Major Changes

I have decided I am finally ready to announce what the "major changes" are that I mentioned in a previous post. Mike and I are expecting a baby boy in August! It came as such a shock at first because I had pretty much given up on having children after seven years of no success. Even now there are moments I can hardly believe that this is happening. Of course I was so happy when I found out, but I also had to make a big mental adjustment. After seven years of convincing myself that I could be happy without children, I was finally starting to settle into that attitude. Then in an instant I had to switch back to the idea that I was going to be a mother. That is a lot for anyone to take.

Now I am so overjoyed and filled with love when I think of my little boy or when I feel his tiny kicks inside of me. But another emotion that comes with getting pregnant is worry. I worry that he will be healthy. I worry about protecting him from the harsh world he is being born into. I worry about whether I will be a good mom, and how I will know what is best for him. I worry about teaching him what is right and providing for him.

I am hoping that many things will come naturally and that I will also learn a lot from friends and family. I may be an older mother with less energy, but one thing I have going for me is more knowledge and life experience. I know I won't be a perfect mom, but I know I will be better now than when I was in my 20's. I also know that this little boy will be loved a huge amount by so many people, and that can't hurt is odds at growing up well.

So I guess now I am officially a mommy blogger. It still blows my mind that someone will call me "mom". However, all big changes take a bit of time to adjust to. I'm sure in no time I couldn't imagine my life without my little boy.