Merry Christmas everyone! Since I don't have any kids, I figure what better way to spend Christmas than relaxing with my husband and blogging. We have already made the rounds to my dad's house and my grandma's house. Now we at home and slowly drifting into sugar comas before it is back to my dad's house for Christmas dinner.
Lately I have noticed that when I hear advice about how to live a better life and be happier, it usually includes something about how you should follow your intuition. The thing is, for me, I seem to lack that gut feeling. I don't know if I was born with it and I lost it somewhere along the way, or if I never had it at all. But if I ever stop to try and figure out what my gut feeling is, I just get more and more confused.
It probably comes from my tendency to over-think just about everything. I will think one thing is right, but then an argument will come into my head for the opposing view. Then, before you know it, I have no clue what's right or wrong, let alone what I should do. I'm not sure it there's a way to develop intuition. It would be great to feel like I have a compass that I can always depend on. Some sort of guide. But what can I do, other than try my best to make the right decisions? I never intentionally try to do the wrong thing, so maybe that is as much intuition as I need.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Virtual Reality
It seems like every time I think about blogging, something comes up to distract me from it and it never gets done. I really do like writing, but you couldn't tell from how often I do it. I actually do actively think about things to write about just about every day. One thing that has been on my mind lately is drug addicts. I'm not thinking about them in a negative way. I'm thinking about what happened in their lives to make them that way, and how great it must feel to leave all the pain behind if only for a few minutes or even seconds.
Many people look down on drug addicts because they think they a weak, or mean, or selfish, or overall bad people. But when I see a drug addict, I see a person who has felt so much pain in their life that the only way they can deal with it is to get high. Someone who is tortured by their very own thoughts and feelings. I see someone I can commiserate with.
Of course no one sets out to be a drug addict. They start out just wanting to have a little fun or forget their fears for a little while. But as life becomes harder to deal with, you want that escape more and more until you become physically dependent. I would be lying if I said I never wished for that pill that would take away all my worries and pain. To live in a drug-induced bliss might not be so bad.
The problem with that, of course, is that it never lasts. The drugs wear off, reality hits, and you are even worse off than you were before. But what if there were a blissful reality that never wore off? In the movie, The Matrix, people live in a virtual perfect world while their physical bodies are in a coma-like state. Some people don't like this because they want to experience "reality", no matter how harsh it may be. But what does it matter what is "real" or not if reality is only misery and torture? I don't know about you, but I would take a pleasurable virtual reality that feels "real" any day over a harsh "real" reality.
All of this virtual reality stuff may be getting confusing, but all I really want to say is that I have sympathy for drug addicts, and I don't blame them one one bit for wanting to escape a reality that can be all to miserable. Whether or not they can deal with reality enough to get clean is up to them. And if they never can quite get clean......I still don't blame them.
Many people look down on drug addicts because they think they a weak, or mean, or selfish, or overall bad people. But when I see a drug addict, I see a person who has felt so much pain in their life that the only way they can deal with it is to get high. Someone who is tortured by their very own thoughts and feelings. I see someone I can commiserate with.
Of course no one sets out to be a drug addict. They start out just wanting to have a little fun or forget their fears for a little while. But as life becomes harder to deal with, you want that escape more and more until you become physically dependent. I would be lying if I said I never wished for that pill that would take away all my worries and pain. To live in a drug-induced bliss might not be so bad.
The problem with that, of course, is that it never lasts. The drugs wear off, reality hits, and you are even worse off than you were before. But what if there were a blissful reality that never wore off? In the movie, The Matrix, people live in a virtual perfect world while their physical bodies are in a coma-like state. Some people don't like this because they want to experience "reality", no matter how harsh it may be. But what does it matter what is "real" or not if reality is only misery and torture? I don't know about you, but I would take a pleasurable virtual reality that feels "real" any day over a harsh "real" reality.
All of this virtual reality stuff may be getting confusing, but all I really want to say is that I have sympathy for drug addicts, and I don't blame them one one bit for wanting to escape a reality that can be all to miserable. Whether or not they can deal with reality enough to get clean is up to them. And if they never can quite get clean......I still don't blame them.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Trying Hard
Do you like my new background? I figured it was about time to challenge my computer skills once again and figure out a new look. All the text is not exactly the colors I wanted, but I have found there is only so much fine-tuning I can do with my blog before I feel like I might just have to punch the computer to get my point across. So I let the computer win the font color battle. Such is life.
I while ago I heard a song on the radio and one of the lyrics really stuck out to me. It said, "I'm trying so hard not to try so hard." Immediately this resonated with how I feel about my life a lot of the time. I try and try so hard to get things right and figure things out and live the right way, but ultimately I end up right back where I started. It's a paradox that only gets more confusing the more you think about it.
I'm not saying this because I am depressed or upset about life at the moment. Things haven't been bed. I'm only wondering if it's possible to get clarity or make much progress at all. Are humans striving for personal progress, or progress as a whole? And what constitutes progress anyway? Electronics? Medicine? Health? Art? Religion? What is the ultimate goal? What should we be "trying hard" at?
I don't suppose life will get any less confusing. I guess the best advice is to take one day at a time. Be kind to others. Do your best. Try to leave the world better off than when you entered it. And, most of all, enjoy yourself when you can, because, from what I can tell, it is all over way too fast.
I while ago I heard a song on the radio and one of the lyrics really stuck out to me. It said, "I'm trying so hard not to try so hard." Immediately this resonated with how I feel about my life a lot of the time. I try and try so hard to get things right and figure things out and live the right way, but ultimately I end up right back where I started. It's a paradox that only gets more confusing the more you think about it.
I'm not saying this because I am depressed or upset about life at the moment. Things haven't been bed. I'm only wondering if it's possible to get clarity or make much progress at all. Are humans striving for personal progress, or progress as a whole? And what constitutes progress anyway? Electronics? Medicine? Health? Art? Religion? What is the ultimate goal? What should we be "trying hard" at?
I don't suppose life will get any less confusing. I guess the best advice is to take one day at a time. Be kind to others. Do your best. Try to leave the world better off than when you entered it. And, most of all, enjoy yourself when you can, because, from what I can tell, it is all over way too fast.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Expectations
I knew it had been a while since I wrote, but I didn't realize it had been over a month. Geez! I need to crack down on myself. In my defense, life has been mostly uneventful, and blog topics don't just grow on trees. But now Mike's work schedule is changing so we won't have any days off together, and I will find myself with a lot more alone time. Time I can spend pondering what to write.....
So! You know that saying, "Where much is given, much is expected"? I hate that saying. You know why? Because people don't ask to be given much. That's the definition of a 'gift'. It it weren't a gift, you would be taking or borrowing. It would then make much more sense if the saying was, "Where much is taken, much is expected." If you have something taken from you, you could reasonably expect to get something back in a form of payment. But if you are giving things away, you really shouldn't be expecting anything.
In general, I have found expectations to be harmful and useless things. Nine times out of ten, when I expect something, it doesn't happen, or it doesn't happen how I thought it would. This usually leads to disappointment, which is never fun. Why can't people be happy with what already exists, and if something good happens, be all the happier? Why do they have to get their hopes up, only to have them squashed?
I know it is important to have hopes and dreams. Our desire to learn and progress is part of what makes us human. But I draw the line at expectations. I guess you could say hope is a more generalized form of expecting. You hope for the best, but you don't expect it. You hope your kid is smart after you paid for the best private schools, but you don't expect it. You hope you don't get cancer, but you don't expect it when so many people do get it. You hope your small business will be a success, but you don't expect it when the failure rate is so high.
I guess what I am trying to say, it that when you expect things to happen a certain way and they don't, your happiness takes a blow. But if you hope for things to happen the way you want, not as much harm is done if they don't happen. I would say hope is the way to go, instead of expecting. But who am I to say? Try it for yourself.
So! You know that saying, "Where much is given, much is expected"? I hate that saying. You know why? Because people don't ask to be given much. That's the definition of a 'gift'. It it weren't a gift, you would be taking or borrowing. It would then make much more sense if the saying was, "Where much is taken, much is expected." If you have something taken from you, you could reasonably expect to get something back in a form of payment. But if you are giving things away, you really shouldn't be expecting anything.
In general, I have found expectations to be harmful and useless things. Nine times out of ten, when I expect something, it doesn't happen, or it doesn't happen how I thought it would. This usually leads to disappointment, which is never fun. Why can't people be happy with what already exists, and if something good happens, be all the happier? Why do they have to get their hopes up, only to have them squashed?
