Left Behind

I've really been slacking on the blog posts recently. In my defense, I have had some major changes happening in my life. But that is a topic I will have to discuss at a later time. For now I wanted to write about abandoned places and feeling left behind.

This may seem like an odd thing to write about, but for some reason it has been an underlying concern for me for most of my life. As long as I can remember, I don't like being the last person to leave a place or feeling like I am left behind. It just makes me sad and uncomfortable, like I am somehow left with the ghosts of what happened there, which are never half as satisfying as when you are living through the real thing. It makes me sad for what is over and will never happen again. It also makes me feel like everyone else has moved on and I have been left behind to be forgotten about like the place. I know it doesn't make much sense, since we are always moving on from one place to the next. I guess I just have a harder time than most people letting go of a good moment when it is over.

Abandoned buildings make me feel a similar sadness to being left behind. In a way I feel the same loss for all the good things that happened in that place, even though I was never a part of it. I think of the abandoned objects inside these places that were once so important and now are forgotten. Just driving past an abandoned place can bring on a heavy sadness. I almost feel bad for the building even though it has no feelings.

Over the years I have tried to develop ways to overcome this irrational sadness. I try to think of the good things ahead instead of what is being left behind. I try to realize that everything is in a constant state of change, and nothing lasts too long. But mostly I just try to not think too hard about what is over and what has been lost. Because if you only focus on your loss, you will never see all the things that you have.