yes, I am now a homeowner for the first time in my life, and while that can be exciting, it can also be very stressful. Now, if something breaks, I can't just call the landlord. I either have to fix it myself or shell out lots of cash to have someone else fix it.
So far, so good in the fixing department, although we have only been in the house a week. What I'm dealing with the most right now is getting used to living in a new neighborhood and new house. For many people, that may be no big deal. But I have always had a difficult time dealing with big changes in my life. Maybe I'm just overly emotional, but change can be pretty scary for me.
So how do you deal with change? I think it is similar to dealing with depression. You can try to stay in a routine as much as possible. Do things that make you happy. Don't let negative thoughts consume you. Plan small activities to look forward to, and enjoy the small and simple pleasures. Don't overwork yourself or try to take on too many projects. Get enough exercise and sleep. Eat right. Use relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation.
All those suggestions are well and good, but the truth is, stress is still an everyday struggle, and sometimes all you can do is take it one day at a time. So forgive me if I don't post about the house right away. I'm still getting used to all all its quirks (it's 110 years old). But I'm sure you will get more than an earful about my house in the years to come.
So far, so good in the fixing department, although we have only been in the house a week. What I'm dealing with the most right now is getting used to living in a new neighborhood and new house. For many people, that may be no big deal. But I have always had a difficult time dealing with big changes in my life. Maybe I'm just overly emotional, but change can be pretty scary for me.
So how do you deal with change? I think it is similar to dealing with depression. You can try to stay in a routine as much as possible. Do things that make you happy. Don't let negative thoughts consume you. Plan small activities to look forward to, and enjoy the small and simple pleasures. Don't overwork yourself or try to take on too many projects. Get enough exercise and sleep. Eat right. Use relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation.
All those suggestions are well and good, but the truth is, stress is still an everyday struggle, and sometimes all you can do is take it one day at a time. So forgive me if I don't post about the house right away. I'm still getting used to all all its quirks (it's 110 years old). But I'm sure you will get more than an earful about my house in the years to come.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Argument
I have never been the sort of person who likes to argue a point. Even if it's something I believe strongly, I usually keep it to myself because I have found that most people don't want to change their minds about what they believe. They only want to make you believe what they believe. I find it pointless to try to make others believe as I do, so why would I argue the point?
Just because I don't like to argue, doesn't mean I don't like to put my opinions out there. Obviously I put my opinions out there all the time on this blog. But once my opinion is out there and someone rejects it, I'm not going to push it further. Honestly, I don't care much if others agree with me. They can believe what they want as long as they don't try to push it on me.
I know there are people out there who love to argue because they are just so passionate about what they believe. I'm sure that to them I am simply a coward for not standing up for what I believe. In response to that I would say, first of all, that if someone's rights are being violated or they are being severely mistreated, I do try to stand up for them if I think I can make a difference. I don't just lay down and accept everything that is unjust in the world. But when it comes to things like politics, or religion, or personal beliefs, you bet I'm not going to try to change anyone's mind. Most people don't want to open their minds to a different way of thinking, and I'm not a master of persuasion to make them do it. I will leave that job to the people who love the art of persuasion. But even if you love a good argument, learn to know when enough is enough, and when an argument is futile. I think it is the mark a foolish person who always argues, but never changes his own mind.
Just because I don't like to argue, doesn't mean I don't like to put my opinions out there. Obviously I put my opinions out there all the time on this blog. But once my opinion is out there and someone rejects it, I'm not going to push it further. Honestly, I don't care much if others agree with me. They can believe what they want as long as they don't try to push it on me.
I know there are people out there who love to argue because they are just so passionate about what they believe. I'm sure that to them I am simply a coward for not standing up for what I believe. In response to that I would say, first of all, that if someone's rights are being violated or they are being severely mistreated, I do try to stand up for them if I think I can make a difference. I don't just lay down and accept everything that is unjust in the world. But when it comes to things like politics, or religion, or personal beliefs, you bet I'm not going to try to change anyone's mind. Most people don't want to open their minds to a different way of thinking, and I'm not a master of persuasion to make them do it. I will leave that job to the people who love the art of persuasion. But even if you love a good argument, learn to know when enough is enough, and when an argument is futile. I think it is the mark a foolish person who always argues, but never changes his own mind.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Life Is Beautiful
It's hard to believe it has been so long since I posted last. Life always seems to get in the way, but I don't want to give up on my blog. Lately, too many of the blogs I read are being neglected or abandoned because their writers can't keep up with the stresses of life and extra things like writing a blog. But I think it is important to keep writing. For one thing, it is a creative outlet and when you think writing will stress you out, it often does the opposite and lifts your mood. Also, you can't let life win. What I mean by that is, you can't let the stress of life overwhelm you.......you just can't. If you do, then you either die, or everything becomes meaningless. Whatever you do in life, don't let that happen. Writing a blog may be a silly, small way of not letting life win, but it is a piece of the whole that makes life beautiful, and thus just as important as any other piece.
Of course, as I always say, don't try to do too much and get overwhelmed. Maybe a blog is too much, and that is fine. But make sure to keep some things that make your life happy. Whether it be cooking or drawing or singing or gardening or exercising or playing games, or spending time with your family. These things are way more important than making more money or having more things or keeping up with the Jones. Forget about appearances and expectations too much responsibility and live a life that is beautiful to you.
Of course, as I always say, don't try to do too much and get overwhelmed. Maybe a blog is too much, and that is fine. But make sure to keep some things that make your life happy. Whether it be cooking or drawing or singing or gardening or exercising or playing games, or spending time with your family. These things are way more important than making more money or having more things or keeping up with the Jones. Forget about appearances and expectations too much responsibility and live a life that is beautiful to you.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Up Against The Odds
What is your worst fear? Heights, snakes, spiders, public speaking, death? Now imagine that you have to face your worst fear every day of your life. Do you think you would get used to it, or would you go crazy? I think that for people who are mentally ill, it is like facing their worst fears every day.
Depression, anxiety, PTSD, mood disorders, social disorders, and any mental disorder, all make "normal" life a very scary experience. People with these disorders have to face every new day knowing that they will have to make it through situations that will terrify them to the very core. If that isn't strength and bravery, I don't know what is.