I know it is important to have hopes and dreams. Our desire to learn and progress is part of what makes us human. But I draw the line at expectations. I guess you could say hope is a more generalized form of expecting. You hope for the best, but you don't expect it. You hope your kid is smart after you paid for the best private schools, but you don't expect it. You hope you don't get cancer, but you don't expect it when so many people do get it. You hope your small business will be a success, but you don't expect it when the failure rate is so high.
I guess what I am trying to say, it that when you expect things to happen a certain way and they don't, your happiness takes a blow. But if you hope for things to happen the way you want, not as much harm is done if they don't happen. I would say hope is the way to go, instead of expecting. But who am I to say? Try it for yourself.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Travels
I was accurate when I predicted that work would take me away from blogging, but that's not the only reason I haven't posted in a while. Earlier this month I helped my brother and his family move to Louisiana so his wife could pursue her PhD at LSU. Then, this weekend, Mike took me on a small getaway to Park City to celebrate our anniversary which I was gone for because of my Louisiana trip. Riding to Louisiana in a moving truck that couldn't go faster than 60 mph was a challenge, so going to Park City was really the perfect little vacation to recharge.
For my trip to Louisiana, I rode with my brother, David, and gave him directions while the kids, his wife, and his wife's friend went ahead in the other car. We spent the night in Flagstaff, AZ, Albuquerque, NM, and Dallas, TX, before arriving in Baton Rouge, LA. I spent one full day in Baton Rouge, and then flew back to Utah early the next morning. I wish I could have stayed longer since it is hard being away from my family, and it was also interesting seeing a new place that is so different from where I live. But at the same time, I am very happy to be back home where I feel most comfortable. I don't know what it is about the mountains, but I love them so much, I don't think I could live somewhere that doesn't have them. For me, they mean stability, direction, beauty, and something constant and permanent in an ever-changing civilization.
I didn't take many pictures during my ride to Louisiana because, well, there wasn't really much to see. Lots of barren desert in Arizona and New Mexico, grassy plains and windmills in Texas, and trees and moisture in Louisiana. Here are a few of the pictures I did take.
These are some rock formations I found interesting. I think they were in Arizona?
This was one of quite a few rivers we crossed. I seemed to have an obsession with taking pictures of the rivers, but I don't why because they are really not that interesting. So I will only subject you to the one picture.
This is the house from the t.v. show "Breaking Bad". David and I drove around in Albuquerque to find some of the show locations. It was fun not just because of seeing the show locations, but also because I was born in Albuquerque. My family moved away when I was still a baby, so it was was kind of special to re-visit the place where I first started my life. I would love to return sometime when I have more time to enjoy it.
This is what Louisiana looks like, in case you were wondering. Trees and trees for as far as you can see. Kind of pretty, but also makes you feel a little isolated. When we got to Baton Rouge on the fourth day, it was already evening and we had to unload the moving truck. However, the air conditioning wasn't working in the new apartment, and we had to carry things up two flights of stairs, so things got really sweaty really fast. I think I got a better workout that night than I have ever had in my life. The next day was all about unpacking, driving around and getting oriented to the new place, and getting a bunk bed for the kids. In all hustle, I never did get to try any true Louisiana food, which was something I really wanted to do. I guess I will just have to go back to visit when things have calmed down.
This post is on the verge of getting incredibly long, but I can't stop without writing a little about Mike and I's awesome weekend in Park City. I don't think I could have had a more perfect vacation. The hotel room was beautiful. The hot tub and pool were relaxing. The food was delicious. The zip line was exhilarating. Here are a few pictures of our very nice hotel room.
I don't think I have ever stayed in a room that nice. It even smelled fresh! In the morning, we took the complimentary shuttle to breakfast at a small cafe by the water. The view could not have been more gorgeous.
The rest of the day was spent conquering the zip-line, soaking in the pool, and strolling through the small shops on main street. Mike and I enjoyed every second of the much-needed relaxation. We only wish it could have lasted longer. I'm sure we will be returning in the future.
For my trip to Louisiana, I rode with my brother, David, and gave him directions while the kids, his wife, and his wife's friend went ahead in the other car. We spent the night in Flagstaff, AZ, Albuquerque, NM, and Dallas, TX, before arriving in Baton Rouge, LA. I spent one full day in Baton Rouge, and then flew back to Utah early the next morning. I wish I could have stayed longer since it is hard being away from my family, and it was also interesting seeing a new place that is so different from where I live. But at the same time, I am very happy to be back home where I feel most comfortable. I don't know what it is about the mountains, but I love them so much, I don't think I could live somewhere that doesn't have them. For me, they mean stability, direction, beauty, and something constant and permanent in an ever-changing civilization.
I didn't take many pictures during my ride to Louisiana because, well, there wasn't really much to see. Lots of barren desert in Arizona and New Mexico, grassy plains and windmills in Texas, and trees and moisture in Louisiana. Here are a few of the pictures I did take.
These are some rock formations I found interesting. I think they were in Arizona?
This was one of quite a few rivers we crossed. I seemed to have an obsession with taking pictures of the rivers, but I don't why because they are really not that interesting. So I will only subject you to the one picture.
This is the house from the t.v. show "Breaking Bad". David and I drove around in Albuquerque to find some of the show locations. It was fun not just because of seeing the show locations, but also because I was born in Albuquerque. My family moved away when I was still a baby, so it was was kind of special to re-visit the place where I first started my life. I would love to return sometime when I have more time to enjoy it.
This is what Louisiana looks like, in case you were wondering. Trees and trees for as far as you can see. Kind of pretty, but also makes you feel a little isolated. When we got to Baton Rouge on the fourth day, it was already evening and we had to unload the moving truck. However, the air conditioning wasn't working in the new apartment, and we had to carry things up two flights of stairs, so things got really sweaty really fast. I think I got a better workout that night than I have ever had in my life. The next day was all about unpacking, driving around and getting oriented to the new place, and getting a bunk bed for the kids. In all hustle, I never did get to try any true Louisiana food, which was something I really wanted to do. I guess I will just have to go back to visit when things have calmed down.
This post is on the verge of getting incredibly long, but I can't stop without writing a little about Mike and I's awesome weekend in Park City. I don't think I could have had a more perfect vacation. The hotel room was beautiful. The hot tub and pool were relaxing. The food was delicious. The zip line was exhilarating. Here are a few pictures of our very nice hotel room.
I don't think I have ever stayed in a room that nice. It even smelled fresh! In the morning, we took the complimentary shuttle to breakfast at a small cafe by the water. The view could not have been more gorgeous.
The rest of the day was spent conquering the zip-line, soaking in the pool, and strolling through the small shops on main street. Mike and I enjoyed every second of the much-needed relaxation. We only wish it could have lasted longer. I'm sure we will be returning in the future.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Getting To Know You
I will be returning to my tax form job soon, so I have been trying to squeeze in a bit more blog writing before the inevitable lack of free time comes along. I am excited to be going back, but also a little sad about less time to myself.
As a shy sort of person, I don't become close to very many people. That's not to say that I don't enjoy being around people. In fact, I would say I like being around people more often than not. The problem arises when it comes to trusting people. More than once in my life, I have gotten close to someone, only to be severely hurt by that person later on. That's why it's hard for me to get close to people. The logic goes like this - If you share your innermost feelings and secrets with someone, that person can use those things against you if you have a falling out. I not only keep most of my feelings and secrets to myself, but just about everything about me, because I am extra cautious.
The problem with this logic is that you may be safe from getting hurt, but you also never feel the joy and connection that can come from being close to people. Sometimes I wish I could break through my shyness and really connect with other people, then other times I remember the horrible hurt that others can dish out. So I suppose it is wise to be careful with your thoughts and feelings, and to look for people who have an aura of kindness about them. (I have always been drawn to really nice people who don't judge, and I strive to be that same kind of person.) But ultimately, you will always have to take that leap of faith if you want to connect with someone.
As a shy sort of person, I don't become close to very many people. That's not to say that I don't enjoy being around people. In fact, I would say I like being around people more often than not. The problem arises when it comes to trusting people. More than once in my life, I have gotten close to someone, only to be severely hurt by that person later on. That's why it's hard for me to get close to people. The logic goes like this - If you share your innermost feelings and secrets with someone, that person can use those things against you if you have a falling out. I not only keep most of my feelings and secrets to myself, but just about everything about me, because I am extra cautious.
