Family Ties

I have noticed that a lot of people like to show love for their families on social media sites. They say things like, "My family is the best!" or "Family is everything! Spend time with your family!" While I am never one to discourage love, these kind of posts do make me feel a little twinge of pain for those who have no family, or less-than-ideal families.

It's easy to say family is everything when you grow up with a close and loving family. But I think the reality is, most family relationships are much more difficult and complex than most people want to admit. Sure family can be a wonderful part of life. But what about the little girl who was abused by her father? What about the teenage boy who was disowned for being gay? What about the only child whose parents both died in a car accident? What about the siblings who felt abandoned because their dad was a drug addict and their mom had to work three jobs? What about the rich family who have emotional issues because all the parents did was buy things for their kids instead of talk to them? The scenarios are endless, and a difficult family is probably more the norm than the close-to-perfect family.

Of course if you have missing or unsupportive family in your life there are ways around it to still live a happy and fulfilling life. You can find friends or extended family who care about you. You can find a loving spouse or start your own loving family. But these relationships take a lot of time and effort to establish, and in the end they are usually still looked upon as a lesser form of bond. Many people seem to scoff at the idea that a purposeful bond could ever be as strong as a blood bond. However, I think it can be just as strong if not stronger.

The problem with saying, "Family is everything." is that you insult people who don't have family, but who have worked just as hard to establish meaningful relationships in their lives. They may have really good lives, too. But they suddenly feel like they can't have "everything" through no fault of their own. When you diminish non-traditional families, you punish others for simply being less fortunate. We should indeed show love all around. But don't flaunt something that is not granted to everyone. Simply respect all loving relationships, and be quietly thankful for your own.