Expectations Of Reality

Have you ever been really excited for something only to be very disappointed when it actually happens? I'm not talking about the disappointment that comes when something goes wrong like burning the food or doing badly on a test. I'm talking about when everything goes according to plan, but in the end it just doesn't live up to your expectations. Examples of this would be going to Disneyland and not having that much fun, or throwing a party where guests leave unimpressed, or going on a date with someone you have been dying to meet, only to find out you don't have a connection. It happened like you expected, but you didn't get the feelings you expected.

I have found that this disconnect between reality and perception usually comes from believing too much of what we see in t.v. or movies. How many commercials or shows have you seen where everything just falls into place perfectly? Picture a commercial where a couple is having a romantic picnic on the beach at dusk. They have champagne and a big blanket and they both look amazing in their beach clothes. They kiss under the stars and stare deeply into each other's eyes as the waves crash in the distance. Sounds great, right? But then think about what might happen if you really tried to do that. You might have had a hard day at work, and you don't look so amazing. You might get sand in your underwear and come home with a horrible rash. You might park in a bad spot and get a parking ticket. You might be worried about your kids who are at home with the babysitter. You might be really cold because you forgot to bring your jacket. You might be fumbling in the dark for the champagne and then spill it all over yourself and the blanket.

I admit that not everything went perfect in that scenario, but even if it had, it probably wouldn't have been as perfect as in the commercial. That's because t.v. isn't reality, but we tend to think that it is because we see it so much. We expect things to be as perfect as they are on t.v., and when they aren't we are disappointed. People need to remember that things rarely turn out as well as they do on t.v. That's just not how life works.

One way I have found to get past the perception of perfection, is to not go into something with high expectations. That doesn't mean you can't be happy or excited about something. Just don't get your hopes so high that it is hard to recover if they are smashed. Also, when you leave expectations behind, you are free to live without any restrictions on what "should" happen. It can be very freeing to "let the chips fall where they may", so to speak. You may even be pleasantly surprised by the good things you weren't expecting.