More Than Choices

I came across a quote on the internet that said, "Your life is a result of your choices. If you don't like your life, it's time to make some better choices." I know this is meant to be a motivational saying, but I really dislike quotes like this.

For one thing, your life is not solely a result of your choices. Yes that is a big part, but it is also a result of other people's choices, your environment, your physiology, your failure to make choices, and more variables than could ever be pinned down as the only source of an unsatisfactory life. In short, your total life satisfaction is a result of many things, only one of which is choice.

If a person decides to make better choices, I'm all for it. I think good choices can go a long way in improving quality of life. But it will not solve everything. Better choices do not solve being born in a third-world country. Better choices do not solve being born with a mental illness. Better choices don't solve being abused as a child. Better choices aren't the cure for lack of access to nutritional food and clean water. Choices can make a difference, but the quote implies that choices are the only thing holding you back from a better life.

Instead of choices, I like to focus on attitude. When life puts you in situations where you have no choice but to deal with it, your attitude is the only thing you can control, and it can make a big difference. Say you are born into a poor family. Your choices may get you out of that situation eventually, but if they don't, where does that leave you? You feel defeated and like you can't make any good choices. You feel like a failure at life. Now imagine that you change your attitude toward being poor. Whether you become fabulously rich or not, you feel happy. You know what is important in life and you appreciate what you have. You value friends and family and you help others because you know what it is like to be down.

Your attitude improves your life satisfaction whether you get what you want or not. Choices can improves your circumstances, but not your always your satisfaction. If you want to improve your life, I would suggest having a good attitude first and foremost, and THEN making wise choices. Because I don't believe your life is a result of your choices. It is a result of many things, but only attitude can make the result a positive one no matter how it turns out.

My Veiwpoint

I've been feeling a little down lately. I think this time of year is a little blah, especially if you don't have a lot of stuff to keep you busy. And sometimes even if you do have a lot of things to keep you busy, you don't want to do any of them because you feel blah. It's also been tough without Beary to keep me company. I'm sure we will eventually get another dog, but right now it seems impossible that I could ever find a dog half as wonderful as Bear was.

It will come as no surprise to most people that because of my shyness I struggle to communicate with other people. Sometimes that leads to serious misunderstandings or disagreements, and sometimes it leads to just a general lack of interest in me or my feelings. I know not everyone will like me, and I am fine with that. What I don't like is when people don't grant me the same courtesy or respect that I give them. You may disagree with me or even dislike me, but at least be respectful of me and try to see things from my point-of-view.

Many times I have run into people who treat me rudely or unkindly for no reason that I am aware of. My best guess is that I inadvertently did something to upset them, or they are just in a bad mood and they take it out on me or others around them. In either case it is completely unfair to not even hint to me where your aggression is coming from. How am I supposed to correct my mistakes if I don't know what is wrong? And how are you supposed to better yourself if you constantly take out your anger on innocent people?

We all have bad days, and even I occasionally slip and snap at someone for no reason or am rude for no reason. But if you catch yourself doing this over and over, you might want to take a step back and think what you can do differently. Think - How does the other person feel? What could be happening in the other person's life to make them feel upset? How can I react with kindness instead of vengeance? How can I make those around me more happy? How can I make myself more happy?

We can't control the actions of others. We can only control our own. But I truly believe that the things that will make others happy will also lead to our own happiness. So when we control our anger, we not only benefit others, but we benefit ourselves.