Living Life

 As we come to over a year since the pandemic first started, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.  There are many people getting vaccinated and many public places are loosening their restrictions on face coverings.  This is all to be taken with a grain of salt, however, because many experts are still saying this is far from over.  There are new varients of the virus, which are more contagious, and it it is still unclear if the vaccine will protect against those.  Also, there are many people who, for whatever reason, still don't want to get vaccinated.  So I look hopefully towards the future, but still stand at the ready for further trouble.

I appologize for the long delay since my last post.  I guess you could say I had a drought of ideas, and only today have I thought of one of interest enough to me to bother writing about.  

I greatly dislike the saying, "Live each day as if it's your last".  I understand the sentiment behind it, and I agree that life should not be wasted.  But I find several problems with it, the first being that if you lived that way, you wouldn't get much accomplished.  Think about what you would want your last day on earth to be like.  I don't think many people would choose to go to school or work as usual, have sub-par food, and end the day with a boring t.v. show.  You would probably want to do something memorable like have a party, go somewhere beautiful or exciting, or doing something you love.  However, it is not practical to do things like  this every day.  Life is a combination of mundane tasks and pleasant moments.  There is no way to elimiate the mundane and still accomplish anything worthwhile.  The best you can do is try to have more good times than bad.

Now maybe when people say, "Live each day as if it's your last" they they don't mean it so literally .  Ok, well that still doesn't work for me.  If you are living that way, you are probably thinking a lot about death.  It is my theory that most people ignore the thought of death 99% of the time, because if they did think about it frequently, they would be very depressed.  Thus defeating the whole purpose of living a happy life.  I know there are those who can think of their own demise without much aggitation.  But, for the vast majority, I think those thoughts are not helpful.

I have heard of people who have had near-death experiences, and some say it is so wonderful on the other side that you would be begging to go there if you knew what it is like.  Where, then, does that leave the living?  Deeply unhappy because they can't yet have what they long for?  Unable to find purpose in life knowing that what waits on the other side is so much better?  I'm not here to debate the existence or non-existence of an afterlife.  I just think that it would leave most people in a precarious position if they felt caught between one world and the next.

For me, taking pleasure in the little things, helping others, working hard, learning, loving, and not dwelling too much on the past or future is the way to go.  It may not be a perfect philosophy, but I don't think there is one.  My hope for you is that you find what works for you, and when the end comes you are content with what your life has been.

Relocation Admiration

 Here we are one year into a pandemic, and I never could have imagined how this all would change our lives so profoundly.  There is hope on the horizon, however.  A vaccine has been developed in record time, and it is being administered as quickly as possible.  But, the trauma will still be there forever.  Millions of people have died or lost loved-ones.  Doctors have been pushed to their limits.  Riots and protests have become commonplace.  Everyone has had to quarantine, many have lost their jobs, and everyone's lives have been profoundly changed forever.  Let us all pray for healing and better days ahead.

Now on to the topic of this post.  I am often very interested in the reasons people move far away and stay in certain places.  Lots of people move for a job opportunity, and from what I can tell, that seems to be the main reason someone moves out of state or out of the country.  Still, many others move just because they want to be with a friend or lover, go to school somewhere, or they just want to experience a different place.

Not being a very brave person myself, I am often awed by those who make a big move and a new life for themselves.  Aside from the difficulty of just getting all your stuff to the new place, there are so many other challenges.  You have to register your kids for school if you have kids.  You have to learn how to find your way around the new place.  You have to start a new job or a new school.  You have to meet new people and find new friends.  You have to find the right stores where you want to shop.  You have to get your car registered and get a new drivers licence.  Also, if you move to a place dramaticallly different from what you are used to, you have to adjust to a new culture.  It all seems so overwhelming to me.

I suppose it isn't very stressful for some people.  Others are probably stressed, but they still take the leap.  I don't know if I could even do that.  Then again, I guess you never know until you try.  For now I will just marval at those who have the guts to try, and listen with great interest to their stories.