If it seems like I write a lot about mental illness, it's because I have a soft spot in my heart for all those who suffer from unseen conditions. Some mentally ill people suffer just as much as someone with cancer or heart disease. Yet there is far less understanding and support for them because people can't see their illness and they don't understand what it is really like to be mentally ill. I encourage everyone out there who knows someone who is mentally ill or possibly mentally ill, to be as caring and helpful as if that person had a physical disease. After all, that person may be up against their worst fears every day.
Depression, anxiety, PTSD, mood disorders, social disorders, and any mental disorder, all make "normal" life a very scary experience. People with these disorders have to face every new day knowing that they will have to make it through situations that will terrify them to the very core. If that isn't strength and bravery, I don't know what is.
If it seems like I write a lot about mental illness, it's because I have a soft spot in my heart for all those who suffer from unseen conditions. Some mentally ill people suffer just as much as someone with cancer or heart disease. Yet there is far less understanding and support for them because people can't see their illness and they don't understand what it is really like to be mentally ill. I encourage everyone out there who knows someone who is mentally ill or possibly mentally ill, to be as caring and helpful as if that person had a physical disease. After all, that person may be up against their worst fears every day.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Relatively Rich
There are a lot of people all over the world who can be considered poor. There are people in America who can't afford healthcare, new clothes, a car, or much of anything beside the bare minimum. But this kind of "poor" is relative. Think of people in third world countries who have no healthcare system to even go to. Think of people who have no clean water or not enough food or who live in a war zone. Obviously these people would be considered poorer than someone who simply can't afford cable t.v. or gas for their car.
In the USA, you might not be able to afford food, but there are usually many places you can go to get food assistance. Likewise, if you don't have health insurance, you will still likely receive some medical care when you need it, and sometimes you will even get it for free. The wealth is all around, you need simply to ask for help. In some countries, this is not the case. You ask for help and there is no one within a hundred-mile radius who can help you. You ask for food and water and there is simply none to be found nearby. You ask for an education and there is no one with enough knowledge to teach. These are the people who a truly poor.
I am writing this post not to elicit sympathy for the truly poor. (Although I believe it is important to give compassion and help where you can.) I am writing this to help people realize how rich they really are. Do you have running water and electricity? You are rich. Do you have a place to live? You are rich. Do you have more than the basic necessities of life? You are rich. Do you have an education? You are rich. Do you have people who love you and care about you? You are rich. We take so much for granted, but it is important not to because otherwise you will feel poor and unhappy your whole life.
In the USA, you might not be able to afford food, but there are usually many places you can go to get food assistance. Likewise, if you don't have health insurance, you will still likely receive some medical care when you need it, and sometimes you will even get it for free. The wealth is all around, you need simply to ask for help. In some countries, this is not the case. You ask for help and there is no one within a hundred-mile radius who can help you. You ask for food and water and there is simply none to be found nearby. You ask for an education and there is no one with enough knowledge to teach. These are the people who a truly poor.
I am writing this post not to elicit sympathy for the truly poor. (Although I believe it is important to give compassion and help where you can.) I am writing this to help people realize how rich they really are. Do you have running water and electricity? You are rich. Do you have a place to live? You are rich. Do you have more than the basic necessities of life? You are rich. Do you have an education? You are rich. Do you have people who love you and care about you? You are rich. We take so much for granted, but it is important not to because otherwise you will feel poor and unhappy your whole life.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Stay Calm And Carry On
I feel bad for going so long in between blog posts, but I recently discovered the criticism that some professional bloggers endure. So I probably wouldn't want to blog professionally, even if I could make a living from it. On the other hand, there are a lot of blogs that I read that are so unprofessional, it's embarrassing. Most of these blogs are written by people I went to school with, so that makes me wonder if the school system was that bad, or if I just studied and learned more than most of those people. Either way, it makes me embarrassed that these peers of mine misspell simple words and can't use grammar or sentence structure to save their lives. Don't they at least have spell check?! I say, if you are going to put something on the internet for all to see, at least try to sound a little intelligent. I guess the trend now is dumping all your garbage on the internet for other people to slog through. I wonder if there is more useful information than crap left on the internet. More and more, people would rather be entertained than learn something. That's neither here nor there.
My original topic for this post was the saying, "Stay calm and carry on." I know it's a British saying, but I might just adopt it because I like it quite a bit. I don't think this saying is about being unemotional, as some people have said. To me it means pressing forward with dignity and grace when things are hard, rather than falling to pieces or lashing out at others at the slightest difficulty. While I see nothing wrong with being able to express your emotions freely, I think there are many people out there who could learn a little more self-control. Is it always best to immediately say something nasty back to someone who has said something nasty to you? When your car breaks down, is is good to let out a long string of curses or burst into tears? When you find out you have a chronic disease, should you wallow in self-pity and give up on life? I think the answer to all those questions is 'no'. When difficulties arise, stay clam and carry on, and you might find your problems are a little easier to get through.
My original topic for this post was the saying, "Stay calm and carry on." I know it's a British saying, but I might just adopt it because I like it quite a bit. I don't think this saying is about being unemotional, as some people have said. To me it means pressing forward with dignity and grace when things are hard, rather than falling to pieces or lashing out at others at the slightest difficulty. While I see nothing wrong with being able to express your emotions freely, I think there are many people out there who could learn a little more self-control. Is it always best to immediately say something nasty back to someone who has said something nasty to you? When your car breaks down, is is good to let out a long string of curses or burst into tears? When you find out you have a chronic disease, should you wallow in self-pity and give up on life? I think the answer to all those questions is 'no'. When difficulties arise, stay clam and carry on, and you might find your problems are a little easier to get through.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Living Today
I recently read a quote from Albert Einstein that said, "I never worry about the future, it comes soon enough." It struck me how good it would be to put this into practice. Too often people plan and worry so much about the future that it comes at the expense of living the present moment. What is the future other than more of what we are living right now? Things change in the future, but none of those changes are for certain. If we are constantly thinking about the future, that is what we will continue to do in the future, and nothing will ever be good enough to enjoy because we will always be anticipating the 'next big thing'. I think it is important to plan some for the future, but more important to live your life right now.
