I will be returning to my tax form job soon, so I have been trying to squeeze in a bit more blog writing before the inevitable lack of free time comes along. I am excited to be going back, but also a little sad about less time to myself.
As a shy sort of person, I don't become close to very many people. That's not to say that I don't enjoy being around people. In fact, I would say I like being around people more often than not. The problem arises when it comes to trusting people. More than once in my life, I have gotten close to someone, only to be severely hurt by that person later on. That's why it's hard for me to get close to people. The logic goes like this - If you share your innermost feelings and secrets with someone, that person can use those things against you if you have a falling out. I not only keep most of my feelings and secrets to myself, but just about everything about me, because I am extra cautious.
The problem with this logic is that you may be safe from getting hurt, but you also never feel the joy and connection that can come from being close to people. Sometimes I wish I could break through my shyness and really connect with other people, then other times I remember the horrible hurt that others can dish out. So I suppose it is wise to be careful with your thoughts and feelings, and to look for people who have an aura of kindness about them. (I have always been drawn to really nice people who don't judge, and I strive to be that same kind of person.) But ultimately, you will always have to take that leap of faith if you want to connect with someone.
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