The Princess and the Pauper

 I remember not too many years ago, when I was just starting out on my own, money was very tight, and I had to make every cent count.  Fast forward to today, and most of the time, I can spend reasonably without worrying if I will have enough money in my account.  I am grateful for this every day.

As a poor twenty-something in my first apartment, I would go to great lengths to save money because there were times when it came down to a few dollars in my account, and I had to decide what food or medication or bill was most important to pay for.  I have been on food stamps and have gotten free food from a food pantry.  Don't get me wrong.  I was never destitute or homeless. My health was good for the most part, and luckily I had my dad to fall back on if I got in any real trouble.  However, I know many people don't have all of that, and they suffer far worse consequences than I ever did.  That's why it makes me feel so amazed, happy, and blessed to be in an excellent financial situation now.

When money was tight, I always took a calculator to the store and added up every item I wanted so I wouldn't go over what money I had to spend on food.  (Which wasn't always very much.)  Often I would have to put food back before checkout or buy a cheaper item rather than an expensive one.  I dreaded going to the doctor because I couldn't afford it, let alone any medication he or she might prescribe.  Buying a treat for myself like a new item of clothing or going to a movie was a very rare occurrence.  If I got money for my birthday, I would sometimes spend it on food or bills.  Going on a vacation was out of the question.

These days I have a job that I have been at for over 13 years, and Mike makes a very good living at his job as well.  We have medical insurance, a home, two very nice cars, and money in savings.  We eat out frequently and buy things for fun just about any time we have extra money.  We even get to go on vacation here and there.

I'm not saying all this to make anyone jealous or angry.  I can hardly believe my good fortune myself.  I'm only saying that when I hear of people struggling to get by or who are even just a little strapped for cash, I can relate in a big way.  I try to give back when I can, and I never judge or look down on those who have few material possessions.  I only sympathize and hope that one day they can find a way to also turn from a pauper to a princess.   

Whispered Words and Petty Power

 Whispered words.  Sideways glances.  Low tones.  Concerned looks.  We all know the feeling when we know we are being left out of something important.  It's not a good feeling.

Why does it happen?  I feel like if it happens at a business or workplace, it's usually under the guise of being "professional".  People seem to think they are being professional when they withhold information from the lower rank employees.  However, in my experience, it is less about professionalism and more about personal feelings and a petty assertion of power.   

It seems to me like when a person has a little bit of power over someone else, they like to rub it in by whispering about things that don't need to be whispered about.  This makes people with the secret feel more special and important than the people around them.

All these secrets really aren't being kept as much as they are being used to manipulate people.  This bothers me to no end because it only leads to misinformation and negative feelings.  Why not just be honest and open with all your fellow humans?

I can concede the need for some secrets in life, but I think they should rarely, if ever, need to be exploited to make others feel bad.  Maybe I am blind to the inner politics of certain groups.  However, if being in the loop means being secretive and hurtful, leave me in the dark.

The Spector of Suffering

Here we are, many months into this pandemic, with no end in sight.  When it first began, I think many people, including myself, thought it would be a short-lived problem.  But now as we get into it further and further, there is no end in sight and thousands of people have died and continue to die.

You would think that people would come together during this terrible time to fight against this disease.  Not so.  More than ever, there is arguing, fighting, corruption, protests, riots, and dispair.

One of the things people are arguing about, is whether or not wearing a mask slows the spread of COVID-19.  Most experts agree that it is beneficial to wear a mask, so in some areas there are mask mandates, which means you have to wear a mask whenever you are in public.  Many people are extremely angry about this because they think masks don't help and they think the government is trying to control them.

I could be very wrong, but it is my own speculation that people who don't want to wear a mask have never experienced an exceptionally painful, life-threatening illness.  Because let me tell you, I have experienced such a thing, and I would do just about anything to prevent having to go through that again; the least of which is wearing a mask while in public. 