I also recently saw this German music video, and if you can get past the weirdness of it, you will find out that he is singing about starting fresh and new. Maybe it's just me, but I saw a link between the Einstein quote and this video. What it means to me is, live in the present and also don't be afraid to start over at any time. You only have one life, so why waste it being something you don't want to be? Why be afraid of starting over when the only moment you have for sure is now?
Gandhi once said, "Action expresses priorities." I know I have a lot of work to do when it comes to living each day to the fullest. I hope I can take action to express that living fully without fear of mistakes or the future is a priority.
I also recently saw this German music video, and if you can get past the weirdness of it, you will find out that he is singing about starting fresh and new. Maybe it's just me, but I saw a link between the Einstein quote and this video. What it means to me is, live in the present and also don't be afraid to start over at any time. You only have one life, so why waste it being something you don't want to be? Why be afraid of starting over when the only moment you have for sure is now?
Gandhi once said, "Action expresses priorities." I know I have a lot of work to do when it comes to living each day to the fullest. I hope I can take action to express that living fully without fear of mistakes or the future is a priority.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Expectations Of Reality
Have you ever been really excited for something only to be very disappointed when it actually happens? I'm not talking about the disappointment that comes when something goes wrong like burning the food or doing badly on a test. I'm talking about when everything goes according to plan, but in the end it just doesn't live up to your expectations. Examples of this would be going to Disneyland and not having that much fun, or throwing a party where guests leave unimpressed, or going on a date with someone you have been dying to meet, only to find out you don't have a connection. It happened like you expected, but you didn't get the feelings you expected.
I have found that this disconnect between reality and perception usually comes from believing too much of what we see in t.v. or movies. How many commercials or shows have you seen where everything just falls into place perfectly? Picture a commercial where a couple is having a romantic picnic on the beach at dusk. They have champagne and a big blanket and they both look amazing in their beach clothes. They kiss under the stars and stare deeply into each other's eyes as the waves crash in the distance. Sounds great, right? But then think about what might happen if you really tried to do that. You might have had a hard day at work, and you don't look so amazing. You might get sand in your underwear and come home with a horrible rash. You might park in a bad spot and get a parking ticket. You might be worried about your kids who are at home with the babysitter. You might be really cold because you forgot to bring your jacket. You might be fumbling in the dark for the champagne and then spill it all over yourself and the blanket.
I admit that not everything went perfect in that scenario, but even if it had, it probably wouldn't have been as perfect as in the commercial. That's because t.v. isn't reality, but we tend to think that it is because we see it so much. We expect things to be as perfect as they are on t.v., and when they aren't we are disappointed. People need to remember that things rarely turn out as well as they do on t.v. That's just not how life works.
One way I have found to get past the perception of perfection, is to not go into something with high expectations. That doesn't mean you can't be happy or excited about something. Just don't get your hopes so high that it is hard to recover if they are smashed. Also, when you leave expectations behind, you are free to live without any restrictions on what "should" happen. It can be very freeing to "let the chips fall where they may", so to speak. You may even be pleasantly surprised by the good things you weren't expecting.
I have found that this disconnect between reality and perception usually comes from believing too much of what we see in t.v. or movies. How many commercials or shows have you seen where everything just falls into place perfectly? Picture a commercial where a couple is having a romantic picnic on the beach at dusk. They have champagne and a big blanket and they both look amazing in their beach clothes. They kiss under the stars and stare deeply into each other's eyes as the waves crash in the distance. Sounds great, right? But then think about what might happen if you really tried to do that. You might have had a hard day at work, and you don't look so amazing. You might get sand in your underwear and come home with a horrible rash. You might park in a bad spot and get a parking ticket. You might be worried about your kids who are at home with the babysitter. You might be really cold because you forgot to bring your jacket. You might be fumbling in the dark for the champagne and then spill it all over yourself and the blanket.
I admit that not everything went perfect in that scenario, but even if it had, it probably wouldn't have been as perfect as in the commercial. That's because t.v. isn't reality, but we tend to think that it is because we see it so much. We expect things to be as perfect as they are on t.v., and when they aren't we are disappointed. People need to remember that things rarely turn out as well as they do on t.v. That's just not how life works.
One way I have found to get past the perception of perfection, is to not go into something with high expectations. That doesn't mean you can't be happy or excited about something. Just don't get your hopes so high that it is hard to recover if they are smashed. Also, when you leave expectations behind, you are free to live without any restrictions on what "should" happen. It can be very freeing to "let the chips fall where they may", so to speak. You may even be pleasantly surprised by the good things you weren't expecting.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Getting Better
I may or may not have mentioned on here that I got a sewing machine from Mike for Christmas. I had been wanting one for a while, not because I am some sort of master of sewing, but because it is something that I enjoy and am always learning about. Plus, it's nice to have a sewing machine if anything ever needs mending. I know most people these days are likely to just throw clothes away if they they get holes. But you know me. I like to make things last.
The only formal training I ever had on a sewing machine was in junior high school where I learned how to do things like threading the sewing machine and making pillow cases. My mom had an old sewing machine that weighed about a thousand pounds that I could practice on at home. During my early teens I used that thing to practice my latest obsession - making small bean bags that could be played with like hacky-sacks. Not that I ever had any skill at hacky-sack. Those bean bags mostly came in handy for throwing at my brothers.
When I was in my late teens, my brother came to me with the brilliant idea of making a quilt for his then girlfriend (now wife) on the 1000-pound clunker. Aw the stupid ambition of young love. I agreed to help him even though I had never made anything more than a pillow case and a hacky-sack. He bought a book on quilt-making for beginners and we began our haphazard journey.
In the end we finished that quilt after countless calculations and measurements, huge expenses on fabric and supplies, and many long hours cursing at the sewing machine. And wouldn't you know it, it actually turned out somewhat nice. Here is what it looked like -
You would think I would have remembered all that when I got my new sewing machine and decided to make a quilt for Mike. I didn't. But surprisingly it wasn't as bad as the first time. I guess it helps that newer machines are quite a bit easier to work with than what my mom had. Or maybe something is starting to sink in. Anyway, here is the finished product -
Mike LOVED it, even with all the mistakes I made on it. There must be something addicting about quilt-making, because I think I may even try to make another one someday.