The problem with this logic is that you may be safe from getting hurt, but you also never feel the joy and connection that can come from being close to people. Sometimes I wish I could break through my shyness and really connect with other people, then other times I remember the horrible hurt that others can dish out. So I suppose it is wise to be careful with your thoughts and feelings, and to look for people who have an aura of kindness about them. (I have always been drawn to really nice people who don't judge, and I strive to be that same kind of person.) But ultimately, you will always have to take that leap of faith if you want to connect with someone.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Pointless Paperlessness
I may have written about this subject before, but I get forgetful in my old age, and frankly, I don't think anyone cares if I repeat myself. So here it goes.....
So many businesses are advocating "going paperless" these days, and I can't understand what all the hype is about. They want you to get e-mail statements instead of getting a bill or statement mailed to you. I understand that companies do this to save money on mailing, but what exactly is the benefit to me? According to the companies, the benefit is less paper clutter for me and I am helping the environment by using less paper. I don't buy that for a second. Let me tell you why.
Going paperless doesn't create less clutter for me because I would have to print out a copy of all my documents for my files. If anything, that is more wasteful because I have to buy incredibly expensive ink for my printer when a big company could print off millions of statements for a fraction of the cost. I guess I could file my documents electronically on the the computer, but that makes me very nervous for a couple of reasons. One, the computer could crash and I could loose all my information. Two, I am much better at organizing files when I have a physical copy. Things seem to get lost and forgotten in the cyber world. Finally, I don't like the idea of receiving personal information through e-mail. Most e-mail is not very secure, and if the information is not directly in the e-mail and I have to sign into a website to get my statement, that is, again, more work for me.
I also don't buy into the idea that going paperless is helping the environment. Even if I decided to get all my statements electronically, I would still go out to my mailbox and find huge wads of ads stuffed in there EVERY DAY. I don't ask for these ads, and they usually go straight into the recycling bin before I even look at them. It seems very inappropriate to say that my tiny amount of bills is hurting the environment when companies are sending out truckloads of ads that people don't even want.
I have been resisting the paperless craze for a while now, but I may give in someday when it becomes impossible to resist the forward flow of new technology. Call me old fashioned, but I am reluctant to rely on any sort of technology too much. So until companies absolutely refuse to send me a paper statement, I will take paper, and let them provide a small service to me for being a customer.
So many businesses are advocating "going paperless" these days, and I can't understand what all the hype is about. They want you to get e-mail statements instead of getting a bill or statement mailed to you. I understand that companies do this to save money on mailing, but what exactly is the benefit to me? According to the companies, the benefit is less paper clutter for me and I am helping the environment by using less paper. I don't buy that for a second. Let me tell you why.
Going paperless doesn't create less clutter for me because I would have to print out a copy of all my documents for my files. If anything, that is more wasteful because I have to buy incredibly expensive ink for my printer when a big company could print off millions of statements for a fraction of the cost. I guess I could file my documents electronically on the the computer, but that makes me very nervous for a couple of reasons. One, the computer could crash and I could loose all my information. Two, I am much better at organizing files when I have a physical copy. Things seem to get lost and forgotten in the cyber world. Finally, I don't like the idea of receiving personal information through e-mail. Most e-mail is not very secure, and if the information is not directly in the e-mail and I have to sign into a website to get my statement, that is, again, more work for me.
I also don't buy into the idea that going paperless is helping the environment. Even if I decided to get all my statements electronically, I would still go out to my mailbox and find huge wads of ads stuffed in there EVERY DAY. I don't ask for these ads, and they usually go straight into the recycling bin before I even look at them. It seems very inappropriate to say that my tiny amount of bills is hurting the environment when companies are sending out truckloads of ads that people don't even want.
I have been resisting the paperless craze for a while now, but I may give in someday when it becomes impossible to resist the forward flow of new technology. Call me old fashioned, but I am reluctant to rely on any sort of technology too much. So until companies absolutely refuse to send me a paper statement, I will take paper, and let them provide a small service to me for being a customer.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Small and Simple
I have always liked restaurants or businesses that are small. I'm not sure what it is about them. Sure you get more personalized service, but there is also a difference in the quality of the products. It's like when you start to mass-produce something, it looses a bit of what made it special in the first place. The attention to detail is lacking, and the quality suffers for it.
In this day of assembly lines and mass productions, businesses want their products to be all the same so they can guarantee the same quality to everyone. I have even heard of pigs being genetically engineered to be all the same so that the slaughtering machines will cut them in the same place. But what these people don't understand, is that taking the randomness out of a process creates even bigger problems. Problems like the genetically-altered pigs being so susceptible to disease that they have to be isolated in specially-built, climate-controlled buildings. Problems like poor-quality wood from growing trees too fast to be harvested. Problems like antibiotic-resistant bacteria from trying to kill every single bacteria in our food. Problems like massive waste because products aren't made to last, so we just keep constantly buying new ones. Problems like resources lost towards packaging and transporting food.
I wish we could have more small businesses around, but the hard fact is that big businesses make it nearly impossible for small ones to thrive. I don't think humans will change the path they are on until something tragic happens, and even then it may be too late to turn back. All I can do it my little part to buy locally, recycle, and waste as little as possible. Who knows if it will be enough?
In this day of assembly lines and mass productions, businesses want their products to be all the same so they can guarantee the same quality to everyone. I have even heard of pigs being genetically engineered to be all the same so that the slaughtering machines will cut them in the same place. But what these people don't understand, is that taking the randomness out of a process creates even bigger problems. Problems like the genetically-altered pigs being so susceptible to disease that they have to be isolated in specially-built, climate-controlled buildings. Problems like poor-quality wood from growing trees too fast to be harvested. Problems like antibiotic-resistant bacteria from trying to kill every single bacteria in our food. Problems like massive waste because products aren't made to last, so we just keep constantly buying new ones. Problems like resources lost towards packaging and transporting food.
I wish we could have more small businesses around, but the hard fact is that big businesses make it nearly impossible for small ones to thrive. I don't think humans will change the path they are on until something tragic happens, and even then it may be too late to turn back. All I can do it my little part to buy locally, recycle, and waste as little as possible. Who knows if it will be enough?
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Breaking The Mold
It is sometimes very frustrating to me that we live in a society where being outgoing is valued above just about every other trait. You see a job posting, and what do they want? Someone outgoing. You look at businesses, and who do they want? Leaders. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being outgoing. In fact, being outgoing can be a great quality. But, what people don't recognize, is that being introverted can be just as great. The world needs both of these qualities, yet American society would have you believe that we only need extroverts.
I may have mentioned here before that I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain. Well, I think it bares mentioning again because I can't say how much this book did for me. It made me understand that there is nothing wrong with being quiet, and that introverts actually have many strengths that extroverts do not.
Even though I now know that being introverted is a good thing, I still have to live in a society that believes otherwise. Almost every job, and school, and social setting is geared toward extroverts, and that can make it very difficult for introverts to shine. It is like being a left-handed person in a crowd of right-handed people. You are just as capable, but you do things a little differently. Yet, things are a little harder for you because everything is made for the right-handed people.
I wish more people could recognize the strengths of introverts rather than pushing them to be like the extroverts. Introverts can be extroverted at times, but it is much more physically and mentally taxing for them than it is for more natural extroverts. So they need a break from always trying to fit into the extroverted mold of society. I hope my blog can help spread the word, in some small way, that the world would benefit from more introverted inclusion. And if you haven't read Quiet yet, get on that!
I may have mentioned here before that I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain. Well, I think it bares mentioning again because I can't say how much this book did for me. It made me understand that there is nothing wrong with being quiet, and that introverts actually have many strengths that extroverts do not.
Even though I now know that being introverted is a good thing, I still have to live in a society that believes otherwise. Almost every job, and school, and social setting is geared toward extroverts, and that can make it very difficult for introverts to shine. It is like being a left-handed person in a crowd of right-handed people. You are just as capable, but you do things a little differently. Yet, things are a little harder for you because everything is made for the right-handed people.
