Getting Around

I remember when I was a kid and going anywhere remotely far from home on my own or with friends was one of the most thrilling things in my life. Even walking to the gas station or the park was a thrilling independence that I seldom experience anymore. But why don't I feel that anymore? I have more independence now than I ever had as a kid. Almost everyday I get in my car and go miles from home and think nothing of it. What happened to that thrill of adventure? I think I have somehow become desensitized.

At first it was exciting just going around the block. Then it was more exciting when my parents allowed me to ride my bike to the park. Then I got my driver's licence and the thought of driving anywhere I wanted practically made me swoon, even though I was terrified of driving for a good amount of time. But then I started having to go places that I didn't always want to go - the store, work, school, appointments. Gradually, getting around became a necessity rather than a joy.

We've all heard the saying, "Getting there is half the fun." Well I have lost a lot of that fun, and I would like to get it back. I think I could start by appreciating having a car and the ability to drive. I also should appreciate the fact that I can move around at all. There are so many people who disabled, and moving is difficult if not impossible for them. Once I get moving, I think taking time to notice the beauty in the world and not rushing will also help me to find more joy in the journey. Finally, going to new and different places will surely keep things exciting.

I am so thankful I have been able go so many amazing places in my life. I can only hope I will be able to go to many more and enjoy the journey every time.

Stuck On Repeat

It has been two years since I started this blog, and I am finding that it is getting harder and harder to remember what I have already written about in the past. There are just too many posts now to make it possible to go through every one of them looking for a specific statement or topic. Before you say it, yes, I know there are ways of archiving blogs and posts to make it easier to look up things. But I am not computer- or blog-savvy enough to know how to use those techniques, nor am a very interested in taking the time to learn about them. So if you read my blog, don't be surprised if I repeat myself or even contradict myself from time to time. That's just me being too lazy to archive properly.

You would think it would bug me more that I don't always remember what I have written. I get really annoyed with myself when I repeat myself, contradict myself, or even when I use the same word or phrase too often. I don't like being repetitive, and I don't like when other people are repetitive. To me, being repetitive means lack of personality and lack of imagination. On the other hand, I suppose always saying the same thing could be considered part of someone's personality. Also, at this point in my life, I have probably repeated so many things that it doesn't really matter anymore. I just chalk it up to human error or habit. I know I use certain words a lot in my writing like "but", "just", "also", "really", "probably", "so". That will probably never change. So either accept it, or stop reading my blog.

Basking In Love

Yesterday was Valentine's day and Mike did not disappoint. It's not just that he got me flowers and jewelry and clothes and perfume and dinner and just about anything I could ever want. It's that he goes with me when I shop for clothes even though there is probably few things that are more boring to him. It' that when he takes me out to dinner, even silence is not awkward. It's that even a text from him or to hear his voice can light up my day. It's that we are so alike it is scary, yet so different that it doesn't get boring. It's that he always tries to make me happy. It's that he does make me incredibly happy.....Love you Mike.

Just a side note for all you who may be gagging at the mushyness of this post. You may be alone and unhappy and that's why you don't like all this love talk. But there were times in my life when I was alone and I truly thought I would never find anyone to love me. So I think I am entitled to bask in my love once in while. I hope you won't hate me for it, and don't give up hope that you will find your own love to bask in.

Social Addiction

I have been thinking about Facebook and how much it has become a part of most people's lives. I can hardly go to any business now without seeing some sort of sign that says, "Follow us on Facebook!" I remember when MySpace first came out and I liked it so much that when I heard about Facebook I vowed never to make a page there. Well we all see how that worked out. The sad thing is, I still like MySpace better. I only went to Facebook because that's where all the people went. It's no fun being alone on MySpace.

Whatever social networking site you use, I think it has all gotten a little out of control. When I first started I went to meet people or connect with people I already knew and see a few pictures or hear comments on current issues. But now, Facebook is more like a huge jumble of advertisements, game requests, meaningless posts, and countless pictures. When I first joined it was more like an exclusive club with a few members. Now it is overcrowded, and that means it has all the trash, and noise, and abuse that comes with overcrowding. I can tolerate crowds once in a while, but as a general rule I don't like them.

If you know me at all, you are probably thinking to yourself at this point that I am a huge hypocrite. I am. I don't deny it. I am addicted to Facebook like a drug addict is addicted to drugs. But like most drug addicts, I don't want to be addicted. I have this part of my brain that wants to know every tiny detail about every little thing, no matter how pointless it may be. I know it is impossible to keep up with everything on Facebook, but my poor brain wants to try anyway.

So I am going to take baby steps to overcome my addiction. Maybe I can not log on so often. Maybe I can go a whole day without looking. Maybe a week. Maybe......

Time For A Mental Break

I heard a singer say once that he only writes positive, uplifting music because there is enough negativity in the world. I really like the idea of staying positive. I think it is very important to your mental well-being. It doesn't usually come naturally, either. You really have to make an effort to be positive. YOU have to control what you let yourself think about and what you let yourself see and experience. Just as you protect a child from seeing bad things, sometimes you have to do the same for yourself. I've said before that I hate when people try to pretend that the bad things in the world don't exist. In this case I am not talking about blocking out or ignoring every bad thing that you hear or see. I'm talking more about limiting your intake and controlling your negative thoughts.

When you see something bad on the news, think to yourself, "Does this information benefit me? Is it very important that I think about this?" 9 times out of 10, the answer will be 'no'. Then why let yourself obsess over something that is not benefiting your mental health? For example, think of someone who has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Those people have seen and experienced things that are so horrific that they can no longer function in everyday life. If you let the negative thoughts consume you, you are basically giving yourself PTSD, and some day you may not be able to function either.

So don't ignore every bad thing in the world, but don't let the bad things control or break you either. Listen to one or two sad songs, but then move on to some happier ones. When things get heavy-handed, deal with them as best you can, but then give yourself some time to think of or do happier things. Give yourself a mental break.