The only formal training I ever had on a sewing machine was in junior high school where I learned how to do things like threading the sewing machine and making pillow cases. My mom had an old sewing machine that weighed about a thousand pounds that I could practice on at home. During my early teens I used that thing to practice my latest obsession - making small bean bags that could be played with like hacky-sacks. Not that I ever had any skill at hacky-sack. Those bean bags mostly came in handy for throwing at my brothers.
When I was in my late teens, my brother came to me with the brilliant idea of making a quilt for his then girlfriend (now wife) on the 1000-pound clunker. Aw the stupid ambition of young love. I agreed to help him even though I had never made anything more than a pillow case and a hacky-sack. He bought a book on quilt-making for beginners and we began our haphazard journey.
In the end we finished that quilt after countless calculations and measurements, huge expenses on fabric and supplies, and many long hours cursing at the sewing machine. And wouldn't you know it, it actually turned out somewhat nice. Here is what it looked like -
You would think I would have remembered all that when I got my new sewing machine and decided to make a quilt for Mike. I didn't. But surprisingly it wasn't as bad as the first time. I guess it helps that newer machines are quite a bit easier to work with than what my mom had. Or maybe something is starting to sink in. Anyway, here is the finished product -
Mike LOVED it, even with all the mistakes I made on it. There must be something addicting about quilt-making, because I think I may even try to make another one someday.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
To Fall Is Connected To Try
Here is my new favorite song. If you're a girl, you will probably enjoy the male underwear dancing. No so much if you're a guy. But there are other reasons I like this song.
One reason I like it is because it has a good message - "To fall is connected to try." In other words, sometimes you will fail when you try something new, but that doesn't mean you should never try. Falling and trying are connected, so there is no reason to be afraid of failure.
Another reason I really like this video is because it always makes me smile at the idea of letting loose and going crazy once in a while. If I am feeling uptight, sad, or stressed, I just watch this video and realize there is a simple solution to my negative feelings - Just let go of them and relax. I don't even have to smash everything in my house to feel better. Just changing your mindset works wonders.
Finally, I enjoy this music video because I think the guy is a good dancer. He may not do tons of fancy moves, but the ones he does do make him look so free and happy that it makes me want to get up and dance. And let me tell you, I AM NOT A DANCER. It would probably take me a month just to learn what he does in that video. Coordination is not my strong suit. It probably comes from being born to two intellectual, logical, nerds. I'm not bitter, though. I'll just dance while no one is watching, and if some things get broken in the process, IT WASN'T INTENTIONAL.
One reason I like it is because it has a good message - "To fall is connected to try." In other words, sometimes you will fail when you try something new, but that doesn't mean you should never try. Falling and trying are connected, so there is no reason to be afraid of failure.
Another reason I really like this video is because it always makes me smile at the idea of letting loose and going crazy once in a while. If I am feeling uptight, sad, or stressed, I just watch this video and realize there is a simple solution to my negative feelings - Just let go of them and relax. I don't even have to smash everything in my house to feel better. Just changing your mindset works wonders.
Finally, I enjoy this music video because I think the guy is a good dancer. He may not do tons of fancy moves, but the ones he does do make him look so free and happy that it makes me want to get up and dance. And let me tell you, I AM NOT A DANCER. It would probably take me a month just to learn what he does in that video. Coordination is not my strong suit. It probably comes from being born to two intellectual, logical, nerds. I'm not bitter, though. I'll just dance while no one is watching, and if some things get broken in the process, IT WASN'T INTENTIONAL.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Doing Your Best
I once read a book where the main character's mother was cold and emotionally unavailable because she couldn't handle very much emotional stress. Most people would condemn that mother for not giving her son what he needed. I think that while there may be some validity to that criticism, it is not entirely the mother's fault. Maybe, the way her body and mind worked, prevented her from being able the process emotions like most other people. Maybe she was doing her best.
We often hear the saying, "Just do your best." But even when people do their best we still often criticize them for not doing enough. Everyone's 'best' is different, yet that doesn't stop people from comparing others to some sort of standard.
Emotional standards are even more tricky and misunderstood than physical standards. It is easy to say that a person of a certain age and size should be able to do so many push-ups, or so many sit-ups. It is more difficult to say, for example, how many things a person should be able to process in their mind at once, or how long it should take a person to get over a loss. The standards for these kinds of things are less specific, yet there are still expectations. If you are grieving the death of a loved one for too long, people start to say there is something wrong with you. If you are not as emotional as other people, you are considered strange or bad. But what if you are doing your best, and you just can't live up to all the standards?
There are many people who believe that if a person isn't living up to socially acceptable standards, then they need to do something to 'fix' themselves. This means things like therapy, counseling, and research. I agree that many of these can be helpful to people in psychological distress. But at what point does a person stop being 'broken'? Some people are made differently than others, and just because their 'best' isn't up to snuff doesn't necessarily mean their is something wrong with that person that needs to be fixed. Even if that person wants to fix something about themselves, not everything is fixable. Just as you don't 'fix' a missing leg, you don't 'fix' all psychological problems. You learn to live with it.
You wouldn't expect a person with one leg and one prosthetic leg to be able to run as fast as someone with two legs. So why would you expect someone who had a difficult time with emotions to be able to deal with them the same as someone who doesn't? Just because you can see a weakness doesn't make it any more valid than a weakness you can't see.
So next time someone tells you they are doing their best to make it through this life, maybe you should accept it as good enough instead of pushing for better.
We often hear the saying, "Just do your best." But even when people do their best we still often criticize them for not doing enough. Everyone's 'best' is different, yet that doesn't stop people from comparing others to some sort of standard.
Emotional standards are even more tricky and misunderstood than physical standards. It is easy to say that a person of a certain age and size should be able to do so many push-ups, or so many sit-ups. It is more difficult to say, for example, how many things a person should be able to process in their mind at once, or how long it should take a person to get over a loss. The standards for these kinds of things are less specific, yet there are still expectations. If you are grieving the death of a loved one for too long, people start to say there is something wrong with you. If you are not as emotional as other people, you are considered strange or bad. But what if you are doing your best, and you just can't live up to all the standards?