I wish more people could recognize the strengths of introverts rather than pushing them to be like the extroverts. Introverts can be extroverted at times, but it is much more physically and mentally taxing for them than it is for more natural extroverts. So they need a break from always trying to fit into the extroverted mold of society. I hope my blog can help spread the word, in some small way, that the world would benefit from more introverted inclusion. And if you haven't read Quiet yet, get on that!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Living Offline
I watched a show the other day about people who are addicted to the internet, and specifically social media. These people could spend 12 to 16 hours on the internet each day. I feel bad for the addiction these people have, but at the same time it makes me feel a little better about my own internet usage. Believe me when I say I know how it feels to get sucked into the hole of endless clicking. In fact, I think most people these days can relate to that. But I am proud of the fact that I make an effort not to let the internet suck me in for hours. And that's what it takes - effort. These days it is so easy to get lost in the virtual world and forget about the real world that is all around you. Sure, the real world can be harsh at times. But it can also be amazing, and you can miss out on that if you are stuck watching funny videos of cats or wishing a happy birthday to someone on Facebook who you were friends with 10 years ago.
While there is a lot to be learned from the internet, I am a firm believer that getting out and experiencing things is the way to go. I'm not sure what it is, but there is something to be said about being present in a moment and experiencing it firsthand with all of your senses. That goes for taking pictures and recording videos as well. It's great to have pictures as mementos, but you loose something when you are constantly behind the lens taking pictures of every moment. You are not truly experiencing the moment, and you end up with millions of pictures that don't mean much to you because all you were thinking about at the moment was getting a good shot.
I suppose it is slightly hypocritical of me to talk about getting out and experiencing things when I am a homebody who prefers curling up with a book or a movie to most other outside activities. But I realize the importance of not getting lost inside myself, and I make an effort to "get out there". I'm not saying I am better than anyone else. I just have my views on what is important and I try to live accordingly. I wish all the best for those internet addicts. I hope they realize what they are missing out on and can find a way to make a change.
While there is a lot to be learned from the internet, I am a firm believer that getting out and experiencing things is the way to go. I'm not sure what it is, but there is something to be said about being present in a moment and experiencing it firsthand with all of your senses. That goes for taking pictures and recording videos as well. It's great to have pictures as mementos, but you loose something when you are constantly behind the lens taking pictures of every moment. You are not truly experiencing the moment, and you end up with millions of pictures that don't mean much to you because all you were thinking about at the moment was getting a good shot.
I suppose it is slightly hypocritical of me to talk about getting out and experiencing things when I am a homebody who prefers curling up with a book or a movie to most other outside activities. But I realize the importance of not getting lost inside myself, and I make an effort to "get out there". I'm not saying I am better than anyone else. I just have my views on what is important and I try to live accordingly. I wish all the best for those internet addicts. I hope they realize what they are missing out on and can find a way to make a change.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Worthless Rambling
I've been wanting to post for a while but it always seems like when I want to write the most is when I can't think of any topic I would want to write about. So I figure if I start typing, something good may come out. Otherwise, I apologize in advance for my worthless rambling.
Summer is here, and while I enjoy the summer time, it never holds quite the joy that it did when I was a kid. Kid summer time means no school, cool vacations, swimming, fireworks, and overall goofing off. Adult summer time means work as always, house chores, yard work, maybe a trip to the pool here or there, maybe a small vacation if you are lucky, a dog who is terrified of fireworks, and absolutely no goofing off. I really don't mind most of my responsibilities, but there is a small sadness in knowing you can never again forget them and be like you were when you were a kid.
Speaking of dogs who are afraid of fireworks, Bear has been doing well, but is all around nervous a lot of the time. I don't remember her being so uptight previously, but maybe it just comes from a combination of the sound of the wind (terrifying), the sound of the construction across the street (terrifying), Mike and I being away from home for a few hours (terrifying), and the fact that she was sick for about a week (overall crummy). Although I would contend that the sickness was just as crummy for me since I had to scrub diarrhea out of the carpet not once but twice, and our whole house smelled like we lived on the inside of a dirty diaper. Who knows, maybe it still smells like that and my sense of smell just gave up.
An employee at the pet store recommended we feed Bear chicken and rice to settle her stomach and while I know Bear didn't feel well, she certainly felt well enough to scarf that down within five seconds. Here is a picture of her eagerly awaiting the preparation of her food, which took about half an hour.
Who couldn't love a face like that? Anyway, we are very happy she is feeling better. Hopefully the rest of the summer will contain less diarrhea scrubbing and more of the fun kid stuff.
Summer is here, and while I enjoy the summer time, it never holds quite the joy that it did when I was a kid. Kid summer time means no school, cool vacations, swimming, fireworks, and overall goofing off. Adult summer time means work as always, house chores, yard work, maybe a trip to the pool here or there, maybe a small vacation if you are lucky, a dog who is terrified of fireworks, and absolutely no goofing off. I really don't mind most of my responsibilities, but there is a small sadness in knowing you can never again forget them and be like you were when you were a kid.
Speaking of dogs who are afraid of fireworks, Bear has been doing well, but is all around nervous a lot of the time. I don't remember her being so uptight previously, but maybe it just comes from a combination of the sound of the wind (terrifying), the sound of the construction across the street (terrifying), Mike and I being away from home for a few hours (terrifying), and the fact that she was sick for about a week (overall crummy). Although I would contend that the sickness was just as crummy for me since I had to scrub diarrhea out of the carpet not once but twice, and our whole house smelled like we lived on the inside of a dirty diaper. Who knows, maybe it still smells like that and my sense of smell just gave up.
An employee at the pet store recommended we feed Bear chicken and rice to settle her stomach and while I know Bear didn't feel well, she certainly felt well enough to scarf that down within five seconds. Here is a picture of her eagerly awaiting the preparation of her food, which took about half an hour.
Who couldn't love a face like that? Anyway, we are very happy she is feeling better. Hopefully the rest of the summer will contain less diarrhea scrubbing and more of the fun kid stuff.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Heading In The Right Direction
In my last post I wrote about the book I was reading and since then I have been thinking a lot about a line from that book that really gave me some insight. It goes something like this - "There is no point in running if you don't know what direction to run." As you may know by now, I have quite a few fears and anxieties. But lately, when I start to get scared I think of that sentence. I think to myself, "Is this something I can run from, and if so, do I know which way to run?" This thought process almost always calms me down because it allows me to accept what is, rather than plotting all the possible escape routes. I am better able to stand up to my fears rather than constantly running and hiding and getting nowhere.
This coping mechanism doesn't always work. For example, when you think you know which way to run, but it turns out to be the completely wrong way, or when the fear is too big for you to fight and you crumple under the pressure. But for the most part, it has been a handy tool for making me feel better. God knows I need it with all the scary things out there. Maybe you need it too, which is why I am sharing.
This coping mechanism doesn't always work. For example, when you think you know which way to run, but it turns out to be the completely wrong way, or when the fear is too big for you to fight and you crumple under the pressure. But for the most part, it has been a handy tool for making me feel better. God knows I need it with all the scary things out there. Maybe you need it too, which is why I am sharing.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
All Natural
I am in the middle of reading a book that I got from the library called All Natural by Nathanael Johnson. The description on the cover reads as follows - "A skeptic's quest to discover if the natural approach to diet, childbirth, healing, and the environment really keeps us healthier and happier." I was intrigued when I saw this because I am always wondering if natural is better, as so many people think. As I started reading, I quickly learned that there are no solid conclusions about this matter. (Like just about everything in life.) The answers usually lie somewhere in the middle ground between natural and unnatural. (Johnson even points out that we can sometime confuse the natural and unnatural.) But he does do a lot of research that can help people make more informed (and hopefully better) decisions. I like his writing style because this could easily turn into one of those books where the author spouts off about what he believes and you are left wondering what is true. But this author actually did the investigating and, in the end, leaves you to decide what you believe.
In one chapter, Johnson sets out to find out if sugar is really as bad for us as everyone claims. What he found is that eating sugar produces dopamine, which causes compulsion without pleasure. He goes on to say - "The sales pitch that promises everything and delivers nothing - that tickles our wanting neurons while making sure we can't get no satisfaction - relies wholly on confusing pleasure with desire. Perhaps it could be defeated by simply learning to distinguish the one from the other. For food, this would mean learning to truly taste - slowing down enough to take pleasure in the flavors and textures in each bite. Food corporations have learned to cater to what they call 'the lazy American palate,' which basically means lots of sugar, fat, and salt. They don't waste subtle flavors on us because, in the grip of a dopamine-driven desire, people stop tasting. When I ate this way I was trying to muffle craving, not produce pleasure. The problem of gluttony is not too much love of food, but too little." This was a revelation to me be because I always had a feeling that people would become more healthy if they didn't only change WHAT they eat, but HOW they eat.
