Comic Con 2015

Yesterday Mike and I went to Salt Lake City Comic Con, and it was quite the experience. I never thought of myself as someone who would like conventions about sci fi, fantasy, gaming, comics, cosplay, and movies, but I have really learned to like it a lot. Mike was always the one who was interested in that stuff and he had to drag me along. However, these days I go willingly and I actually enjoy it a lot.

I may never be as into the whole comic con culture as Mike is, but there are many things I do like about it. I like the comradery and acceptance between people of all different interests and walks of life. I like the child-like joy people get from loosing themselves in a fantasy world for a little while. I like the creativity and expression through amazing works of art. Last of all I like that there is never a dull moment or nothing to see. It blows my mind at the care and attention people put into costumes, and I love seeing so much variety and creativity in one place. I could probably just people watch all day at comic con.

Of course I wanted to look the part this year, so I bought myself a Star Wars shirt. Even though I am not as into Star Wars as some people, it does bring back fond memories of childhood.

There were plenty of Star Wars-related things to see at the con as well. These light sabers where a big hit, if not a bit pricey.

And this thing was made totally out of balloons. I was amazed at the time and patience it must have taken.

This is what part of the con looked like from up above. Some places where so packed we could barley move. Not for the faint of heart, but definitely worth the experience.

Here is Mike and I at the Sean Astin panel. I like to think I don't get too flustered by celebrities, and generally I don't. But if I actually met one in person, I think all bets would be off.

We also went to a panel about the TV show Face Off and one about the new Star Trek show that is coming out. We ate some bad food, bought a few souvenirs, hung out with friends, and just did a lot of LOOKING. At the end we were tired but very satisfied. I have to say I am looking forward to doing it again.

Simple Life

A little while back, when I was at work, I had a woman ask me where the restroom was. I pointed her in the general direction and then went back to what I was doing. A few seconds later she came back to me claiming she still could not find the restroom even though I know she had come within 15 feet of it. At that moment, I could have screamed in frustration. Since when have people become so un-observant and unwilling or incapable of solving a simple problem? It feels like the majority of people these days are living their lives on autopilot, expecting other people or some imaginary force to gently guide them in the right direction.

Drivers don't notice when someone is trying to use the crosswalk. People ask someone else to figure out a simple math problem for them. They cut corners only to sacrifice quality. They ask others to make decisions for them. They miss obvious information.

We all have those days when we are just too tired or overwhelmed to function at our best. On those days we may need a little extra guidance and help. But what I have been observing is a far more serious problem. It's like an epidemic of not caring and ineptitude. It seems we are becoming dumber to point where we don't even realize we are like lambs being lead to the slaughter. We follow the easy path to our doom.

I don't mean to be all doom and gloom about the human race, but sometimes I have some serious questions about our drive and our purpose. Are we living to our full capabilities, or are we merely existing? I would challenge everyone to open their eyes a little wider once in a while. Look a little harder. Do a little more. Think a little harder. Do more than you think you can. Because if you are relying on others to guide you, you may just end up somewhere you don't want to be.

Park City Revival

Can I just tell you how excited I am about the coming Autumn? I am really looking forward to the cooler weather and Halloween and all things Fall. Work has been pretty crazy this year with back-to-school season, but now I get a little rest before the onslaught of what is called "holiday season" but is more like "greed and stress season" every year.

Mike just started a new job last month which affords us a little extra money to work with. I am cautiously enjoying it only because it seems to be a theme in my life that when a good thing happens, something way worse always seems to happen right afterwards to destroy any joy I have felt. But I'm trying to not look at life in that light because if you do it too much it casts a shadow over every happy situation.

One fun thing that Mike and I got to do last month was take a day trip up to Park City. It was beautiful weather and we walked around looking at shops and eating at restaurants. Here is the view from the pizza place we ate at for lunch.

The service wasn't the greatest, but who can complain with a view like that?

Later on, we went to The Canyons ski resort to ride the gondola and possibly rent a paddle boat at the top. The gondola and ski lift rides where beautiful and refreshing with the crisp breeze in our faces.

Once we got to the lake at the top we decided not to rent the paddle boat because the "lake" was more like a small pond with limited paddling room. But the gorgeous views where worth the trip up.

After visiting The Canyons, we went back into Park City and ate a delicious dinner at a small Irish pub. All in all, it was a day to remember and a day that reminds me how lucky I am to have an amazing husband and a very blessed life. It's memories of days like this that carry me through the hard times.

Post Innocence

Summer is flying by as it always does since I became an adult. You would think I would post more, but one thing or another always seems to get in the way. I try to be more relaxed about life than I used to be, and just take things one day at a time or even one hour at a time. So if writing a post doesn't fit into that day, I try not to force it in. I write this blog mostly for relaxation, and it defeats the purpose if I am stressed about it.

One thought that I have been wanting to write about for a while is how I think some people perceive me as a naive or innocent person. I will admit that I grew up pretty sheltered and innocent. But even people who didn't know me as a child seem to think of me that way. Maybe it's because I am a woman, or because I am soft spoken and generally a nice person. Whatever it is, it can be annoying when people treat you like you know nothing about the world.

Since I grew up, I feel like I have learned more than most people how cruel and scary the world can be. But just because I choose not to focus on these aspects of life doesn't mean I am oblivious to them or untouched by them. It is frustrating when people think I have an easy life or that I am too ignorant to understand the hardships they are going through. Let me tell you right now, nothing could be further from the truth. I have been in some of the deepest, darkest holes you could imagine, and I am proud of the fact that I overcame those things and that my eyes are opened because of it. Just because I don't always show it doesn't mean I haven't seen terrible things or felt the strongest emotions.