There are many people who believe that if a person isn't living up to socially acceptable standards, then they need to do something to 'fix' themselves. This means things like therapy, counseling, and research. I agree that many of these can be helpful to people in psychological distress. But at what point does a person stop being 'broken'? Some people are made differently than others, and just because their 'best' isn't up to snuff doesn't necessarily mean their is something wrong with that person that needs to be fixed. Even if that person wants to fix something about themselves, not everything is fixable. Just as you don't 'fix' a missing leg, you don't 'fix' all psychological problems. You learn to live with it.
You wouldn't expect a person with one leg and one prosthetic leg to be able to run as fast as someone with two legs. So why would you expect someone who had a difficult time with emotions to be able to deal with them the same as someone who doesn't? Just because you can see a weakness doesn't make it any more valid than a weakness you can't see.
So next time someone tells you they are doing their best to make it through this life, maybe you should accept it as good enough instead of pushing for better.
Monday, March 5, 2012
The Next Generation
I grew up during the time when the Harry Potter books were just coming out. I resisted reading them at first because, as Mike will tell you, I am not a big fan of fantasy. But the moment I finished the first book, I was hooked. I don't know what it was about those books. They just made me forget about my problems when I read them and they drew me in and left me breathless to find out what would happen next. Then came the movies and I was so excited to see the story come to life.
Every generation seems to have that one story or show that so many people resonate with. These stories usually showcase the best in human traits - strength, courage, love, determination, knowledge. They seem to uplift people and give them more hope and optimism in their own lives. Before Harry Potter it was Star Wars, Star Trek, and Lord of the Rings.
Most recently the story that resonates with most people is Twilight. This doesn't sit well with me because I read the first book and, although it was interesting, it didn't grip me. I couldn't find the values and inspiration that where in previous stories. Love was the only one I could find, and even that was tainted with jealousy and anger.
I think society's love for Twilight speaks to an overall deterioration of intellect and strong values. People would rather give into their desires without earning anything through hard work.
I admit I have not read any Twilight books beyond the first one and I refuse to see the movies. So I'm sure there are those who will argue that the values are there if I just look a little deeper. Maybe they are there, but I still can't shake this feeling that there has been a shift in society. It's not just Twilight. This degeneration seems to be everywhere.
I don't mean to be cynical. I always try to see the best in human nature, and I know there are many good people out there. I only hope the good will outweigh the bad.
Every generation seems to have that one story or show that so many people resonate with. These stories usually showcase the best in human traits - strength, courage, love, determination, knowledge. They seem to uplift people and give them more hope and optimism in their own lives. Before Harry Potter it was Star Wars, Star Trek, and Lord of the Rings.
Most recently the story that resonates with most people is Twilight. This doesn't sit well with me because I read the first book and, although it was interesting, it didn't grip me. I couldn't find the values and inspiration that where in previous stories. Love was the only one I could find, and even that was tainted with jealousy and anger.
I think society's love for Twilight speaks to an overall deterioration of intellect and strong values. People would rather give into their desires without earning anything through hard work.
I admit I have not read any Twilight books beyond the first one and I refuse to see the movies. So I'm sure there are those who will argue that the values are there if I just look a little deeper. Maybe they are there, but I still can't shake this feeling that there has been a shift in society. It's not just Twilight. This degeneration seems to be everywhere.
I don't mean to be cynical. I always try to see the best in human nature, and I know there are many good people out there. I only hope the good will outweigh the bad.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Getting Around
I remember when I was a kid and going anywhere remotely far from home on my own or with friends was one of the most thrilling things in my life. Even walking to the gas station or the park was a thrilling independence that I seldom experience anymore. But why don't I feel that anymore? I have more independence now than I ever had as a kid. Almost everyday I get in my car and go miles from home and think nothing of it. What happened to that thrill of adventure? I think I have somehow become desensitized.
At first it was exciting just going around the block. Then it was more exciting when my parents allowed me to ride my bike to the park. Then I got my driver's licence and the thought of driving anywhere I wanted practically made me swoon, even though I was terrified of driving for a good amount of time. But then I started having to go places that I didn't always want to go - the store, work, school, appointments. Gradually, getting around became a necessity rather than a joy.
We've all heard the saying, "Getting there is half the fun." Well I have lost a lot of that fun, and I would like to get it back. I think I could start by appreciating having a car and the ability to drive. I also should appreciate the fact that I can move around at all. There are so many people who disabled, and moving is difficult if not impossible for them. Once I get moving, I think taking time to notice the beauty in the world and not rushing will also help me to find more joy in the journey. Finally, going to new and different places will surely keep things exciting.
I am so thankful I have been able go so many amazing places in my life. I can only hope I will be able to go to many more and enjoy the journey every time.
At first it was exciting just going around the block. Then it was more exciting when my parents allowed me to ride my bike to the park. Then I got my driver's licence and the thought of driving anywhere I wanted practically made me swoon, even though I was terrified of driving for a good amount of time. But then I started having to go places that I didn't always want to go - the store, work, school, appointments. Gradually, getting around became a necessity rather than a joy.
We've all heard the saying, "Getting there is half the fun." Well I have lost a lot of that fun, and I would like to get it back. I think I could start by appreciating having a car and the ability to drive. I also should appreciate the fact that I can move around at all. There are so many people who disabled, and moving is difficult if not impossible for them. Once I get moving, I think taking time to notice the beauty in the world and not rushing will also help me to find more joy in the journey. Finally, going to new and different places will surely keep things exciting.
I am so thankful I have been able go so many amazing places in my life. I can only hope I will be able to go to many more and enjoy the journey every time.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Stuck On Repeat
It has been two years since I started this blog, and I am finding that it is getting harder and harder to remember what I have already written about in the past. There are just too many posts now to make it possible to go through every one of them looking for a specific statement or topic. Before you say it, yes, I know there are ways of archiving blogs and posts to make it easier to look up things. But I am not computer- or blog-savvy enough to know how to use those techniques, nor am a very interested in taking the time to learn about them. So if you read my blog, don't be surprised if I repeat myself or even contradict myself from time to time. That's just me being too lazy to archive properly.