I added the quote from the book as an example of one of the things I have learned from reading it. But truthfully, I couldn't add every quote that enlightened and inspired me because they were on almost every page of the book. I am considering buying my own copy, just so I can highlight the things I find interesting and refer back to them from time to time. I can not recommend this book highly enough, and I don't do it justice in my writing, so you might as well just go get it right now. GO ON! GET OUT OF HERE!
In one chapter, Johnson sets out to find out if sugar is really as bad for us as everyone claims. What he found is that eating sugar produces dopamine, which causes compulsion without pleasure. He goes on to say - "The sales pitch that promises everything and delivers nothing - that tickles our wanting neurons while making sure we can't get no satisfaction - relies wholly on confusing pleasure with desire. Perhaps it could be defeated by simply learning to distinguish the one from the other. For food, this would mean learning to truly taste - slowing down enough to take pleasure in the flavors and textures in each bite. Food corporations have learned to cater to what they call 'the lazy American palate,' which basically means lots of sugar, fat, and salt. They don't waste subtle flavors on us because, in the grip of a dopamine-driven desire, people stop tasting. When I ate this way I was trying to muffle craving, not produce pleasure. The problem of gluttony is not too much love of food, but too little." This was a revelation to me be because I always had a feeling that people would become more healthy if they didn't only change WHAT they eat, but HOW they eat.
I added the quote from the book as an example of one of the things I have learned from reading it. But truthfully, I couldn't add every quote that enlightened and inspired me because they were on almost every page of the book. I am considering buying my own copy, just so I can highlight the things I find interesting and refer back to them from time to time. I can not recommend this book highly enough, and I don't do it justice in my writing, so you might as well just go get it right now. GO ON! GET OUT OF HERE!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Striving For Fearlessness
I've been feeling sickly since yesterday. It doesn't seem like a cold, unless the the cough and sniffles are still to come. I just feel totally run-down and all I want to do is lay on the couch all day. While I never enjoy being sick, it's not too bad to have an excuse to do nothing. When I am not sick, I feel like this -
So being sick tunes that down to about 100 tabs. :-) But seriously, I over-think way too many things. I think it comes from from being afraid to make mistakes. If I make mistakes, bad things might happen, and then everything might go to shit. Logically, I know that we learn from mistakes, and all mistakes can't be avoided, and everyone makes mistakes, and blah blah blah. But we all know that logic seldom wins. Emotions rule, and they are fickle little buggers. So when I feel afraid to do something, or to not do something, that fear rules.
We have all heard sayings like, "The only thing to fear is fear itself." I don't know what those people did who only fear fear, but I sure as hell can't figure out how to do it. Maybe it comes from not having very many bad things happen to you. That way you have no fear because you don't know how bad things could be. Or maybe it comes from having so many bad things happen to you that you have no fear left because you have already experienced the worst.
Either way, I must be stuck somewhere in-between, because fear is a frequent visitor. I sure hope I can find my fearless side one day. It would be nice to have a sick day from fear and anxiety without actually being sick.
So being sick tunes that down to about 100 tabs. :-) But seriously, I over-think way too many things. I think it comes from from being afraid to make mistakes. If I make mistakes, bad things might happen, and then everything might go to shit. Logically, I know that we learn from mistakes, and all mistakes can't be avoided, and everyone makes mistakes, and blah blah blah. But we all know that logic seldom wins. Emotions rule, and they are fickle little buggers. So when I feel afraid to do something, or to not do something, that fear rules.
We have all heard sayings like, "The only thing to fear is fear itself." I don't know what those people did who only fear fear, but I sure as hell can't figure out how to do it. Maybe it comes from not having very many bad things happen to you. That way you have no fear because you don't know how bad things could be. Or maybe it comes from having so many bad things happen to you that you have no fear left because you have already experienced the worst.
Either way, I must be stuck somewhere in-between, because fear is a frequent visitor. I sure hope I can find my fearless side one day. It would be nice to have a sick day from fear and anxiety without actually being sick.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Missed the Boat
Being back at my retail job gives me oodles of spare time to do whatever my little heart desires. That's the problem. It's not that I can't think of things to do. Ask me right now and I could give you a list a mile long of things I COULD do. I could clean, do the dishes, wash the car, work in the yard for days on end, draw, paint, craft, cook, read, scrapbook, watch t.v., listen to music, go to the store, call someone, make a goal, exercise, plan a trip, look at funny videos on Youtube, and on, and on....... But do I feel motivated to do any of those things? No. Do I have a burning desire to do anything? Not really.
Maybe some people are born with the drive to make something out of their life, or maybe they somehow develop it over time. Either way, I seem to have missed the boat. I am ambivalent about almost anything, and if I try to develop a love for something I usually end up disliking it instead.
Take college for example. A lot of people go into it not totally sure what they want to major in. The general advice is usually to take a few introductory classes, and once you find something you like, you will want to learn more about it, and so you will take the more advanced classes. Not so with me. Sure I liked plenty of the introductory classes. But once I got to the higher-level classes, I quickly got overwhelmed, and learned to hate what I really liked previously.
I don't know where I am going with this other than to say, finding a purpose to your life is not as easy as it seems. The one thing I thought I always wanted will probably never happen, so I am stuck with no Plan B. When people ask me why I don't go back to school, I don't know what to say. How can I explain that no amount of soul searching thus far has produced a drive or a passion for anything? Should I just pick a career out of a hat and go for it? Do I need some kind of mood-altering drugs to make me excited and ambitious? I really don't like that idea since it is my opinion that most drugs do more harm than good. Well, at least I have plenty of time to wait for the ambition boat to come back around. Let's hope that it does.
Maybe some people are born with the drive to make something out of their life, or maybe they somehow develop it over time. Either way, I seem to have missed the boat. I am ambivalent about almost anything, and if I try to develop a love for something I usually end up disliking it instead.
Take college for example. A lot of people go into it not totally sure what they want to major in. The general advice is usually to take a few introductory classes, and once you find something you like, you will want to learn more about it, and so you will take the more advanced classes. Not so with me. Sure I liked plenty of the introductory classes. But once I got to the higher-level classes, I quickly got overwhelmed, and learned to hate what I really liked previously.
I don't know where I am going with this other than to say, finding a purpose to your life is not as easy as it seems. The one thing I thought I always wanted will probably never happen, so I am stuck with no Plan B. When people ask me why I don't go back to school, I don't know what to say. How can I explain that no amount of soul searching thus far has produced a drive or a passion for anything? Should I just pick a career out of a hat and go for it? Do I need some kind of mood-altering drugs to make me excited and ambitious? I really don't like that idea since it is my opinion that most drugs do more harm than good. Well, at least I have plenty of time to wait for the ambition boat to come back around. Let's hope that it does.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Long and Tedious
The past few weeks I have been struggling to get a new pair of glasses. Struggling? Yes, struggling. You wouldn't think it would be too hard, and it never has been until this time.
I noticed my eyesight seemed a little worse a few months ago. (Probably from reading all those tax forms. But I also read in a magazine that as we age the muscles in our eyes get weaker, making it harder to adjust them. How depressing is that?) ANYWAY, I have accepted poor eyesight as a part of my life. Both of my parents wore glasses almost their entire lives, so I couldn't really expect to dodge that bullet.
I went through an anti-glasses phase where I would only wear contacts, but that ended abruptly when my contacts starting doing less "helping me see better", and starting doing more "making my eyes feel like they were on fire". I know there are now better contacts out there that don't hurt like hell, but I have become accustomed to the ease of glasses so much so, that when I am not wearing them, I almost feel naked.
That brings me back to my new glasses. I had grown very attached to my old glasses, so I wanted the new ones to be just as great. When you wear something on your face everyday of your life, nothing short of perfection will do.
Mike found a really nice eye doctor whose office is near our work. So I went there and got an exam and everything was great. But then I had to deal with the receptionists. They were friendly, of course, and one of them tried to help me pick out some new frames. But I quickly became overwhelmed when she kept piling frame after frame in front of me and asking me to narrow it down. I wanted to be very sure of something I would be wearing everyday, but I ended up just picking one because it felt rude not to buy from the place that did my exam.