If I ever act childish it is probably only because I choose to be innocent and happy rather than focus on the negative in life. I see no point in being serious and stressed out all your life. So if you ever meet someone who seems oblivious to life's perils, know that they probably see more, feel more, and know more than you think.

Left Behind

Ever since I was a young child I remember often having a feeling of missing out on something or being left behind. Like when it was my bedtime but my parents were still doing something in the living room. I always wanted to be where they where rather than going to sleep. Not that I didn't want to sleep, but that I didn't want to miss out on what they were doing. Or when I went to summer camp one year and at the end I stayed behind with one of the leaders to finish cleaning and packing up. I felt so sad being one of the last people left in a place where such a large group had had so much fun. I felt uneasy and I couldn't wait to get out of there. Or sometimes when I go to bed at night I think of all the people who are still awake and out doing things and I feel like I am missing something by going to sleep.

These may be odd feelings to have. I truly don't know if many people can understand the feelings I am talking about. Is it just a depression from something fun being over? Is it fear of being alone? Is it anxiety that you won't get to do all the things you want to in life? I don't know.

Another similar feeling comes to me sometimes ever since I found out that there are so many people in the world that even if you flashed a picture of one person per second in front of you for your entire life you still wouldn't even see a fraction of them. That is just SEEING them. Take into account that every person on earth deserves to be loved and understood and deeply known, and you see that it is beyond impossible for one person to do that. It may seem ridiculous that I have a desire to know and understand every individual on earth, but that is kind of how I feel sometimes. It is frustrating to know that it can never happen.

I guess all these feelings may come from a desire to know EVERYTHING and do EVERYTHING. It's not possible, yet my brain still wants to try. It still feels the defeat of failing the impossible task. Weird? Maybe. Common? Maybe. When I get these kinds of feelings all I can do is remind myself that it is not possible to know all things at this time, but maybe it will be in another time and place...

Home Sweet Home

There have been several times where I have met people who are not from Utah and I ask them if they like living in Utah or if they would want to move back to where they are from. Almost always they say, "I like Utah, but there's no place like home." This response always makes me wonder what makes a place feel like home. Is it where your family is? Is it where you grew up? Is it what feels right or familiar? Or is it a combination of these things? What about people who never lived in one place very long? Does any place feel like home to them? Can more than one place feel like home?

I don't have the answer to these questions, but I can say what makes me feel at home. I feel at home in Utah, and more specifically in the area around my city that I am familiar with. I feel at home when I am with my family or friends, and with Mike, and we are doing things we like to do together. I feel at home when I am familiar with many of the people and places around me. I feel at home when I am comfortable.

But could I learn to feel at home in a place I am not familiar with? Could I feel at home anywhere if I lived there long enough? Or is there some lasting impression from the places I was in as a child that can never fully be replaced by a new home?

I don't know for sure if anyone can say what makes a place feel like home. However, I do believe that we should search for and move toward that places that most feel like home. Because when we are in a place that makes us feel happy, we are at our best and we can make the best out of our lives.

Another Point Of View

This year is going by too quick already. Valentine's Day was great except for the horrible cold I was fighting at the time. Mike and I went out to dinner and I don't think I tasted half the food because my nose was so stuffy. But it was wonderful just being with him. Mike always has a way of making me feel like everything will be ok and I feel incredibly loved by him. Here is a picture of the flowers he got me for Valentine's Day.

I think this is one of my favorite arrangements he has gotten me. Not too big or too small. It is just simple and classy. I got him a gift card for a massage because he always likes a good massage. Me, I could take it or leave it, but I'm usually not too fond of strangers touching me.

Near the end of February Mike and I went to the Alton Brown Live show. For those of you who don't know, Alton Brown is a celebrity chef who has multiple television shows and who is known for explaining the science behind creating dishes. What I did not know before we went to the show is that he also sings and plays the guitar. His show was full of him singing, telling stories, and giving quirky food demonstrations. It was a lot of fun! The only thing I wish he did differently was give out samples of his cooking to the audience. By the end of the show Mike and I's mouths were literally watering from the smell of the pizza he made. Then again, it would probably be difficult to cook and deliver samples an entire audience. Here are a few pictures I took at the show. They are not the best quality, but you get the idea.

In February I also finished a picture I had been working on for Mike.

I really wish I had more time to draw or that I was faster at it. I have so many people I want to draw pictures for because I love making people happy by creating something for them.

Now that you are up to date on my life, I wanted to write about something that has been on my mind recently. I am not always the best at maintaining relationships since I am so shy and awkward most of the time. So it is interesting to me when I try to look at myself from another person's point of view. I wonder if my strangeness translates into ambivalence or even contempt to another person. I feel like I try to be kind and friendly most of the time, but maybe it doesn't come off that way? I think it is important to look at the world through other people's eyes because if you don't you will always be blinded by your own biases. But taking another person's point of view is not as easy as it may seem. For one thing, you might see some things about yourself that you don't like. Things you have turned a blind eye to because you don't want to see them. For another thing, you may feel the other person's pain. That can help you gain a better understanding, but of course pain is never fun. However, possibly the most dangerous thing about looking at yourself through another person's point of view is that you can loose touch with everything you thought you knew about yourself. You thought you were nice, but maybe your not. You thought you were strong, but you don't look so strong. You thought you could handle this, but perhaps you are not so capable.

It's at this point that it no longer benefits you to take another view. You have to remember your fundamental beliefs about yourself or you will start to believe all the negative things people say about you. You have to know that just because someone says it or believes it doesn't make it true. You have to stick to what your truth is. Otherwise, you will end up hurting yourself just as much as the negative people do. In other words, don't loose yourself while trying to find another.