You would think it would bug me more that I don't always remember what I have written. I get really annoyed with myself when I repeat myself, contradict myself, or even when I use the same word or phrase too often. I don't like being repetitive, and I don't like when other people are repetitive. To me, being repetitive means lack of personality and lack of imagination. On the other hand, I suppose always saying the same thing could be considered part of someone's personality. Also, at this point in my life, I have probably repeated so many things that it doesn't really matter anymore. I just chalk it up to human error or habit. I know I use certain words a lot in my writing like "but", "just", "also", "really", "probably", "so". That will probably never change. So either accept it, or stop reading my blog.
You would think it would bug me more that I don't always remember what I have written. I get really annoyed with myself when I repeat myself, contradict myself, or even when I use the same word or phrase too often. I don't like being repetitive, and I don't like when other people are repetitive. To me, being repetitive means lack of personality and lack of imagination. On the other hand, I suppose always saying the same thing could be considered part of someone's personality. Also, at this point in my life, I have probably repeated so many things that it doesn't really matter anymore. I just chalk it up to human error or habit. I know I use certain words a lot in my writing like "but", "just", "also", "really", "probably", "so". That will probably never change. So either accept it, or stop reading my blog.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Basking In Love
Yesterday was Valentine's day and Mike did not disappoint. It's not just that he got me flowers and jewelry and clothes and perfume and dinner and just about anything I could ever want. It's that he goes with me when I shop for clothes even though there is probably few things that are more boring to him. It' that when he takes me out to dinner, even silence is not awkward. It's that even a text from him or to hear his voice can light up my day. It's that we are so alike it is scary, yet so different that it doesn't get boring. It's that he always tries to make me happy. It's that he does make me incredibly happy.....Love you Mike.
Just a side note for all you who may be gagging at the mushyness of this post. You may be alone and unhappy and that's why you don't like all this love talk. But there were times in my life when I was alone and I truly thought I would never find anyone to love me. So I think I am entitled to bask in my love once in while. I hope you won't hate me for it, and don't give up hope that you will find your own love to bask in.
Just a side note for all you who may be gagging at the mushyness of this post. You may be alone and unhappy and that's why you don't like all this love talk. But there were times in my life when I was alone and I truly thought I would never find anyone to love me. So I think I am entitled to bask in my love once in while. I hope you won't hate me for it, and don't give up hope that you will find your own love to bask in.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Social Addiction
I have been thinking about Facebook and how much it has become a part of most people's lives. I can hardly go to any business now without seeing some sort of sign that says, "Follow us on Facebook!" I remember when MySpace first came out and I liked it so much that when I heard about Facebook I vowed never to make a page there. Well we all see how that worked out. The sad thing is, I still like MySpace better. I only went to Facebook because that's where all the people went. It's no fun being alone on MySpace.
Whatever social networking site you use, I think it has all gotten a little out of control. When I first started I went to meet people or connect with people I already knew and see a few pictures or hear comments on current issues. But now, Facebook is more like a huge jumble of advertisements, game requests, meaningless posts, and countless pictures. When I first joined it was more like an exclusive club with a few members. Now it is overcrowded, and that means it has all the trash, and noise, and abuse that comes with overcrowding. I can tolerate crowds once in a while, but as a general rule I don't like them.
If you know me at all, you are probably thinking to yourself at this point that I am a huge hypocrite. I am. I don't deny it. I am addicted to Facebook like a drug addict is addicted to drugs. But like most drug addicts, I don't want to be addicted. I have this part of my brain that wants to know every tiny detail about every little thing, no matter how pointless it may be. I know it is impossible to keep up with everything on Facebook, but my poor brain wants to try anyway.
So I am going to take baby steps to overcome my addiction. Maybe I can not log on so often. Maybe I can go a whole day without looking. Maybe a week. Maybe......
Whatever social networking site you use, I think it has all gotten a little out of control. When I first started I went to meet people or connect with people I already knew and see a few pictures or hear comments on current issues. But now, Facebook is more like a huge jumble of advertisements, game requests, meaningless posts, and countless pictures. When I first joined it was more like an exclusive club with a few members. Now it is overcrowded, and that means it has all the trash, and noise, and abuse that comes with overcrowding. I can tolerate crowds once in a while, but as a general rule I don't like them.
If you know me at all, you are probably thinking to yourself at this point that I am a huge hypocrite. I am. I don't deny it. I am addicted to Facebook like a drug addict is addicted to drugs. But like most drug addicts, I don't want to be addicted. I have this part of my brain that wants to know every tiny detail about every little thing, no matter how pointless it may be. I know it is impossible to keep up with everything on Facebook, but my poor brain wants to try anyway.
So I am going to take baby steps to overcome my addiction. Maybe I can not log on so often. Maybe I can go a whole day without looking. Maybe a week. Maybe......
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Time For A Mental Break
I heard a singer say once that he only writes positive, uplifting music because there is enough negativity in the world. I really like the idea of staying positive. I think it is very important to your mental well-being. It doesn't usually come naturally, either. You really have to make an effort to be positive. YOU have to control what you let yourself think about and what you let yourself see and experience. Just as you protect a child from seeing bad things, sometimes you have to do the same for yourself. I've said before that I hate when people try to pretend that the bad things in the world don't exist. In this case I am not talking about blocking out or ignoring every bad thing that you hear or see. I'm talking more about limiting your intake and controlling your negative thoughts.
When you see something bad on the news, think to yourself, "Does this information benefit me? Is it very important that I think about this?" 9 times out of 10, the answer will be 'no'. Then why let yourself obsess over something that is not benefiting your mental health? For example, think of someone who has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Those people have seen and experienced things that are so horrific that they can no longer function in everyday life. If you let the negative thoughts consume you, you are basically giving yourself PTSD, and some day you may not be able to function either.
So don't ignore every bad thing in the world, but don't let the bad things control or break you either. Listen to one or two sad songs, but then move on to some happier ones. When things get heavy-handed, deal with them as best you can, but then give yourself some time to think of or do happier things. Give yourself a mental break.
When you see something bad on the news, think to yourself, "Does this information benefit me? Is it very important that I think about this?" 9 times out of 10, the answer will be 'no'. Then why let yourself obsess over something that is not benefiting your mental health? For example, think of someone who has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Those people have seen and experienced things that are so horrific that they can no longer function in everyday life. If you let the negative thoughts consume you, you are basically giving yourself PTSD, and some day you may not be able to function either.