I have had illness where I literally couldn't move without getting very dizzy and vomiting.  I layed on the couch for two days and barely slept because of excessive stomach pain.  I have been to the emergency room and to several doctors who did little but tell me it might be an inner ear problem.  My point is, once you have been that sick, you appreciate a healthy, pain-free life so much more, and you fear feeling that terrible so much that you will do a great many things that might even remotely prevent it from happening again.

From what I hear about COVID-19, it can be quite painful, and also have a negative impact on your health for the rest of your life.  So you bet I am going to do simple things like wear a mask and wash my hands and not have close contact with a lot of people.  I know what it is like to suffer to the point that life is almost unbearable, and I am eager to do what I can to prevent myself from feeling that way again.

Those who are not eager, probably have never suffered to that extreme, or don't believe there is actually a pandemic.  In any case I would say, it doesn't matter to me if there is actually a pandemic.  Just the threat that there might be is enough to make me change my behavior slightly, if only to have a chance to spare myself and others from suffering.  

Once you have been through hell, you never want to go back.   You many have survived, but until you do die, you will live with the spector of suffering.

It's in the Details

Last time I wrote a post I had high hopes of writing more often, but of course life happened and that didn't pan out at all. I suppose that's just the way life is. You do what you can, when you can and you learn to be OK with that. Anyway, I have had this idea in my mind for a post for a long time, and now I have an excuse to finally write it because my husband got my this fabulous new tablet with keyboard for our anniversary. (Isn't he the greatest?) However, before I begin my main topic, I have to apologize for any misspellings that occur. It seems that Blogger has removed the spell check feature, and while I consider myself a decent speller, I am not fool-proof. I really hope that feature is returned to Blogger, since I know of very few people who don't use spell check while writing on a computer. I'm a little annoyed to be honest. But enough of that. 

 I am a very detail-oriented person, so it would be of no surprise to anyone that I notice when other people miss details......a lot. In fact, it's to the point that I see so many details overlooked, that I wonder if I am just extraordinarily gifted at seeing details or other people are just careless and lazy. I am leaning toward the latter. 

 I wouldn't care so much, except I think others are missing out on many wonderful things, or they are making my job harder. For instance, when exact time is of importance, I make note of the time and make sure I don't go over my allowed time. But others don't seem to notice it much at all, or only pay attention if it is something that benefits them, and so I have to remind them of the time over and over if I am the one in charge. Also, people miss amazing and beautiful things by tromping around and being loud and unobservant - a small sound, a quiet voice, a little treasure, a special moment. 

 Maybe that is just the culture now. People are brought up to make sure that they stand out, even if that means squashing everyone else. If they would just pay a little more attention, however, they might learn the value of someone or something other than themselves.

The Equalizers

All men are created equal. That's what it says in the Declaration of Independence, and that's what we believe. Right? Hold on just a second. We want people to be equal. We try our best to make them equal. But by no means are they created equal.

From the moment we are conceived, our inequalities begin to form also. Maybe the mother doesn't take care of herself while she is pregnant, or maybe she does. Maybe a physical or mental disability begins to form. Perhaps the mother gets into some sort of accident that affects the baby. So many things could go right or wrong, and that is only the very beginning.

After we are born, our inequalities only grow. Some kids are born into rich families, while others are very poor. Some kids have very supportive parents, and some have terrible, abusive parents. Being born into a certain race can also have an inpact on how fairly you are treated. So what are we to do about all this inequality? Well I believe the first step is to recongnize it exists, and also that is can never be comepletely eliminated. However, there are things we can do as groups and individuals. We can help the poor and less-fortunate. We can teach the ignorant. We can stand up for those who are treated unfairly. We can give time and money and love.....love most of all. Sadly, the world will never be as fair and equal as would be ideal. There is always hate, corruption, and abuse. We just need to do our best to make sure we are not a part of that, and to change the problems that we do see.