Expectations

I knew it had been a while since I wrote, but I didn't realize it had been over a month. Geez! I need to crack down on myself. In my defense, life has been mostly uneventful, and blog topics don't just grow on trees. But now Mike's work schedule is changing so we won't have any days off together, and I will find myself with a lot more alone time. Time I can spend pondering what to write.....

So! You know that saying, "Where much is given, much is expected"? I hate that saying. You know why? Because people don't ask to be given much. That's the definition of a 'gift'. It it weren't a gift, you would be taking or borrowing. It would then make much more sense if the saying was, "Where much is taken, much is expected." If you have something taken from you, you could reasonably expect to get something back in a form of payment. But if you are giving things away, you really shouldn't be expecting anything.

In general, I have found expectations to be harmful and useless things. Nine times out of ten, when I expect something, it doesn't happen, or it doesn't happen how I thought it would. This usually leads to disappointment, which is never fun. Why can't people be happy with what already exists, and if something good happens, be all the happier? Why do they have to get their hopes up, only to have them squashed?

I know it is important to have hopes and dreams. Our desire to learn and progress is part of what makes us human. But I draw the line at expectations. I guess you could say hope is a more generalized form of expecting. You hope for the best, but you don't expect it. You hope your kid is smart after you paid for the best private schools, but you don't expect it. You hope you don't get cancer, but you don't expect it when so many people do get it. You hope your small business will be a success, but you don't expect it when the failure rate is so high.

I guess what I am trying to say, it that when you expect things to happen a certain way and they don't, your happiness takes a blow. But if you hope for things to happen the way you want, not as much harm is done if they don't happen. I would say hope is the way to go, instead of expecting. But who am I to say? Try it for yourself.

Travels

I was accurate when I predicted that work would take me away from blogging, but that's not the only reason I haven't posted in a while. Earlier this month I helped my brother and his family move to Louisiana so his wife could pursue her PhD at LSU. Then, this weekend, Mike took me on a small getaway to Park City to celebrate our anniversary which I was gone for because of my Louisiana trip. Riding to Louisiana in a moving truck that couldn't go faster than 60 mph was a challenge, so going to Park City was really the perfect little vacation to recharge.

For my trip to Louisiana, I rode with my brother, David, and gave him directions while the kids, his wife, and his wife's friend went ahead in the other car. We spent the night in Flagstaff, AZ, Albuquerque, NM, and Dallas, TX, before arriving in Baton Rouge, LA. I spent one full day in Baton Rouge, and then flew back to Utah early the next morning. I wish I could have stayed longer since it is hard being away from my family, and it was also interesting seeing a new place that is so different from where I live. But at the same time, I am very happy to be back home where I feel most comfortable. I don't know what it is about the mountains, but I love them so much, I don't think I could live somewhere that doesn't have them. For me, they mean stability, direction, beauty, and something constant and permanent in an ever-changing civilization.

I didn't take many pictures during my ride to Louisiana because, well, there wasn't really much to see. Lots of barren desert in Arizona and New Mexico, grassy plains and windmills in Texas, and trees and moisture in Louisiana. Here are a few of the pictures I did take.

These are some rock formations I found interesting. I think they were in Arizona?

This was one of quite a few rivers we crossed. I seemed to have an obsession with taking pictures of the rivers, but I don't why because they are really not that interesting. So I will only subject you to the one picture.

This is the house from the t.v. show "Breaking Bad". David and I drove around in Albuquerque to find some of the show locations. It was fun not just because of seeing the show locations, but also because I was born in Albuquerque. My family moved away when I was still a baby, so it was was kind of special to re-visit the place where I first started my life. I would love to return sometime when I have more time to enjoy it.

This is what Louisiana looks like, in case you were wondering. Trees and trees for as far as you can see. Kind of pretty, but also makes you feel a little isolated. When we got to Baton Rouge on the fourth day, it was already evening and we had to unload the moving truck. However, the air conditioning wasn't working in the new apartment, and we had to carry things up two flights of stairs, so things got really sweaty really fast. I think I got a better workout that night than I have ever had in my life. The next day was all about unpacking, driving around and getting oriented to the new place, and getting a bunk bed for the kids. In all hustle, I never did get to try any true Louisiana food, which was something I really wanted to do. I guess I will just have to go back to visit when things have calmed down.