Fast forward about four days, and my new glasses are ready to pick up. I pick them up, and right off the bat, I am not sure if they are right for me. Not to mention, the receptionist just handed them to me and didn't ask much about how they felt. Later that day, I discovered that they where not, in fact, transition lenses like they where supposed to be. So I decide since I am going to have to return them anyway, I might as well get some frames that I like better. I found some at Shopko that I was much more comfortable with, even though they seemed slightly crooked since I bought the floor model. I was confident, however, that the eye doctor could fix that.
The next Monday, Mike takes my glasses in to be exchanged and they assure him that they can get the right lenses and fix the crooked frames. They DO NOT give me any sort of compensation for screwing up the first pair. In fact, they charge an extra $71 for an anti-glare coating that I decided I wanted. "Oh well", I thought, "at least I will finally get what I want."
Fast forward TWO WEEKS. (No more fast service when they have to do it right.) My glasses are ready again and I pick them up, and I can immediately tell they have not been straightened, so I ask the receptionist about it and she says, "I assume they straightened them." "ASSUME?!" I think, "Why can't you fucking make sure you do what I ask for?" Still, I hold it in and try to ignore the feeling since the smiling receptionist and Mike both tell me that they look straight. Once again, the receptionist doesn't ask if they need to be adjusted. She just sends me on my merry way.
Later that day, I discover that my new glasses slide down my nose every time I look down, and I can't take it anymore. I burst into tears, put on my old, comfy glasses, and spent the rest of the day sulking and defeated.
I refused to wear my new glasses or to do anything about them until today, when I finally got out of my funk. I decided to make one last effort and bring them into Shopko to see if anything could be done. Low and behold, a sweet old lady working at the eye center spent about five minutes with my glasses, and they felt wonderful! I was on cloud nine, and the eye center lady might as well have been an angel. I am so relieved, I don't even care much if they look good on me. They FEEL good, and that makes me ecstatic.
Here are a few pictures to break up this long, and probably very boring, story.
My old glasses. (Still my first love.)
The first pair. (Not too bad, but not right for me.)
The final, and hopefully last, pair for a long time.
They will still take a little getting used to, but I am so glad the whole thing is over with. I will probably never return to that very nice eye doctor. Sorry, but your receptionists, and the place that makes your lenses, suck.
I noticed my eyesight seemed a little worse a few months ago. (Probably from reading all those tax forms. But I also read in a magazine that as we age the muscles in our eyes get weaker, making it harder to adjust them. How depressing is that?) ANYWAY, I have accepted poor eyesight as a part of my life. Both of my parents wore glasses almost their entire lives, so I couldn't really expect to dodge that bullet.
I went through an anti-glasses phase where I would only wear contacts, but that ended abruptly when my contacts starting doing less "helping me see better", and starting doing more "making my eyes feel like they were on fire". I know there are now better contacts out there that don't hurt like hell, but I have become accustomed to the ease of glasses so much so, that when I am not wearing them, I almost feel naked.
That brings me back to my new glasses. I had grown very attached to my old glasses, so I wanted the new ones to be just as great. When you wear something on your face everyday of your life, nothing short of perfection will do.
Mike found a really nice eye doctor whose office is near our work. So I went there and got an exam and everything was great. But then I had to deal with the receptionists. They were friendly, of course, and one of them tried to help me pick out some new frames. But I quickly became overwhelmed when she kept piling frame after frame in front of me and asking me to narrow it down. I wanted to be very sure of something I would be wearing everyday, but I ended up just picking one because it felt rude not to buy from the place that did my exam.
Fast forward about four days, and my new glasses are ready to pick up. I pick them up, and right off the bat, I am not sure if they are right for me. Not to mention, the receptionist just handed them to me and didn't ask much about how they felt. Later that day, I discovered that they where not, in fact, transition lenses like they where supposed to be. So I decide since I am going to have to return them anyway, I might as well get some frames that I like better. I found some at Shopko that I was much more comfortable with, even though they seemed slightly crooked since I bought the floor model. I was confident, however, that the eye doctor could fix that.
The next Monday, Mike takes my glasses in to be exchanged and they assure him that they can get the right lenses and fix the crooked frames. They DO NOT give me any sort of compensation for screwing up the first pair. In fact, they charge an extra $71 for an anti-glare coating that I decided I wanted. "Oh well", I thought, "at least I will finally get what I want."
Fast forward TWO WEEKS. (No more fast service when they have to do it right.) My glasses are ready again and I pick them up, and I can immediately tell they have not been straightened, so I ask the receptionist about it and she says, "I assume they straightened them." "ASSUME?!" I think, "Why can't you fucking make sure you do what I ask for?" Still, I hold it in and try to ignore the feeling since the smiling receptionist and Mike both tell me that they look straight. Once again, the receptionist doesn't ask if they need to be adjusted. She just sends me on my merry way.
Later that day, I discover that my new glasses slide down my nose every time I look down, and I can't take it anymore. I burst into tears, put on my old, comfy glasses, and spent the rest of the day sulking and defeated.
I refused to wear my new glasses or to do anything about them until today, when I finally got out of my funk. I decided to make one last effort and bring them into Shopko to see if anything could be done. Low and behold, a sweet old lady working at the eye center spent about five minutes with my glasses, and they felt wonderful! I was on cloud nine, and the eye center lady might as well have been an angel. I am so relieved, I don't even care much if they look good on me. They FEEL good, and that makes me ecstatic.
Here are a few pictures to break up this long, and probably very boring, story.
My old glasses. (Still my first love.)
The first pair. (Not too bad, but not right for me.)
The final, and hopefully last, pair for a long time.
They will still take a little getting used to, but I am so glad the whole thing is over with. I will probably never return to that very nice eye doctor. Sorry, but your receptionists, and the place that makes your lenses, suck.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Tackling the Jungle
Spring is on its way yet again, and while I am super excited for the nice weather, I am not so excited about what the melting snow is uncovering in my yard. It's not that I have a horrible yard. I have seen much worse. It's just that when I look at my yard I feel like a tiny ant in a huge forest. It needs work. Lots of it.
If I had oodles of time or money, maybe I would have some idea of were to start. I could hire some people to get it to a manageable state, and then keep it up myself from there. But as it stands, I don't have money for that, and my own efforts amount to little more than picking up sticks or cutting off a small branch here and there. That's not going to cut it. I have whole trees that need to go. WHOLE TREES!
Trees seem so insignificant when they are small. You feel like a giant who can crush them at a whim. However, when they get bigger, how the tables turn. Tree can now not only crush you, but your house and car as well. You must bow to their every command, because getting rid of just one branch takes a truckload of heavy machinery. Tree wants to grow roots into your pipes and mess them all up? Tree does that. Tree desires to drop a truckload of leaves in your yard? No stopping tree. Tree wants to take over the entire yard? Tree is now king of the yard.
Trees aside, the lawn is more weeds than lawn. The ground it mostly hard as a rock. There is no secondary water. The pear trees drop hundred of nice squishy pears on the ground. One tree is infested with some sort of bugs. There are piles of debris left from the old owners. And to top it all off, I think we have gophers. I take it back. I do have a horrible yard.
On my days off from work, it is hard to get the motivation to tackle any part of the yard, because it all seems so hopeless. But perhaps if I take it one tiny step at a time, progress will be made. Lets just hope I can chop faster than the plants can grow.
If I had oodles of time or money, maybe I would have some idea of were to start. I could hire some people to get it to a manageable state, and then keep it up myself from there. But as it stands, I don't have money for that, and my own efforts amount to little more than picking up sticks or cutting off a small branch here and there. That's not going to cut it. I have whole trees that need to go. WHOLE TREES!
Trees seem so insignificant when they are small. You feel like a giant who can crush them at a whim. However, when they get bigger, how the tables turn. Tree can now not only crush you, but your house and car as well. You must bow to their every command, because getting rid of just one branch takes a truckload of heavy machinery. Tree wants to grow roots into your pipes and mess them all up? Tree does that. Tree desires to drop a truckload of leaves in your yard? No stopping tree. Tree wants to take over the entire yard? Tree is now king of the yard.
Trees aside, the lawn is more weeds than lawn. The ground it mostly hard as a rock. There is no secondary water. The pear trees drop hundred of nice squishy pears on the ground. One tree is infested with some sort of bugs. There are piles of debris left from the old owners. And to top it all off, I think we have gophers. I take it back. I do have a horrible yard.
