Striving For Fearlessness

I've been feeling sickly since yesterday. It doesn't seem like a cold, unless the the cough and sniffles are still to come. I just feel totally run-down and all I want to do is lay on the couch all day. While I never enjoy being sick, it's not too bad to have an excuse to do nothing. When I am not sick, I feel like this -



So being sick tunes that down to about 100 tabs. :-) But seriously, I over-think way too many things. I think it comes from from being afraid to make mistakes. If I make mistakes, bad things might happen, and then everything might go to shit. Logically, I know that we learn from mistakes, and all mistakes can't be avoided, and everyone makes mistakes, and blah blah blah. But we all know that logic seldom wins. Emotions rule, and they are fickle little buggers. So when I feel afraid to do something, or to not do something, that fear rules.

We have all heard sayings like, "The only thing to fear is fear itself." I don't know what those people did who only fear fear, but I sure as hell can't figure out how to do it. Maybe it comes from not having very many bad things happen to you. That way you have no fear because you don't know how bad things could be. Or maybe it comes from having so many bad things happen to you that you have no fear left because you have already experienced the worst.

Either way, I must be stuck somewhere in-between, because fear is a frequent visitor. I sure hope I can find my fearless side one day. It would be nice to have a sick day from fear and anxiety without actually being sick.