Two Perspectives

I would like you to picture, for a moment, two cars that are traveling down the same road at the same time of day. The people inside are seeing and feeling the same area at the same time, so they must be having the same experience, right? Not so fast. I didn't tell you that the two cars are very different. One is a beautiful luxury car with leather seats and air conditioning. It has a very good sound system and the ride is very smooth. As the car passes, people notice it and comment on it's beauty or wave at the driver.

The second car is a little worse for wear. It is old and beat-up, and barely runs. There is no air conditioning, and the stereo only plays two garbled radio stations. The ride is very bumpy, and as the car passes, people either don't notice or look at it in disgust. Now do you still think the drivers are having the same experience?

I wanted to use this metaphor to show how easy it is to mistake a common road with a common experience. People often seem to think that they know how others feel if they have been in the same situation. There are similarities, of course, when people go through the same things. Yet people tend to forget how vastly different human bodies (a.k.a. the cars) can be. Each person sees and perceives the world differently based on their background, personality, and looks.

I'm not recommending that we highlight our differences. On the contrary, we should look for our commonalities and build understanding from those things we share. But we should not assume that someone feels the same way we did when we were in the same situation. That only leads to hurt and misunderstanding. The person in the old car might feel very bad if he were judged for having a stressful ride just because the driver of the luxury car had a pleasant ride on the same road. The two drivers could share in their common experience without assuming the other should have felt the same. That way, the drivers can share their similar experiences without feeling judged for their different perceptions.

I want to take one moment to also say that if you leave a comment on my blog, please write something to indicate that you have actually read and understood it. Otherwise, I will probably delete your comment because it seems you are just trying to advertise your website in the comments.