So don't ignore every bad thing in the world, but don't let the bad things control or break you either. Listen to one or two sad songs, but then move on to some happier ones. When things get heavy-handed, deal with them as best you can, but then give yourself some time to think of or do happier things. Give yourself a mental break.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Don't Try This At Home
Look how crafty I am!
I saw this Valentine's garland being made on TV and I thought, "I can do that!" I like Valentine's Day alright, but I don't have a lot of decorations for it because that would just mean more stuff to store and drag out every year. However, I was feeling crafty on the particular day I saw the garland on TV. I thought I would have it made in no time. That's the thing with crafts. They always look easier to do than they really are. The Valentine's garland wasn't so much hard to make, as it was time-consuming. I probably spent about two hours constructing that damn thing. Measuring, cutting, gluing, holding pieces together while the glue dried. It was horrible! Near the end of it it almost felt more like torture than crafting. That's about the time I remembered why I don't craft often. It always looks like fun, but in the end you feel exhausted, and all you have to show for it are some bits of paper and string glued together. Next time I get the urge to craft, maybe I can look at my little garland and remember how grueling it really is.
I saw this Valentine's garland being made on TV and I thought, "I can do that!" I like Valentine's Day alright, but I don't have a lot of decorations for it because that would just mean more stuff to store and drag out every year. However, I was feeling crafty on the particular day I saw the garland on TV. I thought I would have it made in no time. That's the thing with crafts. They always look easier to do than they really are. The Valentine's garland wasn't so much hard to make, as it was time-consuming. I probably spent about two hours constructing that damn thing. Measuring, cutting, gluing, holding pieces together while the glue dried. It was horrible! Near the end of it it almost felt more like torture than crafting. That's about the time I remembered why I don't craft often. It always looks like fun, but in the end you feel exhausted, and all you have to show for it are some bits of paper and string glued together. Next time I get the urge to craft, maybe I can look at my little garland and remember how grueling it really is.
Monday, January 23, 2012
In Honor Of Good People
I have been noticing lately how there are so many award shows for actors and singers. It is strange to me that so many people like watching these shows. If you love someone's performance, why does it matter if that person gets an award for it? If the award is something to make the actor feel his performance was exceptional, then why do other people have to watch him get the award? I just don't understand. Does it have to do with people's obsession with celebrities? When other important people get recognized for their accomplishments, it is rarely televised. How many award shows do you watch for writers or doctors or teachers or scientists?
I think most people watch award shows to see the celebrities and what they are wearing. REALLY?! Can you even call that a past-time? Unless you a very passionate about fashion or music or movies, I can't understand why anyone would watch an award show. They are just people parading around in fancy outfits.
Celebrities are only people, like you and me. They have no special powers unless you count money or being skilled at acting or something like that. Yet when a celebrity dies, people mourn as if they knew that person. Why is that? For all you know, that celebrity could have been a horrible person with some great skills. I'm not saying you can't feel sad when a celebrity passes away. But think about all the other people who are dying every day, and ask yourself, "Why is this celerity more deserving of my love and sympathy than all those other people?" It would be pointless to be sad every second of your life because people are always dying. But maybe we should be a little more selective of who we honor and who we mourn.
I think most people watch award shows to see the celebrities and what they are wearing. REALLY?! Can you even call that a past-time? Unless you a very passionate about fashion or music or movies, I can't understand why anyone would watch an award show. They are just people parading around in fancy outfits.
Celebrities are only people, like you and me. They have no special powers unless you count money or being skilled at acting or something like that. Yet when a celebrity dies, people mourn as if they knew that person. Why is that? For all you know, that celebrity could have been a horrible person with some great skills. I'm not saying you can't feel sad when a celebrity passes away. But think about all the other people who are dying every day, and ask yourself, "Why is this celerity more deserving of my love and sympathy than all those other people?" It would be pointless to be sad every second of your life because people are always dying. But maybe we should be a little more selective of who we honor and who we mourn.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Pretty Feet
Damn my lack of writing ideas. If it weren't for that I would probably write every day. But whatever.
I recently had my first pedicure as a gift from Mike for Christmas. (Thanks sweetie!) I was not expecting much since I am not a huge fan of spas. Gasp! I know, right? Who doesn't like spas? It's not really that I don't like them as much as it is I feel strange and uncomfortable there. It feels odd to me to be in a place where everyone whispers and you are constantly being touched by a stranger and put in uncomfortable situations. You are supposed to relax at a spa, but I find it hard to relax in those strange surroundings. I am relaxed at home. Not so much when I am covered in mud and surrounded by whispering, touchy-feely strangers. Anyway, that is beside the point because I actually really enjoyed the pedicure.
I didn't think there would be much they could do with my feet since I like to think my feet are not too bad looking to begin with. But they scraped and filed and rubbed and painted until my toes looked as perfect as they must have when I was born. It was wonderful! I told Mike I think I am addicted to pedicures now. Never before have I been anxious to return to the spa after leaving. I can now see how people crave the spa. This could get expensive. I would post a picture of my feet, but I have already done that before here, and how many pictures of my feet do you really need? Just imagine pink toenails instead of green.
On a side note, Mike got a new computer monitor yesterday. It is huge and beautiful and wonderful. However.....the blog post screen is slightly more intimidating since it is so big now it takes like 14 sentences just to make it across the screen. Even now as I finish up this post, it only looks like a tiny speck on this massive screen. Well, enjoy your speck.
I recently had my first pedicure as a gift from Mike for Christmas. (Thanks sweetie!) I was not expecting much since I am not a huge fan of spas. Gasp! I know, right? Who doesn't like spas? It's not really that I don't like them as much as it is I feel strange and uncomfortable there. It feels odd to me to be in a place where everyone whispers and you are constantly being touched by a stranger and put in uncomfortable situations. You are supposed to relax at a spa, but I find it hard to relax in those strange surroundings. I am relaxed at home. Not so much when I am covered in mud and surrounded by whispering, touchy-feely strangers. Anyway, that is beside the point because I actually really enjoyed the pedicure.