This post is on the verge of getting incredibly long, but I can't stop without writing a little about Mike and I's awesome weekend in Park City. I don't think I could have had a more perfect vacation. The hotel room was beautiful. The hot tub and pool were relaxing. The food was delicious. The zip line was exhilarating. Here are a few pictures of our very nice hotel room.

I don't think I have ever stayed in a room that nice. It even smelled fresh! In the morning, we took the complimentary shuttle to breakfast at a small cafe by the water. The view could not have been more gorgeous.

The rest of the day was spent conquering the zip-line, soaking in the pool, and strolling through the small shops on main street. Mike and I enjoyed every second of the much-needed relaxation. We only wish it could have lasted longer. I'm sure we will be returning in the future.

Getting To Know You

I will be returning to my tax form job soon, so I have been trying to squeeze in a bit more blog writing before the inevitable lack of free time comes along. I am excited to be going back, but also a little sad about less time to myself.

As a shy sort of person, I don't become close to very many people. That's not to say that I don't enjoy being around people. In fact, I would say I like being around people more often than not. The problem arises when it comes to trusting people. More than once in my life, I have gotten close to someone, only to be severely hurt by that person later on. That's why it's hard for me to get close to people. The logic goes like this - If you share your innermost feelings and secrets with someone, that person can use those things against you if you have a falling out. I not only keep most of my feelings and secrets to myself, but just about everything about me, because I am extra cautious.

The problem with this logic is that you may be safe from getting hurt, but you also never feel the joy and connection that can come from being close to people. Sometimes I wish I could break through my shyness and really connect with other people, then other times I remember the horrible hurt that others can dish out. So I suppose it is wise to be careful with your thoughts and feelings, and to look for people who have an aura of kindness about them. (I have always been drawn to really nice people who don't judge, and I strive to be that same kind of person.) But ultimately, you will always have to take that leap of faith if you want to connect with someone.

Pointless Paperlessness

I may have written about this subject before, but I get forgetful in my old age, and frankly, I don't think anyone cares if I repeat myself. So here it goes.....

So many businesses are advocating "going paperless" these days, and I can't understand what all the hype is about. They want you to get e-mail statements instead of getting a bill or statement mailed to you. I understand that companies do this to save money on mailing, but what exactly is the benefit to me? According to the companies, the benefit is less paper clutter for me and I am helping the environment by using less paper. I don't buy that for a second. Let me tell you why.

Going paperless doesn't create less clutter for me because I would have to print out a copy of all my documents for my files. If anything, that is more wasteful because I have to buy incredibly expensive ink for my printer when a big company could print off millions of statements for a fraction of the cost. I guess I could file my documents electronically on the the computer, but that makes me very nervous for a couple of reasons. One, the computer could crash and I could loose all my information. Two, I am much better at organizing files when I have a physical copy. Things seem to get lost and forgotten in the cyber world. Finally, I don't like the idea of receiving personal information through e-mail. Most e-mail is not very secure, and if the information is not directly in the e-mail and I have to sign into a website to get my statement, that is, again, more work for me.

I also don't buy into the idea that going paperless is helping the environment. Even if I decided to get all my statements electronically, I would still go out to my mailbox and find huge wads of ads stuffed in there EVERY DAY. I don't ask for these ads, and they usually go straight into the recycling bin before I even look at them. It seems very inappropriate to say that my tiny amount of bills is hurting the environment when companies are sending out truckloads of ads that people don't even want.

I have been resisting the paperless craze for a while now, but I may give in someday when it becomes impossible to resist the forward flow of new technology. Call me old fashioned, but I am reluctant to rely on any sort of technology too much. So until companies absolutely refuse to send me a paper statement, I will take paper, and let them provide a small service to me for being a customer.