On my days off from work, it is hard to get the motivation to tackle any part of the yard, because it all seems so hopeless. But perhaps if I take it one tiny step at a time, progress will be made. Lets just hope I can chop faster than the plants can grow.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Simple Thought
Work is getting slow at the tax forms job, which means more time for blog writing.....yay!......but a lot less money......boo! I guess life has its trade-offs. I get to be poor and you get to read my inspirational words. Wait a second. I think I got the short end of the stick.
I dislike the saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It is totally false in every way. If you have a disease, does it make you stronger? I don't think so. If you get repeatedly punched in the head, does it make you stronger? No way. If you are verbally abused every day of your life, does it make you stronger. I'm thinking no. So why do people always say it? Do they mean, "What doesn't kill you makes you mentally stronger to be able to deal with difficult things more easily?" Maybe. But even that isn't always true. People can get beat down mentally as much as they can physically. A truer saying would be, "What doesn't kill you really sucks and will probably make your life miserable for a while, or even to the end."
I'm not saying all this because I think people should have a negative attitude or give up when life gets hard. I'm just saying that sayings don't usually help. They are over-simplified, overly-optimistic, sometimes false, ways of looking at the world. If you want to make someone feel better, don't give them sayings. Give them help, give them REAL words from your heart or a quote from a beloved author. Before you say it, quotes are not the same as sayings. Quotes can sometimes turn into sayings if they are too simplistic or over-used. But quotes usually have so much more depth and meaning and are more than one line. Quotes come from a thoughtful approach rather than carelessly dropping a one line saying.
All I want people to know is that humans are more complex than sayings allow. Most problems will not be solved with a simple saying. People seem to forget more and more to put thought into what they do. If anyone wanted some advice from me, I would urge them to talk less and think more.
I dislike the saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It is totally false in every way. If you have a disease, does it make you stronger? I don't think so. If you get repeatedly punched in the head, does it make you stronger? No way. If you are verbally abused every day of your life, does it make you stronger. I'm thinking no. So why do people always say it? Do they mean, "What doesn't kill you makes you mentally stronger to be able to deal with difficult things more easily?" Maybe. But even that isn't always true. People can get beat down mentally as much as they can physically. A truer saying would be, "What doesn't kill you really sucks and will probably make your life miserable for a while, or even to the end."
I'm not saying all this because I think people should have a negative attitude or give up when life gets hard. I'm just saying that sayings don't usually help. They are over-simplified, overly-optimistic, sometimes false, ways of looking at the world. If you want to make someone feel better, don't give them sayings. Give them help, give them REAL words from your heart or a quote from a beloved author. Before you say it, quotes are not the same as sayings. Quotes can sometimes turn into sayings if they are too simplistic or over-used. But quotes usually have so much more depth and meaning and are more than one line. Quotes come from a thoughtful approach rather than carelessly dropping a one line saying.
All I want people to know is that humans are more complex than sayings allow. Most problems will not be solved with a simple saying. People seem to forget more and more to put thought into what they do. If anyone wanted some advice from me, I would urge them to talk less and think more.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
People Kill People
Gun control is a really hot issue right now, so I thought I would put in my two cents about the matter and then people can go back to bitching and moaning about one thing or another. I believe, the less guns the better. See? Right there I lost all the radical gun rights activists and all the moderate ones are already fuming. Hear me out.....or don't. I don't really care. I believe less guns are better because guns make it really easy to kill. I'm sure that's what the gun rights people want, because they have a lot of fear about who or what may be lurking out there that they many need to kill. But I think guns make it TOO easy to kill.
Think about it. How many stories can you think of where someone was murdered, or accidentally injured or killed by a gun? I can think of quite a few. Now, think of stories you have heard where people where saved by guns. Police and military stories don't count, because they are not average citizens in average circumstances. I am drawing a blank. The truth is, if you own a gun, you are much more likely to be accidentally injured or killed by it than you are to be saved by it. And, yes, that includes people with gun training. Even people with training have accidents with guns.
The next point I would like to make is that the government will never take away all guns. I know that is hard for activists to believe, but think about it. What is the government? The people. What do the people want? To keep their guns. If you want to keep your gun, why would you worry that you would take it away from yourself? The government (meaning some of the people) only wants to make it a little harder for people to get guns. That means more background checks, more gun safety training, and more restriction on what kinds of guns you can get. That's all. Now that's not so bad is it?
Well the gun rights activists will point out that the government may somehow get too much power, and then we will all be ruled by an oppressive regime. I'm not too worried about that in America, because the people here would not stand for a government like that for long. There would be guns and fighting, yes. But then we would either restore our fair and democratic government, or there would be anarchy and we would have to protect ourselves from all kinds of terrorists and gangs and evil people who want to take our guns, our freedom, or our lives. In that case, having a gun will solve everything. Not. In an extreme, end of civilization and order scenario like that, I would be much more worried about surviving the elements than surviving the other human beings who want to kill me. Nature is a much more indiscriminate killer than people. I would be worried about learning how to survive off the land without electricity or running water or any modern conveniences. I would not be worried about getting a gun, that once out of bullets, would be useless to me.
On the internet I read a quote by gun activists that said, "If guns kill people, then do spoons make people fat?" Of course spoons don't make people fat. People make themselves fat. The same goes for guns. Guns don't kill people. People kill people. If there are more guns around, it only makes it easier for people to kill people.
Think about it. How many stories can you think of where someone was murdered, or accidentally injured or killed by a gun? I can think of quite a few. Now, think of stories you have heard where people where saved by guns. Police and military stories don't count, because they are not average citizens in average circumstances. I am drawing a blank. The truth is, if you own a gun, you are much more likely to be accidentally injured or killed by it than you are to be saved by it. And, yes, that includes people with gun training. Even people with training have accidents with guns.
The next point I would like to make is that the government will never take away all guns. I know that is hard for activists to believe, but think about it. What is the government? The people. What do the people want? To keep their guns. If you want to keep your gun, why would you worry that you would take it away from yourself? The government (meaning some of the people) only wants to make it a little harder for people to get guns. That means more background checks, more gun safety training, and more restriction on what kinds of guns you can get. That's all. Now that's not so bad is it?
Well the gun rights activists will point out that the government may somehow get too much power, and then we will all be ruled by an oppressive regime. I'm not too worried about that in America, because the people here would not stand for a government like that for long. There would be guns and fighting, yes. But then we would either restore our fair and democratic government, or there would be anarchy and we would have to protect ourselves from all kinds of terrorists and gangs and evil people who want to take our guns, our freedom, or our lives. In that case, having a gun will solve everything. Not. In an extreme, end of civilization and order scenario like that, I would be much more worried about surviving the elements than surviving the other human beings who want to kill me. Nature is a much more indiscriminate killer than people. I would be worried about learning how to survive off the land without electricity or running water or any modern conveniences. I would not be worried about getting a gun, that once out of bullets, would be useless to me.
On the internet I read a quote by gun activists that said, "If guns kill people, then do spoons make people fat?" Of course spoons don't make people fat. People make themselves fat. The same goes for guns. Guns don't kill people. People kill people. If there are more guns around, it only makes it easier for people to kill people.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Reminiscing
I just did a search for my blog, and I have to say it is kind of cool having my own web page pop up in the search results. I remember the days when web pages were a new thing and I remember thinking that I would never want one, let alone have one. How things have changed. I may only be 31, but it feels like I have been around a lot longer than that. Already, kids are growing up in a totally different world than what I grew up in. Kids today don't know what it's like to not have cell phones or cds and dvds. They couldn't imagine not having cable tv or the latest video games. They are totally surrounded by technology, and I wonder how they would adapt if all that where taken away.
I always thought I would never grow into one of those adults who says, "Back in my day......." But now I believe it is just something that happens to everyone that can't be avoided. I don't know if the past was necessarily better. Some things probably where, and some things probably weren't. But no matter what is in the past, it seems to have a powerful effect on people. It always wants to draw you back into it. Sometimes you remember the happy times and you are sad because they are over. Sometimes you remember the sad times and you can hardly bring yourself to get past the pain.
I have found that it is usually best to not dwell on the past, happy or sad. If you do, you will not fully live, because you will be neglecting the present for something that is already over and can never be again. I used to think about the past a lot before I realized this, and I think my life is better now that I don't let the past dominate my mind.
I have also come to realize in my years of living that change is a constant and cannot be avoided. This may seem obvious to most people, and I guess it is. But I used to spend hours and even days longing for things that where in the past. Once I accepted change, though, it really helped me let go of things that where already gone.