I didn't think there would be much they could do with my feet since I like to think my feet are not too bad looking to begin with. But they scraped and filed and rubbed and painted until my toes looked as perfect as they must have when I was born. It was wonderful! I told Mike I think I am addicted to pedicures now. Never before have I been anxious to return to the spa after leaving. I can now see how people crave the spa. This could get expensive. I would post a picture of my feet, but I have already done that before here, and how many pictures of my feet do you really need? Just imagine pink toenails instead of green.
On a side note, Mike got a new computer monitor yesterday. It is huge and beautiful and wonderful. However.....the blog post screen is slightly more intimidating since it is so big now it takes like 14 sentences just to make it across the screen. Even now as I finish up this post, it only looks like a tiny speck on this massive screen. Well, enjoy your speck.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Mean Girls
On more than one occasion in my life I have had a girl who I considered a good friend, suddenly turn into my mortal enemy for reasons totally unknown to me. I don't consciously do anything to make these girls turn on me, which makes it all the more hurtful when they turn on me. Of course no one HAS to be my friend. But why is it that girls can't just leave you alone when they don't like you anymore? They always seek out ways to injure you psychologically. This is always so confusing and painful because I have the best intentions, yet I get punished for it. So WHY ARE GIRLS SO MEAN?
I know not all girls are like that, because I wouldn't do anything like that. So they are capable of not being mean. But meanness in girls seems to have become a social behavior that is accepted in our country. It's not only accepted, but it's expected that girls will be psychologically damaging to each other. What happened to teaching children kindness, love, and tolerance for everyone?
If you think this is only a problem in school-age kids, you would be wrong. I once believed that girls grew out of this when they got older. But now I know that the problem only gets worse as they get older. That's because they get smarter and figure out more sophisticated ways of hurting other people. What is it all for? Social status? Dominance? Pure hate? Whatever it is, it needs to stop. But how can we stop something that has become so out of control? With little steps. Teach your children the meaning of being kind and doing the right thing. Also lead by example. Be what you wish others to be. With your own small actions, you may just change the world.
I know not all girls are like that, because I wouldn't do anything like that. So they are capable of not being mean. But meanness in girls seems to have become a social behavior that is accepted in our country. It's not only accepted, but it's expected that girls will be psychologically damaging to each other. What happened to teaching children kindness, love, and tolerance for everyone?
If you think this is only a problem in school-age kids, you would be wrong. I once believed that girls grew out of this when they got older. But now I know that the problem only gets worse as they get older. That's because they get smarter and figure out more sophisticated ways of hurting other people. What is it all for? Social status? Dominance? Pure hate? Whatever it is, it needs to stop. But how can we stop something that has become so out of control? With little steps. Teach your children the meaning of being kind and doing the right thing. Also lead by example. Be what you wish others to be. With your own small actions, you may just change the world.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
A Little Bit County, A Little Bit Rock-And-Roll
It certainly does not feel like January around here. With highs around 50 degrees and no snow, it feels more like Spring already. While I can't say I miss the cold weather, it is a tiny bit disconcerting that the weather is changing so much. But I won't let it worry me too much because there isn't much I will be able to do if the world is ending anyway.
I have mentioned before in this blog how I am interested in all kinds of different lifestyles. Even though I am interested in all of them, some appeal more to me than others. Country would be one that appeals to me. Maybe it comes from growing up mainly in the west, but I like the idea of the country lifestyle. When I was a little kid I wanted to run a farm when I grew up, or at least have all kinds of farm animals. I don't think I knew how much work actually goes into running a farm. Now, you could say I still have that dream, but on a much smaller scale. Maybe I could work part-time on a farm or have a horse, or a cow, or a goat, or a garden. The garden is probably the most likely out of those, but don't kill my dreams!
Another thing I like about country is the interior design. I like warm, cozy, homey, comfortable spaces, and country design seems to embody a lot of that. I'm not the sort of person to go all-out country in my decorating, but a few touches of country here and there would be great.
I also like the values that are usually adopted with the country lifestyle. So called "country people" seem to have a strong love for family, freedom, honor, and God, and a respect and love for the environment. Those are all things I feel are important as well.
Country cooking is also something I definitely love. I have always been a meat-and-potatoes kind of girl. (More potatoes than meat, to tell the truth.) I love fresh veggies, beef stew, steaks, chicken, pot roast, pies, homemade bread, and just about any other kind of county food you can think of. I love food in general, but if I had to choose a favorite style of cooking, I think country would be it. (Although Italian would come in a close second. I couldn't live without pizza.)
The only thing I can't quite embrace when it comes to country is the clothing. I don't mind people who like wearing cowboy hats and boots, Wrangler jeans, and plaid shirts, but I just can't get into dressing that way. But who knows? Maybe it could grow on me.
I have mentioned before in this blog how I am interested in all kinds of different lifestyles. Even though I am interested in all of them, some appeal more to me than others. Country would be one that appeals to me. Maybe it comes from growing up mainly in the west, but I like the idea of the country lifestyle. When I was a little kid I wanted to run a farm when I grew up, or at least have all kinds of farm animals. I don't think I knew how much work actually goes into running a farm. Now, you could say I still have that dream, but on a much smaller scale. Maybe I could work part-time on a farm or have a horse, or a cow, or a goat, or a garden. The garden is probably the most likely out of those, but don't kill my dreams!
Another thing I like about country is the interior design. I like warm, cozy, homey, comfortable spaces, and country design seems to embody a lot of that. I'm not the sort of person to go all-out country in my decorating, but a few touches of country here and there would be great.
I also like the values that are usually adopted with the country lifestyle. So called "country people" seem to have a strong love for family, freedom, honor, and God, and a respect and love for the environment. Those are all things I feel are important as well.
Country cooking is also something I definitely love. I have always been a meat-and-potatoes kind of girl. (More potatoes than meat, to tell the truth.) I love fresh veggies, beef stew, steaks, chicken, pot roast, pies, homemade bread, and just about any other kind of county food you can think of. I love food in general, but if I had to choose a favorite style of cooking, I think country would be it. (Although Italian would come in a close second. I couldn't live without pizza.)
The only thing I can't quite embrace when it comes to country is the clothing. I don't mind people who like wearing cowboy hats and boots, Wrangler jeans, and plaid shirts, but I just can't get into dressing that way. But who knows? Maybe it could grow on me.
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