Small and Simple

I have always liked restaurants or businesses that are small. I'm not sure what it is about them. Sure you get more personalized service, but there is also a difference in the quality of the products. It's like when you start to mass-produce something, it looses a bit of what made it special in the first place. The attention to detail is lacking, and the quality suffers for it.

In this day of assembly lines and mass productions, businesses want their products to be all the same so they can guarantee the same quality to everyone. I have even heard of pigs being genetically engineered to be all the same so that the slaughtering machines will cut them in the same place. But what these people don't understand, is that taking the randomness out of a process creates even bigger problems. Problems like the genetically-altered pigs being so susceptible to disease that they have to be isolated in specially-built, climate-controlled buildings. Problems like poor-quality wood from growing trees too fast to be harvested. Problems like antibiotic-resistant bacteria from trying to kill every single bacteria in our food. Problems like massive waste because products aren't made to last, so we just keep constantly buying new ones. Problems like resources lost towards packaging and transporting food.

I wish we could have more small businesses around, but the hard fact is that big businesses make it nearly impossible for small ones to thrive. I don't think humans will change the path they are on until something tragic happens, and even then it may be too late to turn back. All I can do it my little part to buy locally, recycle, and waste as little as possible. Who knows if it will be enough?

Breaking The Mold

It is sometimes very frustrating to me that we live in a society where being outgoing is valued above just about every other trait. You see a job posting, and what do they want? Someone outgoing. You look at businesses, and who do they want? Leaders. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being outgoing. In fact, being outgoing can be a great quality. But, what people don't recognize, is that being introverted can be just as great. The world needs both of these qualities, yet American society would have you believe that we only need extroverts.

I may have mentioned here before that I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain. Well, I think it bares mentioning again because I can't say how much this book did for me. It made me understand that there is nothing wrong with being quiet, and that introverts actually have many strengths that extroverts do not.

Even though I now know that being introverted is a good thing, I still have to live in a society that believes otherwise. Almost every job, and school, and social setting is geared toward extroverts, and that can make it very difficult for introverts to shine. It is like being a left-handed person in a crowd of right-handed people. You are just as capable, but you do things a little differently. Yet, things are a little harder for you because everything is made for the right-handed people.

I wish more people could recognize the strengths of introverts rather than pushing them to be like the extroverts. Introverts can be extroverted at times, but it is much more physically and mentally taxing for them than it is for more natural extroverts. So they need a break from always trying to fit into the extroverted mold of society. I hope my blog can help spread the word, in some small way, that the world would benefit from more introverted inclusion. And if you haven't read Quiet yet, get on that!

Living Offline

I watched a show the other day about people who are addicted to the internet, and specifically social media. These people could spend 12 to 16 hours on the internet each day. I feel bad for the addiction these people have, but at the same time it makes me feel a little better about my own internet usage. Believe me when I say I know how it feels to get sucked into the hole of endless clicking. In fact, I think most people these days can relate to that. But I am proud of the fact that I make an effort not to let the internet suck me in for hours. And that's what it takes - effort. These days it is so easy to get lost in the virtual world and forget about the real world that is all around you. Sure, the real world can be harsh at times. But it can also be amazing, and you can miss out on that if you are stuck watching funny videos of cats or wishing a happy birthday to someone on Facebook who you were friends with 10 years ago.

While there is a lot to be learned from the internet, I am a firm believer that getting out and experiencing things is the way to go. I'm not sure what it is, but there is something to be said about being present in a moment and experiencing it firsthand with all of your senses. That goes for taking pictures and recording videos as well. It's great to have pictures as mementos, but you loose something when you are constantly behind the lens taking pictures of every moment. You are not truly experiencing the moment, and you end up with millions of pictures that don't mean much to you because all you were thinking about at the moment was getting a good shot.

I suppose it is slightly hypocritical of me to talk about getting out and experiencing things when I am a homebody who prefers curling up with a book or a movie to most other outside activities. But I realize the importance of not getting lost inside myself, and I make an effort to "get out there". I'm not saying I am better than anyone else. I just have my views on what is important and I try to live accordingly. I wish all the best for those internet addicts. I hope they realize what they are missing out on and can find a way to make a change.