Benefits of a Dirty Mind

I was exercising today and while following along with the workout video, I began to think about how funny it would be if the instructor were saying the things he was saying in the video during sex. Maybe I just have a dirty mind, but it has always entertained me to think this way about any workout video. I suppose almost anything you say could be funny if you think about it in a sexual way. But workout videos seem to be exceptionally funny just because they are so physical. For example, there is the usual yelling and grunting -

"I love it!"
"Oh yeah, that feels good!"

Then there are the things that are you wouldn't usually think of in a sexual way, but when you do, they are hilarious (All taken from an actual workout video.) -

"The things I have seen happen in these girl's bodies have been absolutely fantastic."
"Give me a little grin."
"It's OK to scream."
"Make sure you're breathing back there."
"I'm a harper on form and technique."
"Keep your legs moving."
"What you'll see is one side might be a little easier than the other."
"Relax. Shake it out."
"Be deliberate with your movements."
"Don't let gravity take over."
"If you need a break, take it."
"Make sure you do that definite pause in the middle."
"I want you to hold right here."
"I'm going to bring the other one straight between my legs."
"I just made a jump in my results."
"You have to stick the move."
"If you want a little more intensity, I want you to try to balance on that leg at the top."
"Nothing else matters but this movement right now."
"That's what I want to hear!"
"Scream to the dog, cat, whatever. Tell them how good you're doing."
"You want to be able to look at a movement and say 'That's how it needs to be done! It just looks good!'"
"If I don't talk for a little bit, please know I am focusing."
"Arch that pelvis to the sky."
"Finish it strong!"

See? Are you thinking dirty? This is way too fun!

Another fun little dirty game that I like is to take the title of any movie that is more than one word, and replace one of the words with "penis". It makes me laugh almost every time and it also makes good porn titles. Here are a few to get you started -

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Penis
I Am Penis
The Fourth Penis
Paranormal Penis
The 40-Year-Old Penis
My Best Friend's Penis
Get Him To The Penis
Must Love Penises

You get the idea. Now go wild with it!

This may not be my most mature post, but the whole point is, it is fun to have a dirty mind once in a while. It makes the workout more bearable, and it gives you a laugh when you need one. So don't judge me for my moment of dirty mindedness. I know you are thinking the same things.