The past will always be a part of our lives as long as we can remember it. It is wise to learn from the past and even to reminisce about the past from time to time. But don't ever get stuck back there, or your life will move on without you.
(I think it is funny that I didn't start writing this post intending to write anything about the past. It just goes to show the tangents that my mind is always taking.)
I always thought I would never grow into one of those adults who says, "Back in my day......." But now I believe it is just something that happens to everyone that can't be avoided. I don't know if the past was necessarily better. Some things probably where, and some things probably weren't. But no matter what is in the past, it seems to have a powerful effect on people. It always wants to draw you back into it. Sometimes you remember the happy times and you are sad because they are over. Sometimes you remember the sad times and you can hardly bring yourself to get past the pain.
I have found that it is usually best to not dwell on the past, happy or sad. If you do, you will not fully live, because you will be neglecting the present for something that is already over and can never be again. I used to think about the past a lot before I realized this, and I think my life is better now that I don't let the past dominate my mind.
I have also come to realize in my years of living that change is a constant and cannot be avoided. This may seem obvious to most people, and I guess it is. But I used to spend hours and even days longing for things that where in the past. Once I accepted change, though, it really helped me let go of things that where already gone.
The past will always be a part of our lives as long as we can remember it. It is wise to learn from the past and even to reminisce about the past from time to time. But don't ever get stuck back there, or your life will move on without you.
(I think it is funny that I didn't start writing this post intending to write anything about the past. It just goes to show the tangents that my mind is always taking.)
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
The Sunny Side
Life has continued on, and here I am once again to write about the small notions that run through my mind. I do a lot of thinking, but sometimes I wish my mind wouldn't run so freely. Ahhhh, to be oblivious and ignorant to the cares of the world. I suppose some people have that. But I think once you have passed a certain level of knowledge, you can never go back to that blissful ignorance. Such is life.
I have been thinking a lot lately about a quote that I like from Romeo and Juliet. I like Shakespeare when I can understand his old English. Here is the quote for your reading pleasure:
Thy Juliet is alive,
For whose dear sake thou wast but lately dead.
There art thou happy. Tybalt would kill thee,
But thou slewest Tybalt. There are thou happy too.
The law, that threat'ned death, becomes thy friend
And turns it to exile. There art thou happy.
A pack of blessings light upon thy back;
Happiness courts thee in her best array;
But, like a misbehaved and sullen wench,
Thou pout'st upon thy fortune and thy love.
Take heed, take heed, for such die miserable.
This quote is from when the Priest is talking to Romeo about all the good things in his life that he has to be happy about. Yet Romeo can only cry and whine about all the bad things that have happened to him.
I like this quote because it seems so relevant to modern life. So many times I hear people complaining about all the bad in their lives, when in reality they have "a pack of blessings" on their backs. When your car breaks down, you think of the bad luck, the cost, the annoyance of not being able to get around, and the wasted time it will take to fix. But do you think of the fact that you have a car in the first place? Are you grateful that there are people who have the knowledge and skill to fix your car? Do you appreciate family and friends who are willing to give you rides? Do you think about the fact that you have enough money to pay for the repairs, even if you have to scrape to get it? All these things are your blessings that get easily overshadowed by the misfortune.
The Priest's warning at the end makes the quote especially meaningful. "Take heed, for such die miserable." If we are always blind to our blessings, we will always be miserable indeed. So when bad things happen to you, why not take the time to see your pack of blessings? It may only be looking at a bad situation in a different light, but you will surely be a happier person for it.
I have been thinking a lot lately about a quote that I like from Romeo and Juliet. I like Shakespeare when I can understand his old English. Here is the quote for your reading pleasure:
Thy Juliet is alive,
For whose dear sake thou wast but lately dead.
There art thou happy. Tybalt would kill thee,
But thou slewest Tybalt. There are thou happy too.
The law, that threat'ned death, becomes thy friend
And turns it to exile. There art thou happy.
A pack of blessings light upon thy back;
Happiness courts thee in her best array;
But, like a misbehaved and sullen wench,
Thou pout'st upon thy fortune and thy love.
Take heed, take heed, for such die miserable.
This quote is from when the Priest is talking to Romeo about all the good things in his life that he has to be happy about. Yet Romeo can only cry and whine about all the bad things that have happened to him.
I like this quote because it seems so relevant to modern life. So many times I hear people complaining about all the bad in their lives, when in reality they have "a pack of blessings" on their backs. When your car breaks down, you think of the bad luck, the cost, the annoyance of not being able to get around, and the wasted time it will take to fix. But do you think of the fact that you have a car in the first place? Are you grateful that there are people who have the knowledge and skill to fix your car? Do you appreciate family and friends who are willing to give you rides? Do you think about the fact that you have enough money to pay for the repairs, even if you have to scrape to get it? All these things are your blessings that get easily overshadowed by the misfortune.
The Priest's warning at the end makes the quote especially meaningful. "Take heed, for such die miserable." If we are always blind to our blessings, we will always be miserable indeed. So when bad things happen to you, why not take the time to see your pack of blessings? It may only be looking at a bad situation in a different light, but you will surely be a happier person for it.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Worry Wart
Well, my passwords haven't been stolen for a little while, so here's hoping that they gave up on tormenting me. Now I can continue to worry about what I usually worry about - Everything! Just kidding.....sort of. I do have a tendency to worry a lot, so I have to make a conscious effort not to. Usually I do pretty good at it.
Right now the thing that causes me the most worry is the gigantic amount of snow we have been getting. I seriously don't know how people survive in places like Alaska. We get a couple of feet of snow and I start worrying that our cars will get stuck, or break down, or smashed in an accident. I worry that the heater in my house will stop working or that we will get so much snow that I can't get into my own driveway. That last one is a major possibility because our driveway is gravel, so we can't use a snow blower unless we want to be shooting rocks at our neighbors. There is no earthy way I could keep up with shoveling it. I did a small section just tonight and I already feel like my arms are going to fall off.
There is also the very real possibility that Mike and I could become sick and not be able to shovel or do much of anything else. Our workplace seems to be a breeding ground for all kinds of nasty sicknesses. In the past few weeks, more people have called out sick than I can count on my hands. Even as I write this, I feel I am fighting off a multitude of sicknesses that all those people brought back to work with them. I'm not officially sick yet, so I hope I can just sleep it off. (Also, I have been eating those Airborne anti-cold tablets like there is no tomorrow.)
But there will be a tomorrow, in spite of all my worrying. So I better lay my worries to rest. If the cars break down, we will work something out. If it snows more and more, someone is bound to help shovel our driveway. If our heater breaks, we will use coats and blankets until we can get it fixed. If I get sick, I will recover. (Besides, nothing can be as bad as that one year where I was sick for almost the entire winter.)
I think it is time to banish my worries for the night, take a shower, and snuggle in bed with a good book. Awwwww yeah, isn't this the life?
Right now the thing that causes me the most worry is the gigantic amount of snow we have been getting. I seriously don't know how people survive in places like Alaska. We get a couple of feet of snow and I start worrying that our cars will get stuck, or break down, or smashed in an accident. I worry that the heater in my house will stop working or that we will get so much snow that I can't get into my own driveway. That last one is a major possibility because our driveway is gravel, so we can't use a snow blower unless we want to be shooting rocks at our neighbors. There is no earthy way I could keep up with shoveling it. I did a small section just tonight and I already feel like my arms are going to fall off.
There is also the very real possibility that Mike and I could become sick and not be able to shovel or do much of anything else. Our workplace seems to be a breeding ground for all kinds of nasty sicknesses. In the past few weeks, more people have called out sick than I can count on my hands. Even as I write this, I feel I am fighting off a multitude of sicknesses that all those people brought back to work with them. I'm not officially sick yet, so I hope I can just sleep it off. (Also, I have been eating those Airborne anti-cold tablets like there is no tomorrow.)
But there will be a tomorrow, in spite of all my worrying. So I better lay my worries to rest. If the cars break down, we will work something out. If it snows more and more, someone is bound to help shovel our driveway. If our heater breaks, we will use coats and blankets until we can get it fixed. If I get sick, I will recover. (Besides, nothing can be as bad as that one year where I was sick for almost the entire winter.)
I think it is time to banish my worries for the night, take a shower, and snuggle in bed with a good book. Awwwww yeah, isn't this the life?
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