Former Grammar Nazi

Well we made it though Christmas with our little boy, and it was surprisingly not that bad. Every day there are new and different challenges being a parent, but I think there is a general upward trend in terms of comfort and ease. Not to say that it is comfortable or easy, but that it is becoming more so. So I thought this time I might channel my old self for a moment and write about something not associated with parenting.

I would say that I am a person who is concerned with proper grammar and spelling. Since I tend to be anxious once in a while, there are many things I am probably overly worried about. Sometimes that helps keep me focused and organized. Other times it stresses me out and I judge others who don't have the same standards as me.

I would like to change the way that I judge other people too harshly, and I recently learned something that is helping me do that. I learned that grammar and language do not adhere to hard and fast rules like we all tend to think they do. In fact they are almost constantly changing. Just think about all the new words that have been added to the dictionary. I remember a time when no one had any idea what "googled" meant. I was sometimes incredulous when new words where added. I would think, "They can't add that! It's slang!" or "That is a dumb word." But I soon came to realize that it doesn't matter what I think of the words. It matters if people as using them. It doesn't even matter if they are using them correctly. The meanings of words can change. Remember when "gay" was only another word for "happy"? I am almost certain that if someone says "gay" these days, it doesn't mean "happy".

Grammar changes also. I would always hear rules like, "Don't start a sentence with "and" or "because"" or "Don't end a sentence with a preposition." I took these rules very seriously for a long time, and, sadly, I only recently realized that they don't really matter. I read books by famous authors who constantly break these rules. In reality, you can write however you want. Grammar and spelling only sometimes help to get your point across.

Old habits die hard, and I will probably be at least somewhat concerned with language and grammar until the day that I die. But I am trying hard not to judge others by the way they use language. Just because something sounds like slang to me, doesn't make it any less valid. Maybe that person grew up in a place where that was the only way language was used. How can I judge them for using the same language that everyone around them uses? How can I look down on someone for not ever hearing how other people might say something? I will always try to look at different language as a learning experience, rather than being dismissive of it, because isn't being open-minded all about learning how other people think and do things?